Now after the clear lack of taste Mr Azza has shown us let me share my dinner.
Now i have no camera so you'll have to imagine/be inspired by the pics from around the web.
Purchase a light snack/something to keep you going while you cook.
And in hopes you can find a nice slave girl to feed you any left over in the coming week.
Choose a suitable beverage..
X2 one for while cooking, and one to enjoy with your meal.
Then go to the local tescos...
And get your elf some standard smoked back bacon, (to be accompanied by/cooked in the fat of, the remainder of real butchers good quality streaky smoked bacon.)
Some...
a few...
A bit of extra mature welsh cheddar,
A spot of fine welsh goats cheese...
And of course...
baked beans and toast
Now, fry the sausage turning regularly, then add the chopped up bacon, while placing beans in a bowl, and adding small chunks of cheese.
When sausage and bacon is nearing completion put on the toast, and cheesy beans in the microwave, place bacon and sausage on a plate and drop in 2 of your eggs, fry to your taste, while chopping 2 of your sausage, and mixing with more cheese and the bacon, and 1 round of toast into the beans, then replacing in micro wave.
Remove egg and place on plate, remove cheesy bean concoction, run hands under cold water and hope the burns heal, place remaining toast on plate, along with a few slices of goats cheese, and some grapes.
open second spekled hen, and retire to your place of eating.