Would you stay in a job you strongly dislike for the money?

regulus

regulus

regulus

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Hi,

As per thread title. Not really asking for myself but more for the girlfriend. However, I'm also asking anyone here that wishes to respond.

Currently the girlfriend is about 4 months into a 12 month FTC and absolutely hating it. Problem is, she's on damn good money, extremely good money in fact and that's what's been keeping her there. The past few days she's been withdrawn, sullen and moody and admitted that it's the job that's making her like this. We had a long talk about it and tried adjusting her frame of mind a bit where she don't think about the work as much as what it could do for her going forward, financially or otherwise. We've set some short term achievable goals that can be measured in weeks or even days. E.g, achieving milestone '1' she only needs to get through another 6 working days. Milestone 2 needs to see her get through 15 days, milestone 3 is just 4 days, etc. The deal she made to herself is that she can quit whenever she likes, provided she finish the current milestone she's on.

The problem is, she's an extreme type person. She either TOTALLY LOVES!!!! something, or ABSOLUTELY HATES IT!!!!!!. So it's tough to get measured gauge of what's really going on. But, she seems to be happy with her 'milestones' decision and it allows her something to work towards in small, manageable targets, instead of one endless day flowing into another.

How about you guys/gals, would you stay in a job you're not liking where the money is rather good?
 
malachi said:
No, my happiness and health is more important.
Click to expand...

This ^^

I did 10 years night shift at the Bank of Scotland. IBM upgraded the IT system and the bank asked for voluntary redundancies. I was the only one who wanted it. With a lot of negotiation and playing my cards close to my chest I was out. Best move I made.
 
I was truly miserable about 10 years ago in a very toxic environment, and where the pay was not particularly good either (though good for my age/level). I was doing 12hr days plus a 3hr commute. Life wasn't fun. But I grit my teeth and made the most of it and ended up in a much better place as a result. Had I quit, I don't think I would be where I am now, it toughened me up a little.

Now, the only bad thing about my current job is the commute, but that is a choice I made. It's a minor inconvenience (adds a bit to my day and have less down time, other than the commute where I get to watch catch up tv/movies/series), but the package outweighs that. Sure, I'd love to work from home, or have a sub 1hr commute, but it's not that bad really.

In terms of your GF - if it is that toxic, then considering it's FTC, she should / could be able to find something else, as it sounds as though she's skilled at what she does to have landed that job. However, if she's able to, can she not try and change the environment at all? If it really is too static, then depending on her field and how easily she can find another role, I'd consider that.

Happiness is the most important thing to success IMO.

Here is a post written by the institute of directors that I came across recently:

1. Create your own happiness (don’t sit back and wait for it).
Every second you waste waiting for happiness is a second you could have been using to create it. The happiest people aren’t the luckiest, wealthiest or best-looking; the happiest people are those who make an effort to be happy. If you want to create your own happiness, you have to start by making it a priority. We work so hard to avoid letting other people down, but we so often do so at the expense of our own happiness.

2. Surround yourself with the right people.
Happiness is contagious. Surrounding yourself with happy people builds confidence and stimulates creativity, and it’s flat-out fun. Hanging around negative people has the opposite effect — they want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. Think of it this way: If a person were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke?

3. Get enough sleep.
I’ve beaten this one to death over the years and can’t say enough about the importance of sleep to improving your mood, focus and self-control. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, removing toxic proteins that accumulate during the day as byproducts of normal neuronal activity. This ensures that you wake up alert and clear-headed. Your energy, attention and memory are all reduced when you don’t get enough quality sleep. Sleep deprivation also raises stress hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present. Happy people make sleep a priority, because it makes them feel great and they know how lousy they feel when they’re sleep deprived.

4. Live in the moment.
You can’t reach your full potential until you learn to live your life in the present. No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. It’s impossible to be happy if you’re constantly somewhere else, unable to fully embrace the reality (good or bad) of this very moment. To help yourself live in the moment, you must do two things: First, accept your past. If you don’t make peace with your past, it will never leave you and, in doing so, it will create your future. Second, accept the uncertainty of the future. Worry has no place in the here and now. As Mark Twain once said, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”

5. Learn to love yourself.
Most of us have no problem marveling at our friends’ good qualities, but it can be hard to appreciate our own. Learn to accept who you are, and appreciate your strengths. Studies have shown that practicing self-compassion increases the number of healthy choices you make, improves mental health and decreases your tendency to procrastinate.

