Yup, exactly, always been that way for me, though I'd go one step further, I laughed at people back when FEAR 1 came out and they insisted on killing their performance and their experience by turning soft shadows on. Good attempt, they tried to move graphics forward but it looked awful, less realistic and killed performance.
So on top of what you said, I won't use settings beyond where I can see the difference, I also won't randomly turn on every single "ultra" setting, just because its deemed the top setting, if in reality it is actually reducing IQ, quite a lot of games have top end settings that actually reduce IQ while also reducing performance.
Motion blur on many games is a joke, DOF on many games just makes it unrealistic, though some games do DOF very well.