Would your opinion of someone change....

platypus · 19 Dec 2007 at 16:19

Demands someone stops doing something perhaps.

But if you go into a relationship knowing full well that your other half detests something and then to take it up after being in that relationship for sometime is thoughtless, surely?

Nitefly · 19 Dec 2007 at 16:20

platypus said:
Demands someone stops doing something perhaps.

But if you go into a relationship knowing full well that your other half detests something and then to take it up after being in that relationship for sometime is thoughtless, surely?

It should be that her knowing of your loathing for smoking makes her not want to do it. Not because you tell her she can't!

Kell_ee001 · 19 Dec 2007 at 16:21

My opinion of someone wouldn't change but I would encourage them to stop, purely for their health and wallet though

PardonTheWait · 19 Dec 2007 at 16:22

platypus said:
Demands someone stops doing something perhaps.

But if you go into a relationship knowing full well that your other half detests something and then to take it up after being in that relationship for sometime is thoughtless, surely?

Fair point. I think we're of a similar opinion on this, just coming at it from different angles (oo-er) anyway.

platypus · 19 Dec 2007 at 16:24

Nitefly said:
It should be that her knowing of your loathing for smoking makes her not want to do it. Not because you tell her she can't!

Quite, what I've been trying to say, only not so succinctly perhaps.

Mohinder said:
Fair point. I think we're of a similar opinion on this, just coming at it from different angles (oo-er) anyway.

Aye seems that way (oo-er missus

).

JodieO · 19 Dec 2007 at 16:50

It would bother me if my husband started to smoke as I think it stinks and I certainly wouldn't kiss him. The smell from smokers is awful and their clothes all reek. I would definitely try and get him to stop.

Skull · 19 Dec 2007 at 16:59

platypus said:
Demands someone stops doing something perhaps.

But if you go into a relationship knowing full well that your other half detests something and then to take it up after being in that relationship for sometime is thoughtless, surely?

I totally agree with your opinion on the gf starting to smoke. Apart from the fact that I find the mental image of her smoking disgusting, it would demonstrate a few things..

a) Sheer weakness of mind and character and no willpower
b) Blatant disregard for long-term health, or
c) Massive ignorance re the harm from breathing in smoke.
d) Blatant disregard for my comfort or health.
e) Blatant disregard for my wishes about her smoking
f) Carelessness re finances

I mean that's just what it would mean to me, and I could never be with a woman in whom I'd see all of those things every time she went to smoke, or every time I smelt her.

joeconway · 19 Dec 2007 at 18:18

personally yes, I'd be really disappointed in my girlfriend if she started again (i know that sounds patronising), because she should know how much it would upset me and the person I know her to be would be more considerate. Hence it would represent something more significant other than being a disgusting habit.

cuppy tea · 19 Dec 2007 at 18:20

Have you recieved it in the post yet?

Buffman · 19 Dec 2007 at 18:23

My oppinion of them wouldn't change, just the smell of them would irritate me.

James07 · 19 Dec 2007 at 18:35

Nah but it would annoy me to the point where i didnt wana be with the girl..

DRZ · 19 Dec 2007 at 19:02

It wouldnt change my opinion of them but it would certainly affect my relationship with them.

Its horrible.

Edinho · 19 Dec 2007 at 20:36

Arn't there more important things to worry about? If they want to smoke let em, as long as its not forced on me I couldn't careless.

As for not starting when you get out of your teens. I plan to start when I retire, sit in the garden with a beer smoking a pipe sounds like heaven, if the other half doesnt like it leave.

benneh · 19 Dec 2007 at 20:41

No. I have smoked, and been out with smokers whilst not smoking. It would be far too easy to get held up by every none event, and life is far too short (and so is love).

Jamie1984 · 19 Dec 2007 at 20:41

Phate said:
If they started smoking?

GF used to smoke years ago when she went through that teenage "it's well cool to smoke" phase. And she hasn't smoked for about 3 years.

Now, on Saturday night the conversation between me, her and 2 others came up about smoking and I said about how much I detest smoking. She asked me straight out if I would change at all if she started smoking - I honestly said that at first I probably would and then I'd get over it and try to get her to stop.

She said it's her choice to smoke, fair enough - I'm not saying it's not - What I'm saying is I wouldn't want to go out with an ashtray. Then the convo moved onto something else before anything major kicked off

So my question is, if someone very close (I mean REAL close) to you, began smoking - What would be your first reaction? Would your opinion of them change? Would you try to get them to stop? ???

well i swore id never go out with a smoker, i hate the smell of it and of course there are health implications.
I did however meet my current girlfriend and knew from the start she smokes. My views on smoke havent changed, i still find it disgusting but i accept its her choice to smoke and me to go out with her, all i ask is that she gets rid of the smell if she wants to get close to me.
If were talking partners here, Id say its pointless to try getting them to stop...at the end of the day its an addiction to which they have to deal with (and if theyre happy to continue with it...its their choice) and will only be detrimental to your relationship with said partner if youre gonna nag.

J.

romperstomper · 19 Dec 2007 at 20:52

Jamie1984 said:
If were talking partners here, Id say its pointless to try getting them to stop...at the end of the day its an addiction to which they have to deal with (and if theyre happy to continue with it...its their choice) and will only be detrimental to your relationship with said partner if youre gonna nag.

J.

I stopped mine from smoking ,it was hard work ,in the end I told her I that I can't go out with a smoker any more ,that worked !
Now we both frown and look at smokers with disgust

Vixen · 19 Dec 2007 at 20:59

Yes, my opinion of them would change as I can't stand smokers. I would never be with a smoker, and I agree with platypus, if my partner started smoking that would be the end of the relationship.
It's a much smaller deal to smokers or ex-smokers, but the people critising platypus obviously don't care about smoking to any extent. My boyfriends mum and her boyfriend smoke at their kitchen door to try to stop the house smelling of smoke as a lot of people do. I visited for less than 24 hours at the weekend and all of the clean, unworn clothes that were in my bag upstairs behind a permanently closed door came home reeking of smoke so badly that they had to go straight back in the washing pile

. I would never accept that of my own home, and being around smokers makes me sick. Smoking is a huge lifestyle change which affects everyone around you.

I would never tell my boyfriend that he can't smoke, but I can tell him that he won't be coming anywhere near me if he does. As I'd never be with someone who wanted to smoke though, it's not a problem, he'll never smoke and I'll never have to leave him for it

.