Why do I Screw Myself Over?
- Thread starter D.P.
- Start date
Thats fine if you know her well.
This is just a passing crush, and a self-gloating analysis of myself.
Associate
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- london
my advice.... get a dog, you can shout at it, kick it, play with it, it will be forever faithfull and wont complain..... then for the physical pay a hooker...... you will be a whole lot better of as although 70 quid for 10 mins jiggy seems a lot of money for not a lot of gain it will be cheeper in the long run!
and one other thing to remember, no matter how good she looks someone somwhere is fed up with putting up with her sh ite!
and one other thing to remember, no matter how good she looks someone somwhere is fed up with putting up with her sh ite!
I agree with that. Its kinda obvious hrmm but....
Ask yourself how does anyone get confident? If he's getting knock-back after knock-back after knock-back his "confidence" will take a battering.
You dont just say "its all about confidence" because thats the easy part. Its easy to say "just be confident" but harder in practice because you must have something on which that is based.
So saying that looks, money and and intelligence have nothing to do with confidence is wrong and misleading bud. Its often these type of things which give confidence. Confidence isnt just generated out of nothing.
Being confident in yourself is being comfortable in your own body, your abilities and who you are and taking advantage of these; basically making the most of what youve got...be it looks, intelligence, whatever...
I really like her but don't know her too well. This thread is a just reflection on my inner self.
I'm not asking for advice on what to do with this girl. Tis isn't relationship thread per se. I just seem to be in this situation too often and wanted to know if it was common.
Soldato
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I disagree on all of your points, but not in principle. Why must confidence be based on something? I firmly believe it is just generated out of nothing.
I believe people need to be proactive about their life. Get up one morning and say, 'right, I'm fed up of this, so I'm going to change it' and then guess what, go out there to the world and bloody well change it. I've just read that the OP has two people that he can phone up and arrange dates with...why hasn't he done it already?
I tell you something, when I approach a girl (which isn't very often I must add as I generally meet people through friends) I am bricking it. Would they know? No they would not. It is the perception of confidence by others which makes one confident - irrespective of what is actually felt inside. If you give the impression that you're confident, then you will gain the reputation of being the confident one, and thus will get forced into good situations.
Imagine the scenario; at the pub, with some friends, a beautiful girl walks in and a discussion between you and your friends begins.
If you're the confident one your friends will say 'Go on mate, you can get her, get in my son, etc' - do you know why they say that? Because they're too scared to do it themselves so are living vicariously through you.
If you're the quiet one, you will be the one saying to your friend to go get her.
Make the choice. I get sick and tired of people on these forums (and in life as well) who moan about their situation but do bugger all to change it.
Not totally true.
In my case, im the quiet one and as such my mates know this so they will encourage me to try and pull a girl. The reason they do this is:
1) Want a laugh. I suck so badly with girls, which creates a good laugh.
2) Builds my confidence up knowing it couldn't be as bad as last time.
Though i've never had a gf, so i haven't felt love yet.
Not totally true.
In my case, im the quiet one and as such my mates know this so they will encourage me to try and pull a girl. The reason they do this is:
1) Want a laugh. I suck so badly with girls, which creates a good laugh.
2) Builds my confidence up knowing it couldn't be as bad as last time.
Though i've never had a gf, so i haven't felt love yet.
OK, sorry, I didn't just mean the quiet one, more the one who the group knows 'would never even bother' as they lack confidence so much. It's OK being 'quiet', but being socially withdrawn is different if you know what I mean!
Just as an aside...
I didn't go skiing with the girl in the OP and instead I sat in front of my computer stairing at webcams contemplating my exisistence as I computed fourier transforms, compiled linux kernals and transformed a euler-vector rotation into a quaternion.
With the second girl I talked about in this thread, well she didn't answer her phone/messages even although we were supposed to go out tonight to a party.
At said party I got stalked by some fat unattractive whinning brat from Iowa and her alter ego alternative from Idaho. She cornered me and stole my phone number, assurring me that "We sooo have to go for coffee next week." So, we happen to share a preference for monty python and airplane and that signifies we are soul mates, I beleive. Bahhhhh humbuggg. Despite my best attempts to pull her hot friend from Berne and another girl form Thun, while tunning out all she was saying, she didn't seem to get the hint that I was just beinig friendly towards her and that I just so happen not to dislike americans... athough exceptions are made. I don't think I have the heart not to accept coffee with her if she initiates her devious scheme.
But crap, why can't the girls I like live in the same country or town as me???
I didn't go skiing with the girl in the OP and instead I sat in front of my computer stairing at webcams contemplating my exisistence as I computed fourier transforms, compiled linux kernals and transformed a euler-vector rotation into a quaternion.
With the second girl I talked about in this thread, well she didn't answer her phone/messages even although we were supposed to go out tonight to a party.
At said party I got stalked by some fat unattractive whinning brat from Iowa and her alter ego alternative from Idaho. She cornered me and stole my phone number, assurring me that "We sooo have to go for coffee next week." So, we happen to share a preference for monty python and airplane and that signifies we are soul mates, I beleive. Bahhhhh humbuggg. Despite my best attempts to pull her hot friend from Berne and another girl form Thun, while tunning out all she was saying, she didn't seem to get the hint that I was just beinig friendly towards her and that I just so happen not to dislike americans... athough exceptions are made. I don't think I have the heart not to accept coffee with her if she initiates her devious scheme.
But crap, why can't the girls I like live in the same country or town as me???
I've had this a few times from friends, and I always tell them it won't happen, and tell them to go try it. They never do, surprisingly! My problem is, physical attraction isn't all that important to me. If you're out in a club, girls will instantly go for good looking guys, and vice versa. I'd like to talk to someone who may share the same interests as me, or makes me smile, or is generally fun to be around.
There's currently someone I like, but she's such a friendly, outgoing, fun person, it's hard to NOT like her, and I can see how someone could fall for her easily. But, I can't shake her out of my head, although I know the chances are nothing's going to happen
girls in clubs might go for the most attractive guys sometimes, but you cant stereotype them tbh. Talk to them and be yourself, they might really like you because of being genuine and funny etc.. i dont get it with some of you people, you just roll over and die?
Talkin to girls makes you friends, girls have lots of female friends. They also influence each other easily, abuse this weakness.
Talkin to girls makes you friends, girls have lots of female friends. They also influence each other easily, abuse this weakness.
I've had a lot of psychological screw-ups in the past, building confidence when you're 100ft below the starting point is very difficult
Soldato
- Joined
- 2 Nov 2004
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Sounds like a FAILure. Should've gone skiing
Can't win them all...
AVOID!
How long have you been in Lausanne? I slept there once, in the station. Freight trains go through that place like the voice of the gods.