Would you want a girl you'd been seeing for 3 months to stay...

Col_M · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:20

I'm bringing my gf home with me for xmas, I wouldn't dream of doing otherwise even to a friend.

If your parents don't know about her then give them a call and say you're going to bring her over and is it ok with them, I don't know your parents of course but I'd wager that they'd be ok with it as would most parents.

Bar · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:24

Bes said:
Oh come on you can't blame me for not mentioning it if I'm never there- should I be calling up like some excited schoolgirl excitedly screaming that I had a GF the minute we got together? I don't ring my mother every time some event occurs in my life.

Thats twisting what I said.

I was referring to the fact that you were also feeling uncomfortable about the situation as you had never mentioned her to your parents.

How hard is it to go "Hi mum, by the way I am seeing someone at the moment and I am planning on leaving her on her own in a foreign city away from her parents and family. Would you mind if she stayed with us over the Christmas holidays?"

platypus · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:24

Fire Wizard said:
Indeed, it must be horrible to be on your own during Christmas.

Not really, I've spent the last few Christmases alone and will be doing so again this year. It's just another day in the calendar. I can speak to my family on the phone, why the need to be with someone?

Dolph said:
I'm a firm believer that people shouldn't be alone at christmas.

Why?

Bes · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:27

platypus said:
Not really, I've spent the last few Christmases alone and will be doing so again this year. It's just another day in the calendar. I can speak to my family on the phone, why the need to be with someone?

See I think there are two types of people posting on this thread- ones like me who wouldn't really care if they were alone at Christmas- it's only another day!

There are also those who really need to be somewhere/ with someone and I can't really understand why these people make such a big deal out of it.

Meh I guess that's where me and her differ.

Breeze · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:29

She can come round mine for christmas

Vita · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:30

Aww, poor girl let her come with you. No-one should be alone on Christmas, pfft she could maybe go get with someone else over that time, and you might not even know.

Have a heart, let her come with you. Three Months, seeing someone everyday is quite a lot. But if you want to be away, why be with her in the first place?

Bes · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:32

Probably because I am an ******** and stringing her along in Madrid (if you believe this thread).

Fire Wizard · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:32

Tute said:
So it's not just Vista you provide good advice for! 'Fire Wizard - Relationship Councellor!'

Hahaha Tute.

platypus said:
Not really, I've spent the last few Christmases alone and will be doing so again this year. It's just another day in the calendar. I can speak to my family on the phone, why the need to be with someone?

Hey platypus, that's fair enough. Everyone has different views on this and personally I wouldn't like to spend Christmas on my own.

Gaijin · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:33

platypus said:
Not really, I've spent the last few Christmases alone and will be doing so again this year. It's just another day in the calendar. I can speak to my family on the phone, why the need to be with someone?

Agreed. You could gain at least 10 ranks in Call of Duty 4 on Christmas Day if you didn't have all the family bumflufferies.

Vita · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:35

Bes said:
Probably because I am an ******** and stringing her along in Madrid (if you believe this thread).

Nah, don't think you're an ******** judging by the thread. I know there's probably a lot more then you're telling us tbh.

But if you are stringing her a lot, isn't a nice thing todo. Wouldn't like it done to you, no?

Put yourself in her shoes, alone, new city, no friends/family (if that's the case), she'll probably feel more lonley then she ever has. That's when you come in, spend some time let her get to know your' family abit, then from there you can spend the 'away' time if you really need to.

@platypus, you're never alone, WE ARE HERE

camels5 · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:35

Mr_White said:
I think she should find a new boyfriend.

Quoted for the truth.

You are just using her to keep you company while you're working there. Thats just nasty. Let her go so she finds someone who will appreciate her.

Majago · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:36

I can see where Bes is coming from. He just wants a bit of time to himself - in any relationship if the 2 of you are together 24/7 then someone will end up feeling 'suffocated', it's only natural to want a bit of time to yourself. Leaving her alone over Christmas may not be ideal but as others have said, it's a family time and I don't see much wrong with the OP wanting to spend time alone with them.

He said himself that he doesn't see the relationship going anywhere long term and entertaining the girl over Christmas will just put added pressure on both the OP and his family. There is also the chance that the GF and the family won't get on which wouldn't be great either.

Murf · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:39

If you want some time to yourself why not take some after Christmas? Why couldn't you have taken some already? You've just specifically chosen Christmas to leave her on her own. Awesome job.

Bes · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:39

I'm sure they would get on as my family are generally fairly accommodating and she is pretty easygoing most of the time too... It's just I was looking forward to just having some breathing space on my own.

Going to talk to her now and might ask her to come over as I do feel bad about it.

Secret_Window · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:39

Whoa, 4 pages already.

Stelly · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:40

Erm, Physco... really... wants to stay with your rents after 3 months!

Stelly

Bes · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:40

Murf said:
If you want some time to yourself why not take some after Christmas? Why couldn't you have taken some already? You've just specifically chosen Christmas to leave her on her own. Awesome job.

Because of WORK!

I have been working until the 17th (In Madrid), get 2 weeks to myself, then am back working on the 2nd Jan including bombing off to the ends of the earth for a week at a time... It's mentally draining, and I was just looking forward to a couple of weeks by myself where I didn't have to keep someone else entertained.

Majago · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:41

Bes said:
Going to talk to her now and might ask her to come over as I do feel bad about it.

Don't invite her just because you feel guilty, ask her over if you really want her there with you on the day.

You may feel bad about not inviting her but at the end of the day you've got to do what's going to make you feel happiest esp. if you aren't that serious about being with her.

platypus · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:41

Fire Wizard said:
Hey platypus, that's fair enough. Everyone has different views on this and personally I wouldn't like to spend Christmas on my own.

Admittedly this Christmas is only through my situation - my girlfriend is going home to France to see her family, and it's a large extended French/English family, and she thinks it'll be overwhelming for me - which it will. So we agreed I wouldn't go. It kinda sucks because I'd like to spend the time with her, but she knows me well enough to know that I wouldn't cope well with a lot of people (I speak decent French but would be screwed in that situation!), so we'll speak on the phone over the week.

Last few years I've been alone in Cambridge and I've seen friends around the Christmas week, but the day has always been alone. I usually get quite a few invites, but I'd feel like I was imposing, so have always declined. It's a time to be with nearest and dearest family, and I don't feel like getting in the way.

Of course I can understand and appreciate why people don't want to be alone, but for me it's not an issue. This year I'll be rowing to Ely with a bottle of 1972 Bordeaux in the boat

.

Bes · 19 Dec 2007 at 11:43

Exactly, I would never dream of spending Christmas with another family unless it was either extended family or a GF's who I had been with for a long time (and already knew her family well), I'd just feel like I was imposing.