6. Appreciate what you have.
Taking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the “right” thing to do. It also improves your mood, because it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23 percent. Research conducted at the University of California, Davis found that people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood, energy and physical well-being. It’s likely that lower levels of cortisol played a major role in this.

7. Exercise.
Getting your body moving for as little as 10 minutes releases GABA, a neurotransmitter that makes your brain feel soothed and keeps you in control of your impulses. Happy people schedule regular exercise and follow through on it because they know it pays huge dividends for their mood.

8. Forgive, but don’t forget.
Happy people live by the motto “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” They forgive in order to prevent a grudge, but they never forget. The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Holding on to that stress can have devastating consequences for your health and mood, and happy people know to avoid this at all costs. However, offering forgiveness doesn’t mean they’ll give a wrongdoer another chance. Happy people will not be bogged down by mistreatment from others, so they quickly let things go and are assertive in protecting themselves from future harm.

9. Get in touch with your feelings.
Attempting to repress your emotions doesn’t just feel bad; it’s bad for you. Learning to be open about your feelings decreases stress levels and improves your mood. One study even suggested that there was a relationship between how long you live and your ability to express your emotions. It found that people who lived to be at least 100 were significantly more emotionally expressive than the average person.

10. Concentrate on what you can control.
Rather than dwelling on the things you can’t control, try putting your effort into the things that you can. Have a long commute to work? Try listening to audiobooks. Hurt your leg jogging? Try swimming. More often than not, we take the bad and let it hold us back when it doesn’t have to. Happy people are happy because they take their failures in stride, not because they don’t fail.

11. Have a growth mindset.
People’s core attitudes fall into one of two categories: a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. With a fixed mindset, you believe you are who you are and you cannot change. This creates problems when you’re challenged, because anything that appears to be more than you can handle is bound to make you feel hopeless and overwhelmed. People with a growth mindset believe that they can improve with effort. This makes them happier because they are better at handling difficulties. They also outperform those with a fixed mindset because they embrace challenges, treating them as opportunities to learn something new.

Bringing It All Together
These strategies won’t just improve your happiness; they’ll also make you a better person. Pick those that resonate with you and have fun with them.
Click to expand...

Not sure if there are any useful takeaways for her, or anyone else, but certainly prompts a little thinking.
 
I was earning excellent money in investment banking IT. It was an awful soul-destroying job.

That was just over 3 years ago. Now I'm earning good money developing AAA games.

Best career move I ever made. I don't miss the money, still have plenty to live comfortably and do/buy the things that I want, but my work life is genuinely interesting and full of great people. No stress whatsoever.
 
Never, you see so many people off on the sick because of their job and it baffles me why they don't just leave and try somewhere else. It can be extremely damaging to your health staying in environments like that for long periods of time and have lasting effects.
 
I would do it if the rewards were significant enough (either financially or for my career) but only in the short term and with a definite exit plan.
 
regulus said:
Hi,

As per thread title. Not really asking for myself but more for the girlfriend. However, I'm also asking anyone here that wishes to respond.

Currently the girlfriend is about 4 months into a 12 month FTC and absolutely hating it. Problem is, she's on damn good money, extremely good money in fact and that's what's been keeping her there. The past few days she's been withdrawn, sullen and moody and admitted that it's the job that's making her like this. We had a long talk about it and tried adjusting her frame of mind a bit where she don't think about the work as much as what it could do for her going forward, financially or otherwise. We've set some short term achievable goals that can be measured in weeks or even days. E.g, achieving milestone '1' she only needs to get through another 6 working days. Milestone 2 needs to see her get through 15 days, milestone 3 is just 4 days, etc. The deal she made to herself is that she can quit whenever she likes, provided she finish the current milestone she's on.

The problem is, she's an extreme type person. She either TOTALLY LOVES!!!! something, or ABSOLUTELY HATES IT!!!!!!. So it's tough to get measured gauge of what's really going on. But, she seems to be happy with her 'milestones' decision and it allows her something to work towards in small, manageable targets, instead of one endless day flowing into another.

How about you guys/gals, would you stay in a job you're not liking where the money is rather good?
Click to expand...

What aspects of the job is she not enjoying? Is it something that can be changed?

Unfortunately if it's something like the type of work, or the people at work, then there's probably little that can be done.

