Your Funniest Helpdesk calls....

Years ago, as a field engineer.

End of the day, just got back to the office, and had about 30 mins till i could go home. Was planning to clear some crap from my van when a call came through to go to a site. No big deal, lady with a faulty laptop cd-drive. It was less than 2 minutes away.

So, off i go with replacement drive in hand and visit the lady.

Me: Hello, here to take a look at the faulty laptop!
Lady: Thank God, its been driving me crazy, the darn thing wont read any CDs
Me: Ok, can you show me the problem?

The lady takes a CD, puts it into the already open tray, pushes it closed with her finger firmly over the eject button. Low and behold, 3 seconds later the drive ejects.

Lady: See!! stupid thing, i have not been able to work all day because of this blahl blah blah

At this point i reach over and close the drive bay without my finger over the button, the autostart runs and shows on screen Mid rant she looks at me in amazment.

Lady: How in the name of God did you do that!?



Oh, and when working on a helpdesk for a well known global toy chain i received an e-mail from a store with the title in big capitals

E-MAIL IS DOWN - Please Help.

I had a hard time talking to the lady at the store, she didnt understand why I found this hilarious!
 
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Was working as second level support for a broadband company, someone came to me and said "I have this customer who says his modem doesn't work, he says it won't reach the desk", confused and intrigued I took over the call.

Me: Hi there, you're speaking to Martin, I'm a supervisor here at Wanadoo, I understand you're having a problem with your modem.
Him: Yes, the lead isn't long enough it won't reach.
Me: ok is this the phone cable?
Him: No the USB cable, it won't reach onto the desk.
Me: So you have it plugged into the back of your PC?
Him: Yes
Me: You don't have to put the modem on the desk, it will work from the top of your PC or the floor.
Him: But how will I use it? I'll have to sit on the floor to use it, I need to use it on the desk.
Me: I'm not sure I follow, what are you trying to do with the modem that requires it to be on the desk.
Him: Oh, I think i'm an idiot... Sorry...
Me: Sorry sir?
Him: This Speedtouch thing you've sent me, the modem...
Me: Yes...
Him: Is it a new mouse, do I use it as a mouse.
Me: No, you can use your existing mouse...

lol to me, but maybe only funny if you're there.
Another one a little simpler, but I was really tired had been up all night if you know what I mean, and I was on the phone to a customer and literlly nodding off, you know when you drift off and your head drops. And I nodded off into half consciousness and kept on talking to the customer;

Customer: OK, I've done that...
Me: Right you need to put your username and password in the fields there...
Customer: OK
Me: What I need you to do now is reset the router *nods off sees a monkey dancing* and dance like a monkey *suddenly wakes up as I realised what i said*
*** 3 second pause***
Customer: DANCE LIKE A MONKEY *snigger*
- At this point I had no idea what to say, so I just continued as if nothing had happened, but I was now wide awake!
 
Skyfall said:
Customer: OK, I've done that...
Me: Right you need to put your username and password in the fields there...
Customer: OK
Me: What I need you to do now is reset the router *nods off sees a monkey dancing* and dance like a monkey *suddenly wakes up as I realised what i said*
*** 3 second pause***
Customer: DANCE LIKE A MONKEY *snigger*
- At this point I had no idea what to say, so I just continued as if nothing had happened, but I was now wide awake!
Click to expand...

You have some cool dreams :D

Burnsy
 
I am proud to say i just put 2 cd's in a drive accidentally..... neither of them had the data i wanted burnt onto it... and the cd drive sounded like a blender trying to blend concrete for about 5 minutes :D
 
Skyfall said:
Customer: OK, I've done that...
Me: Right you need to put your username and password in the fields there...
Customer: OK
Me: What I need you to do now is reset the router *nods off sees a monkey dancing* and dance like a monkey *suddenly wakes up as I realised what i said*
*** 3 second pause***
Customer: DANCE LIKE A MONKEY *snigger*
- At this point I had no idea what to say, so I just continued as if nothing had happened, but I was now wide awake!
Click to expand...

hahahaha brilliant that had me in stitches:D:p
 
Caller: Erm my PC won't boot into windows
Me: have you tried resetting it
Caller: Yes Several Times
Me: Ok I'll come and have a look
I get up to the Laptop in question can't get it to work and so I ask him what was he doing before it stopped working
Him: well I was clearing some space off of my C: Drive last night and I saw that the windows folder was taking up lots of room so I moved the folder to my P: Drive
Me:....
Him: Well whats the problem
Me: Well I'm not surprised windows won't work anymore because A you moved the windows file & B because of this perticular move Windows is no longer on the laptop period
Him: But you can still fix it for me right?
Me: yes but it'll take a few hours
Him: A few hours?!?!?!? Can't you just move the folder back
Me: *Facepalm*
 
But surely no-one can be that stupid as to move the windows folder? Really?

Actually the more I think about it the more possible it seems for someone to be that stupid.
 
I was under the impression you could not move the windows folder while you were actually using windows...
 
Got one today, someone gave me their PC stock reference number, started configuring their Outlook profile and mapping their network drives and all of a sudden i got dissconected.

Turns out i was connected to a councillors pc and nearly got reported. Stupid b*nt on the phone gave me an 8 instead of a B, after i double checked it 3 times as it wouldnt connect the first 2 times.
 
Me : Good morning this is the Computer Helpdesk
Her: I have a problem with my chair
Me : Ah! you need facilities then let me put you through
Her : No no, it's a computer chair.
 
HEADRAT said:
Me : Good morning this is the Computer Helpdesk
Her: I have a problem with my chair
Me : Ah! you need facilities then let me put you through
Her : No no, it's a computer chair.
Click to expand...

HAHA, thats quality.

Oh another one comes to mind, had someone once who used to take their Monitor home with them on the bus in a Plastic tesco bag, we didnt know until the 3rd time we called Dell to repair it :D
 
Me : Good morning helpdesk how can I help you
Him : Do you know I'm the most important person you'll ever speak to
Me : Mum is that you, your voice sounds funny!

<he didn't see the funny side, luckily everybody else thought it was hilarious>
 
Evangelion said:
Staff: Can I take your password please? (Their password is "dog".)
Customer: Don't know!
Staff [carries out alternative security checks until he's through to the customer's account...] OK, would you like to reset your password?
Customer: Yes, you better put it as "dog" so I remember!
Click to expand...

Literally roflled for about 5 mins at that
 
Had a customer phone up who just had a new system delivered. The guy was moaning because "the screen is damaged/has marks on it". We got someone to pop back out, knowing it was going to be something silly as it was fine before.

Turned out to be the shimmer/clouds on the default XP wallpaper :rolleyes:
 
Talking to Virgin Media: call centre in India
How can I help you please?

Hello, My phoneline has gone dead,
What is your phone number?

0152*******

Are you calling from that number now?

No, the phoneline is dead

How are you calling me?

I am using a different phone

Is that the same one that is faulty?

err no - I am using a phone at another house as mine is dead

Can you return home & check its not working? :rolleyes:
 
I had one today in the repair shop, guy calls up:

Caller: My laptop keeps telling me no hard drive found and operating system not found.
Me: Ok bring it in and we will have a look for you, could be a faulty hard drive

Called beings in the laptop and its a hp one with the laptop that pushes in under the touchpad and the hard drive was not in the laptop it had fallen out!

I laughed solid for around 10 mins then called him back to tell him :)
 
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