I've ruined my relationship by sleeping with someone else.

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basmic said:
Assuming your gay here - which, from the above, is a safe assumption.

Being gay myself, I know how rare and hard a gay relationship can be. I suppose if you do plenty of grovelling, he might give you another chance - but the chances of this, are bloody slim TBH.

Sort things out with the other half. If he doesn't want to be with you, then accept it - there's nothing worse than a forced relationship! If he does want to be with you, I'd treat him like royalty for the next few months.

Either way, I feel it is important you emphasise why you did what you did. If I were you, I wouldn't even try using the booze as an excuse though.

After you've split or made up, it would then be a good time to see a counsellor - either yourself, or you and the OH. Me and the OH had a rough patch, and found seeling a counsellor at Relate helped us a lot - probably more than we both realise.

Get the booze problem out the way, stop pretending to be somebody you're not.
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thank you. I am struggling to answer any question as to why I did it. I have lived quite a sheltered strict upbringing involving a controlling sect and not that it's an excuse by any means, am socially not right.

The drink has to go.
 
I suggest you grovel for a very long period of time. Stop drinking and seriously think about what you've just done, poor girl is probably distraught.

How long have you been seeing each other, if you don't mind me asking?
 
platypus said:
As opposed to heterosexual relationships, which are always so easy and la-di-dah.
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I've established that gay relationships are harder than straight ones.

We can't have kids - usually a biggy, and the gay person might suddenly turn bisexual for a few years. I've seen it before - they lead a straight life, have a kid or two, live with the missus and kids for 10-20 years, and they suddenly turn gay.

I feel homophobia plays a part in making gay relationships hard too. Sometimes the amount of pressure we get, unsettles things.

Then there's monogamy. Gay men usually spread their oats a fair bit, before commiting to a relationship. Depending on your partner, this may make them feel jealous.
 
platypus said:
As opposed to heterosexual relationships, which are always so easy and la-di-dah.
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Neither are easy, but I can understand that a homosexual relationship can be quite a bit harder considering the fact that it's less widely accepted.

My opinion is that if you're taking so much medication, then you're stupid to drink large amounts, especially if you know what affect it has on you. If you continue to ignore this then you're just to continue to get into trouble one way or another.
 
basmic said:
I've established that gay relationships are harder than straight ones.

We can't have kids - usually a biggy, and the gay person might suddenly turn bisexual for a few years. I've seen it before - they lead a straight life, have a kid or two, live with the missus and kids for 10-20 years, and they suddenly turn gay.

I feel homophobia plays a part in making gay relationships hard too. Sometimes the amount of pressure we get, unsettles things.

Then there's monogamy. Gay men usually spread their oats a fair bit, before commiting to a relationship. Depending on your partner, this may make them feel jealous.
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So gay men are generally confused, untrustworthy and unfaithful?

I feel this may play a large part in people’s homophobia and dislike of gays.
 
basmic said:
I've established that gay relationships are harder than straight ones.

a, We can't have kids - usually a biggy, and the gay person might suddenly turn bisexual for a few years.

b, I've seen it before - they lead a straight life, have a kid or two, live with the missus and kids for 10-20 years, and they suddenly turn gay.

c, I feel homophobia plays a part in making gay relationships hard too. Sometimes the amount of pressure we get, unsettles things.

d, Then there's monogamy. Gay men usually spread their oats a fair bit, before commiting to a relationship. Depending on your partner, this may make them feel jealous.
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Grass, greener, otherside... springs to mind.

so, say if a,b or d happened in a straight relationship it would just be "cool" and not as difficult as if it was one of your relationships?! LOL.
 
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