Worst date ever - the thread you really wanted

Mine was Saturday lol
We agreed to me at 3pm in a small village in the peak district.
Not been there before, google said hour n 12mins, so I knew I could do it easily in an hour on my motorbike.
printed off the directions.
I had only 2hrs sleep Saturday morning after finishing night shift at 6am, had to take the bike for an MOT at 10am, so it may have been tiredness, I thought take it easy any leave at 1:30, but for some strange reason a little later on I had it in my head leave at 2:30 lol
Come 2:30 it dawns on my I'm late hahaha.
texts I will be 30mins late, its cool no worries came the reply.
rush out the house forgetting the printout of the route that's still on the printer.
knew most of the way there, but to save time I thought go the most direct route and not the way I know.
Big mistake, got lost with all the little lanes up there and ended up 2hrs late , she was remarkably calm hahahaha, the rest on the afternoon went well.
But thought I had blown it after the date finished.
luckily for me we going out again, she must be mad lol
 
Hmm, got nothing on some of these.

Had one date with a girl, stunning eastern European, where we went for a meal on the Southbank. Tables in this place were quite close together and had another couple next door who could tell we were on a first date from the usual chat of finding out about eachother.
Anyway, couldn't help but notice she was playing with her ring a lot (on her finger!). This ring had a little circular link on the top of it, like the first link in a chain. Commented on it and she looked me in the eye and asked if I knew what the ring signified?
I genuinely hadn't a clue and told her so to which she said, this signifies to other people that I'm a submissive partner in a BDSM relationship...

Nearly fell off my seat and the head of the bloke at the table whipped around to give me a look of you lucky *******

Went out with her for a few weeks which were awesome. She was absolutely mental though so had to put a stop to it, much to the annoyance of my friends.
 
a friend had a shocking first date, which in fairness was partly my fault :D
Being a bit of a boy racer back in the day, i was a member of quite a few car sites. one of them was quite notorious for being offensive. Any girls which signed up were immediately sleazed upon with the goal of getting webcam pics to share in a hidden section on the site.
So this one girl joins, i set to work on the sleaze. we chat on msn and things go better than expected. she's being filthy and saying i should pay her a visit that coming weekend.
Arrangements are made, only problem is she's with a friend who is some short fat dumpy troll and she wants me to set this girl up with one of my mates.
I manage to persuade a friend to wingman for me and entertain this swampbeast. To protect his identity we'll call him steve.
So that weekend we drive down and meet the girls at the hotel. the lass i'm meeting is decent, her friend is even worse in real life, much to the disappointment of steve, lol.
we go out for a quick bite to eat and steve and his date barely speak 2 words to each other.
Going back up to the hotel room plan is to get changed and hit up some bars. except me and the girl never made it back out of the room (use your imagination :p)
about midnight I heard steve banging on the door, but being the good friend i am i just ignored it and carried on pasty smashing.
About half 3 i was woken up by what sounded like a riot in the corridor, bottles smashing, shouting etc but just ignored it and fell back asleep.
The next morning we checked out and i drove back. a very hungover, tired, bloodshot eyes passenger next to me. I then got his side of events.
So the trog girl though quite highly of herself and wasn't interested in poor steve. When we arranged to go for drinks those two waited in the downstairs bar for us. when we didn't show trog decided to just go back to the room and lock and bolt the door. Steve had a few drinks then decided to turn in...except trog wouldn't open the door and as she'd bolted it the keycard wouldn't open it. he then banged on my door to sleep in my room (which i ignored) so he went back to the bar and got hammered instead.
with nowhere to sleep he ended up just bedding down in the corridor outside the rooms.
unfortunately about 3.30am a group of lads came back from a night out and as steve was sleeping in the dark corridor the literally fell over him, dropping bottles and spilling beer on him as they tumbled to the ground. he then got a few kicks and a load of abuse off them for that then had to sit in the corridor for the next few hours feeling sore, hungover and soaked in alcohol until trog got up and he could get in the room HE paid for, lol.
I found it hilarious as he's telling me all about it on the drive back, although he ended up with the last laugh as a week or so later i got a very itchy and burning pee pipe, had to have cotton bud down the eye and found out i'd got clap :(

Still, was worth it it, got pics and vids to show the lads on the hidden section :D
 
also can't compete with any of these :( but still

Years back I did a bit of internet dating before i met my now wife.

