Xmas cracker joke thread

[Merlin5]

Superbly random one:

What do you call a group of chess champions bragging in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Winner

 

[Angilion]

A person's luggage was lost in transit by an airline. They sued the airline for US$ 5M for the inconvenience and emotional trauma.

They lost their case.


Here's one for young children (and us here )

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?

No, you're a poo!

 

[gronf]

What do you call a deep and crisp and even pizza cooked by good King Wencelas ?

Soon, "high-tariff good" or just "banned", as King Wencelas' realm is part of the EU.

Was gonna do a proper rendition, e.g. "a poor GD'er came in sight" or "Therefore, every GD'er, be sure; corner sofa or Gucci belt possessing..." but I'm very lazy this time of year.

 

[Angilion]

I took a bike to the tip and they told me it could be recycled.

So I rode it home.

 

[Rids]

How did Jesus get his shopping home from the supermarket?

Lidl donkey.

 

[Angilion]

What's green and doesn't weigh much?

Light green.

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

DUNG!

I've been bald for years but I still have my old comb. I can't part with it.

 

[secretspy]

What do you call a deep and crisp and even pizza cooked by good King Wencelas ?

I think you meant to ask "how does good King Winceslas like his pizzas?"

Deep and crisp and even