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Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
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Southampton
Evening peeps.

I've got bit of a dilemma that I'd like your opinion on!

I've been in a relationship with my current gf for 18 months now and it's never been easy going. I'm 32 and she'd 26, and we have a real love/hate relationship. We tend to argue over the pettiest of things and although we always make up in the end, these arguments can be pretty draining and have started getting me down.

As strange as it may sound I really do love her but don't like being around her sometimes. She's loud, brash, overly confident and bit of a drama queen. I'm the complete opposite and am quite quiet, sensible and so laid back I'm horizontal. Somehow we get on and make it work, a simple case of "opposites attract", but things are far from perfect.

We had a big falling out this morning at her parents and I ended up walking out and driving back to my parents (where I'm living at the moment to clear some debts). I've enjoyed not speaking to her today and having time to myself to do what I want for once. This evening I went down the pub with my mates, one of whom works as the captain of a mega-yacht and is going back out to sea this week, so we were giving him bit of a send off.

Several years ago this particular mate suggested I apply for a job they had going on his boat, basically supporting IT and entertainment systems on the boat as it cruises around the world. I was happily in a relationship at the time so kindly refused but have always regretted the decision as that particular relationship fizzled out.

Roll forward to tonight and he tells me he knows of a similar job going on another boat and wonders if I'm interested this time round. The terms are 3 months on 3 months off, paid for all 12 months of the year at a rate of €6000/month tax free. So basically I'd be getting paid €72000 a year to cruise around the world for 6 months..perfect!

I know for a fact that my current gf would never allow me to go off and do this job while I'm with her, so if I got it, it would mean ending things with her. The way I feel about the relationship at the moment this doesn't seem like a bad sacrifice to make!

Something is holding me back though and I don't know if it's this relationship or if I'm just scared of taking the huge leap into the unknown as I'm very much a creature of habit and have never done anything like this in my life before!

So what do you think, do I end the relationship and start on what could be an amazing (and very profitable) adventure?
 
Even ignoring the job offer you should break up with your GF. You can meet woman who you don't love/hate but just love. There are lots and lots of women who are not all of the negative things you put in your post.

Dump her and be awesome, whether that's on a ship or not.
 
I'd go for it to be honest. You're 32. You're still living at home with your parents. And you're shy. And you've got debts.

She makes you happy, you love her, but you can't stand being around her at times. If you take a 3 months break, if she loves you that much she will be faithful and there for you when you get back.

Travelling the world a bit might open you up. Seeing places, meeting new people etc. That 72k probably equates to about £65k a year as well. And you'll have plenty of time to spend it too with 6 months of the year off.
 
scratch said:
I know for a fact that my current gf would never allow me to go off and do this job while I'm with her
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It's a no brainer. Take the job.
 
If you end the relationship, how likely are you to find something better or similar?

It sounds to me like you're drowning in eachother's company and need a bit of time apart to remember what it is that drew you together in the first place.

The thing holding you back is anxiety of the unknown. To me, it seems like you've already made your mind-up about the relationship anyway and you're just slowly trying to justify it in your head.

The only advice you need is to speak to her. Decide what you want first then speak to her.
 
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I do understand where you're coming from, but at the end of the day if you don't get on to that degree God help you. What would you do with children involved? "Sorry kids, Mum's on one today and we're going to have a huge argument for the next week. Again."? :p

Sounds like this job's a no brainer, and you're just asking for 'permission' to me. If she cares that much she'll be here when you get back - all the richer (and nicer) for it? £60k+ TAX FREE is bloody good going for six month's work followed by an equal length holiday. :D
 
The truth is you'll get that with most relationships unless you find a girl who's reserved and/or somewhat submissive. It might be time for self-reflection.

Understand game and how to be in control. The whole Alpha/Beta traits come into play. You sound quiet beta. There's nothing wrong with that a few tweaks here and there you'll realise the arguing and bitching will drop. Might be of benefit: http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/2010/01/little-more-on-alpha-and-beta-male.html

Hate to be obvious here but try talking to her. If she's unable to be reasonable with you. Ask yourself, is she worth it?

No one can can answer this but you.
 
Is your dilemma how many swimming trunks to pack or what factor sun cream you need ?
 
If i were you i would talk to her about how you feel, say that some time apart could be good for you and you're not completely happy at the moment.
 
DarkShadow said:
The truth is you'll get that with most relationships unless you find a girl who's reserved and/or somewhat submissive. It might be time for self-reflection.
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This is simply not true.

Understand game and how to be in control. The whole Alpha/Beta traits come into play. You sound quiet beta. There's nothing wrong with that a few tweaks here and there you'll realise the arguing and bitching will drop. Might be of benefit: http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/2010/01/little-more-on-alpha-and-beta-male.html
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Oh, I see. You're one of those.

Hate to be obvious here but try talking to her. If she's unable to be reasonable with you. Ask yourself, is she worth it?

No one can can answer this but you.
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Here I agree with you.
 
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lol wut? Your girlfriend won't 'allow' you?

It sounds like 3 months away from her is exactly what you need.
 
I really wouldn't be making any hasty decisions when you have had a recent argument with your partner. Will you feel the same next week? What about next month? What about next year?

I'd make up and continue to mull on it until you can be sure.
 
6000 euro a month? just tell her going your going weather she likes it or not, if you say this she wont dump you, in fact shell probably want to be with you more! ;)
 
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