Worst date ever - the thread you really wanted

The second was a woman who's opening gambit at dinner was to tell me how much she hated sex and that she would never want to have sex with me or anyone else under any circumstances.

Is that when you put the drops into her drink?
 
The thing I said was "I love you" heat of the moment probably altered the whole "I love this"/"loved that" which is probably what it meant to be.

As for neck kissing the whole hour well my neck got gnawed in but now I'm a grown man I know where direction should have been given :D but still

Ted Mosby, is that you?
 
RaohNS =

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This woman was keen to have a second date. I suggested dinner and drinks. She turned up having already had dinner at home. I was starving but to be polite, settled for a few nibbles to share. I wasn't too sure about her before then, but thought would keep an open mind and give her the benefit of the doubt, but after that evening, no chance.
 
This woman was keen to have a second date. I suggested dinner and drinks. She turned up having already had dinner at home. I was starving but to be polite, settled for a few nibbles to share. I wasn't too sure about her before then, but thought would keep an open mind and give her the benefit of the doubt, but after that evening, no chance.

No this is the sort of humdinger I'd like to read more of.
 
This woman was keen to have a second date. I suggested dinner and drinks. She turned up having already had dinner at home. I was starving but to be polite, settled for a few nibbles to share. I wasn't too sure about her before then, but thought would keep an open mind and give her the benefit of the doubt, but after that evening, no chance.

If that is your worst date ever, you are a lucky lucky man.
 
Nearly got put off the middle eastern fruit for life, after taking a bite of one that was the most sour thing I've ever tasted!;)
 
Not quite a date but my first and only weird experience.

I was 19, feeling alive and flirting with everything going - on one such occasion I started chatting to a girl sat opposite me on the bus and eventually she asked me if I wanted to do anything. Thinking she meant go for a walk in the park nearby or travel back into town I said sure, what did you have in mind. All of a sudden she asks me if I like swimming and do I want to go.

A bit taken back I agreed and thought damn, might lose the old Virginia tea at this rate, so she takes my hand and walks me up to her house from the bus stop still chatting and giggling away.

She said something about her foster parents being a bit over protective and to wait outside while she went in and got her stuff, so I did. A few minutes later I can hear people talking and expecting to see her appear but was startled to be met by rather stern looking lady with short grey hair.

She asked for my name and where I lived before apologising to me and said that the girl couldn't even remember my name and to just leave.

So I did and never looked back. :P
 
Never do cinema or meal on a first date, it's awkward.

Every date I go on I take them Ice Skating, Bowling and then a coffee after we've had a bit of fun. Banged them all too.
 
Was out with some gay housemates doing a little tour of some bars before ending up at G.A.Y and a girl had been kind of stalking me from a couple of bars back.

She wasn't a bad looker at all, but a bit on the big side for me. Given a few drinks and a lot of peer pressure from the rest of the group, I eventually thought sod it and pulled her.
I just remember thinking that despite me having very large hands, I still couldn't determine one bumcheek from the other when giving her a good squeeze..

Still, I was young and I didn't want to write off big girls without at least trying once, so we hooked up again the following week and went back to her place after a few drinks.
Once there, I realised that I obviously hadn't had enough booze to go through with it, so I kept trying to stall by talking until she eventually gets me onto the bed.

Once there, I realise that her belly means I can't climb on top and kiss her without doing some kind of awkward crab maneuver and I'm so far from being turned on that I can't be arsed to divert to other regions, so I ended up climbing off and having a fag out of the window before making my excuses and catching the night bus.

She texted me a couple of times after, but I just blanked her :o So yeah, not my proudest moment...
 
Back in the early days of internet dating I arrange to meet a girl in a restaurant.

I arrived early and had a couple of drinks to calm the nerves, then needed to use the toilet.

Feeling a bit loquacious after the drinks I said to the guy washing his hands next to me "Bloody hell, I'm on a blind date tonight, if she's not up to much and you see me climbing out the toilet window, please don't raise the alarm or say anything."

