Would you get married in a church?

Nitefly · 6 Apr 2009 at 14:56

This isn’t a thread for religion bashing or belief preaching, just for opinions on the following:

I really like churches. I think they are beautiful, traditional buildings that have been a place of many joyous occasions. As such, I couldn’t imagine a better place to become married. However, I am not a Christian. This, to some extent, makes me feel that it would be disrespectful for me to get married in a church.

I was asked “but surely if you don’t believe in God, then it doesn’t matter anyway?”. However, I cannot agree. I think it would, arguably, be mocking Christian beliefs by taking advantage of what is essentially a religious building for my own benefits.

I’m not getting married any time soon (thankfully

), but I thought it was an interesting point of discussion. Is it right to get married in a church if you are not religious? What do you plan to do, or what have you done?

Nitefly · 6 Apr 2009 at 15:11

martinturner said:
People without faith who get married in a church are not seeking gods blessing though, are they? They are getting married in a church as the idea of a church wedding is appealing.

But the whole reason of getting married in a church is to have a ceremony in front of god, since it is a religious building.

Should a church be preserved for its religious reasons, or is it little more than a glorified function hall? I think some Christians might find the latter quite insulting. Hence, I would choose not to get married in a church.

Nitefly · 6 Apr 2009 at 15:13

Gilly said:
To me though, a church is simply a nice building. Nothing more.

From my perspective, it isn't simply about how I view the building, it's about the opinions of those who own and frequently use the building, and what it means to them.

Nitefly · 6 Apr 2009 at 15:15

Skidder said:
I think it would be an issue to pretend to be religious. I told the vicar I was an atheist and explained my views on marriage and why it was important to my wife. He was happy enough so I don't see why anyone else should be put out.

In those circumstances, I imagine I would be happy to get married in a church. I think that is very respectable of you.

Nitefly · 6 Apr 2009 at 15:16

martinturner said:
I am Christian and do not find it offensive.

I know some Christians who do find it offensive.

The whole issue is subjective, there are no rights or wrongs here

Nitefly · 6 Apr 2009 at 15:17

Monkey Puzzle said:
Looked at another way, I suppose a lot of Churches were built with the country's money in years gone by, so the country should have a right to use them.

/Devils' advocate

Haha, I appreciate your argument but it is to technically based for me to take it into account.

emmjaybee said:
More to the point why get married at all?

Legal reasons.

Nitefly · 6 Apr 2009 at 15:30

Skidder said:
not to me

You are taking something objective and making it subjective. A church, by definition, is a place of worship, regardless of whether you worship there or not.

Nitefly · 6 Apr 2009 at 15:35

RDM said:
To be fair, as far as weddings go, an Anglican Church is a place of business with generally a set rate for the hire of the building and an additional fee for the vicar. The Catholic church is similar but calls it "a donation" instead

Well, that's the whole issue. Should a Church really be used a function room, from the 'consumer's' view?

Nitefly · 6 Apr 2009 at 15:39

Skidder said:
No, actually I'm being objective. Of course it's a place of worship, that is blindingly obvious, the question is whether or not that matters to an atheist and I don't think it does.

If you think something is based on made up nonsense, lies, half-truths and chinese whispers does it merit tip-toeing around it so as not to offend?

My point, which I think I made better previously, was that it doesn't matter to me how others view a church in this context, only how I view it.

That's fair enough. Out of curiosity, would you be happy to have a drunken rave in a church, considering it is just a building, or would that be disrespectful?

Nitefly · 6 Apr 2009 at 15:46

Skidder said:
Good question!

I don't go out of my way to offend people (mostly) so I would only have a drunken rave in a church if the vicar was on the decks.

Haha, good answer.

I imagine it would be hard to draw the line when deciding what is 'disrespectful' if a church truly is 'just a building'. I think partying is a good example as it isn't something we consider to be impolite anyway.