I went on a second date with a girl that showed some promise, did the usual triple S getting ready (2/3 being shower & shave) before meeting her at a local pub for sunday lunch.

Unfortunately my razor must have been getting a bit blunt as I ended up with an exceptionally horrible case of razor burn - massive blotchy red marks all over my neck and an incessant itching :(

To make matters worse it turned out that while I probably didn't actually need a shave she most certainly did. The realisation of why she'd chosen a dark pub for the first date fell into place as I was greeted by a disturbingly hirsute visage :eek:

Don't remember much about the date but i didn't speak to her after that...
 
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I have quite a bizarre story, wasn't a date, more of a one night stand.

So I was out in Camden for my mates birthday, considerably "smashed" at a relatively quiet bar, when I met a girl, she was quite cute but was also with company, her mother. Now normally I probably would have avoided this, I mean who goes out with there mum and gets wrecked in a pub at 2am? but me being me I joined there table and we started talking. The girl was flirting with me excessively but I kept eyeing her mum up...It was something in me, I wanted the mum, sort of a bucket list type of thing but never thought the situation could allow it. After many many more drinks and the pub closing, the girl says we should all share a cab and go back to there house in Enfield, I obliged.

When we got to her house, I did the deed on the daughter, with her mum in the next room (yeah this was just a surreal experience all around), I then fell asleep. A few hours pass, it was probably around 7am and I wake up to the mum tapping my leg...she had come in the room and woke up quietly, she asked me to follow, again I obliged. She took me to her room and well, you can guess the rest. I then got a cab and left, did not fancy breakfast with the both of them.

Im not even making any of this up, its 100% factual.

Most surreal evening of my life.
 
Xire said:
I have quite a bizarre story, wasn't a date, more of a one night stand.

So I was out in Camden for my mates birthday, considerably "smashed" at a relatively quiet bar, when I met a girl, she was quite cute but was also with company, her mother. Now normally I probably would have avoided this, I mean who goes out with there mum and gets wrecked in a pub at 2am? but me being me I joined there table and we started talking. The girl was flirting with me excessively but I kept eyeing her mum up...It was something in me, I wanted the mum, sort of a bucket list type of thing but never thought the situation could allow it. After many many more drinks and the pub closing, the girl says we should all share a cab and go back to there house in Enfield, I obliged.

When we got to her house, I did the deed on the daughter, with her mum in the next room (yeah this was just a surreal experience all around), I then fell asleep. A few hours pass, it was probably around 7am and I wake up to the mum tapping my leg...she had come in the room and woke up quietly, she asked me to follow, again I obliged. She took me to her room and well, you can guess the rest. I then got a cab and left, did not fancy breakfast with the both of them.

Im not even making any of this up, its 100% factual.

Most surreal evening of my life.
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Now that is seriously weird :eek:

Maybe they weren't really mother and daughter?
 
Xire said:
I have quite a bizarre story, wasn't a date, more of a one night stand.

So I was out in Camden for my mates birthday, considerably "smashed" at a relatively quiet bar, when I met a girl, she was quite cute but was also with company, her mother. Now normally I probably would have avoided this, I mean who goes out with there mum and gets wrecked in a pub at 2am? but me being me I joined there table and we started talking. The girl was flirting with me excessively but I kept eyeing her mum up...It was something in me, I wanted the mum, sort of a bucket list type of thing but never thought the situation could allow it. After many many more drinks and the pub closing, the girl says we should all share a cab and go back to there house in Enfield, I obliged.

When we got to her house, I did the deed on the daughter, with her mum in the next room (yeah this was just a surreal experience all around), I then fell asleep. A few hours pass, it was probably around 7am and I wake up to the mum tapping my leg...she had come in the room and woke up quietly, she asked me to follow, again I obliged. She took me to her room and well, you can guess the rest. I then got a cab and left, did not fancy breakfast with the both of them.

Im not even making any of this up, its 100% factual.

Most surreal evening of my life.
Click to expand...

That is one of those almost unbelievable porn like scenario stories! What a shame you couldn't get them both involved at the same time :D
 
You have probably done something there most guys would want to do. Daughter wasn't a Vicky Pollard was she?

My mate once broke a girl in in someone's living room while a party was going on. They left the room and returned after the deed was done.

For some reason its horrible hearing your mate dtd with their bird when they are in the room next to you and your Mrs :confused:
 
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