One bonus she does have is that there is a fixed length in place, i can imagine some people get stuck in an endless rut without having an end date in sight. So ultimately the question is, can she see through the remainder of the 8 months. I quite like how you've broken down the time into milestones, as that will mean 1 bad day doesn't auto sway a decision to leave. You can stick it out for a few more days etc and see if things improve.
 
It's definitely a matter of scale, there are jobs I'd be willing to work for 5x my current salary that I wouldn't be willing to do for 2x my current salary...

If she can stick it out for 8 more months and learn a lot and make really good income then I wouldn't leave personally.

It depends on other options though, can she look to find something elsewhere on similar terms? If she has an alternative then it makes it a lot easier to walk.
 
I have done for the last decade, now I'm desperately trying to get out, but find a job I like is hard, all the ones I'm interested in have requirements I don't have, so it might take a while. Or depending how redeployment goes I'm also interested in using the money to try and build by own company. Or if they move me to a worse job EVR is a distinct possibility.

As its a 12 month contract it may very well be a good idea to stick it out, however have a game plan and don't get stuck in the rut of that's what I have experience in, and a decade later she's still doing similar.
 
I recently left my previous role of 6 years, of which the last 3 were absolutely soul destroying for quite a number of us for a variety of reasons. The role itself was great on paper to be honest. My circle of influence was huge and had full control over my own workload, as well as the teams that worked for me. On the flip-side though, I had a 3-4 hour commute each day, the office environment and culture was absolutely vile in the most part following an acquisition by a much larger American company, and we were being pressured into absolutely far-fetched corporate targets with minimal investment, with a large portion of our workforce being made redundant over the first two years following the acquisition. My reason for sticking around so long was simply down to a feeling of loyalty to the products and service we provided. The money wasn't particularly good and neither were the benefits for London. There came a point where I was in work mode for 80+ hours per week and found it really had hit my mental well-being hard upon reflection back on the better days, with no medium term outlook on anything improving. I was fortunate/unfortunate in that I was not alone in this feeling and had cultivated a sort of support group with a select few of the staff that came across with me, but had to call it a day for my own sake earlier this year. I'm now 1 month into working for another company within a totally different industry, in a much happier environment, with different challenges of course. I sincerely regret having not left 3 years sooner as I will not get that lost time back.

My opinion is that money isn't necessarily everything, and that health and well-being really should be a priority. You only get one shot at life, so why waste it doing something you really dislike? Unless of course it really is a short term means to an end. There comes a point in most peoples working lives that they have to struggle through dark times, whether it's in the form of overbearing pressures outside of your control getting you down, or you simply don't enjoy the role you've taken on. You should use your own judgement on whether you should grin aand battle through these tough times, or move on elsewhere in search of the greener grass.
 
It is interesting sometimes what people don't like about a job - I know someone who was moaning about their bullying, toxic boss and always been depressed at work and how hateful/stressful it was, etc. - turns out they were lazy as **** and worked to a poor standard and the boss was just a normal person who didn't have any patience for people who didn't at least do their job to a minimum basic standard.
 
Depends how well paid and , particularly, the difference above an 'enjoyable' job.

In principle, though, yes I would. At least for a while, and certainly for another 9 months.

However, if I could earn enough to be comfortable, happy and able to do the things I wanted to whilst in a job I liked, then I wouldn't jack it in for more money, even if it was a lot more money.

I actually struggle to imagine doing a job I like, though. My current role is perfectly fine, working for a nice company. But I just hate being at work no matter what - I resent having to spend time being here. Makes me ******* miserable.
 
Interesting responses so far.

She's in a government job and due to it being fixed term, everyone on that particular contract are generally on double what they should be on. So that is something she's taking into account. She's one of those people that don't do well with boredom or repetative tasks and that sours her mood. She seem to like the people she's working with/for so no issues there. Either way, she's going to actively try and be more positive and let any and all BS flow through her. She's also starting one of her smaller milestones today which is only 6 days of work. We've taken it a bit further and calculated what 6 days is worth in take-home pay and written down how it influence her life in a positive way. E,g, 6 days of pay is enough for a month and a half of expenses, etc. We've done that with every milestone and wrote down how that money helps her life/savings and plans in real terms, not just little numbers on a screen.

FF, that's an interesting list of thoughts. I've printed it and stuck it on the fridge. I can use that for myself too.
 
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