Anyway, she arrived and I realised I'd fallen for the now well known "flattering angle of her years ago profile photo" scam.

Not being a complete low life, I sat down for dinner with her and started chatting away despite knowing it'd be our last date.

Later on the bloke from the toilet walked past as he returned from a subsequent toilet stop and not so subtly whispers "Don't worry mate, I've even opened the window for you."

She heard and it quickly turned from a pleasant, if platonic, evening to a very awkward situation as I tried to explain my way out of what he had said to me.
 
Back in the early days of internet dating I arrange to meet a girl in a restaurant.

I arrived early and had a couple of drinks to calm the nerves, then needed to use the toilet.

Feeling a bit loquacious after the drinks I said to the guy washing his hands next to me "Bloody hell, I'm on a blind date tonight, if she's not up to much and you see me climbing out the toilet window, please don't raise the alarm or say anything."

Anyway, she arrived and I realised I'd fallen for the now well known "flattering angle of her years ago profile photo" scam.

Not being a complete low life, I sat down for dinner with her and started chatting away despite knowing it'd be our last date.

Later on the bloke from the toilet walked past as he returned from a subsequent toilet stop and not so subtly whispers "Don't worry mate, I've even opened the window for you."

She heard and it quickly turned from a pleasant, if platonic, evening to a very awkward situation as I tried to explain my way out of what he had said to me.

Sorry, but this is just brilliant! :D
 
Back in the early days of internet dating I arrange to meet a girl in a restaurant.

I arrived early and had a couple of drinks to calm the nerves, then needed to use the toilet.

Feeling a bit loquacious after the drinks I said to the guy washing his hands next to me "Bloody hell, I'm on a blind date tonight, if she's not up to much and you see me climbing out the toilet window, please don't raise the alarm or say anything."

Anyway, she arrived and I realised I'd fallen for the now well known "flattering angle of her years ago profile photo" scam.

Not being a complete low life, I sat down for dinner with her and started chatting away despite knowing it'd be our last date.

Later on the bloke from the toilet walked past as he returned from a subsequent toilet stop and not so subtly whispers "Don't worry mate, I've even opened the window for you."

She heard and it quickly turned from a pleasant, if platonic, evening to a very awkward situation as I tried to explain my way out of what he had said to me.

:eek::D:D
 
Another one has just come to mind....

In between leaving Newcastle where I went to uni and subsequently moving back 15 years later I popped up for a New Years night out with some Geordie mates.

I got absolutely steaming but managed to hook up for some heavy petting in the club with what, I thought in my inebriated state, was the sort of woman I'd never forget she was so stunning before swapping phone numbers and going our separate ways with our respective friends.

We then exchanged texts for a couple of weeks before I plucked up the courage to invite her down to Leicester to spend the weekend together.

We arranged for me to greet her off the train as I lived a short walk from the station.

The evening arrives and I get dressed up and head off with a jaunty spring to my step to meet this supermodel who is imprinted on my mind.

I get to the station a couple of minutes after the train must have arrived as there was a stream of people coming out the front entrance, so I fight my way against the tide to the ticket hall and scan for my future wife, don't see her so assume it was a different train that had arrived and turn quickly around before grabbing a quick pint in the pub next door while I wait.

I then get a phone call from her and quickly answer with "Hey, how you doing, hope the train hasn't been delayed too long, I'm dying to see you."

"You just have you idiot, you looked straight at me and were gone before I could even wave."

By this point in my life I was getting quite good at awkward conversations, these incidents are only the ones I'm prepared to share such was my dating inadequacy....
 
Did you go back and find her? :p

Yeah, and to be fair she wasn't bad looking, just not what I expected.

I also managed to rescue the situation and we had a couple of reasonably fun nights, but the second night i over indulged in my consumption in the club and ended up dying in bed the next day while she drank tea and had lunch downstairs with my female housemates and waited for her train.

She stuck her head round the door of my room before she left and said something along the lines of "Thanks for the 'interesting' weekend, I don't think you should text me again though."
 
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