Dating - why must it be so hard...

BlastRadius said:
Strangely the best way to attract attention from the fairer sex has always been when I am with a girl already; therfor the easiest way to get a girl is to have one already :p
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This is annoyingly true.

To the girls: Why do you always seem to want men that aren't single!
 
Lanz said:
This is true, I hired a full time escort to pretend to be my girlfriend for about 2 years before I found a proper one. If you cant afford that, maybe invest in one of those Real Dolls (tm)



Only 8 months?? Jesus, I spent from about ages 17 to 21 looking for a shag without much luck. You got a long way to go yet mate - you think you're desprate now... give it a couple more years.
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Are you joking? :confused:

Go out more and stop using dating websites. There's a reason these girls are using them, and it's probably not because they don't have time to look for suitable guys. ;)
 
Blackstar said:
I don't know, maybe because single men are single for a reason :p
Being single isn't that bad, i've been single since September and i'm still enjoying it.
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Well it's annoying. There's quite a few women I'd want to at least romp around in the hay with that only ever seem to want me when I'm in a relationship. My last girlfriend couldn't handle it (and I subsequently couldn't handle her jealousy - even though I didn't and would never cheat), and it was just one of many reasons we broke up.

Current girlfriend gets annoyed by it, but she seems to realise I like her.

And no, nothing wrong with being single :).
 
Fraggr said:
Are you joking? :confused:

Go out more and stop using dating websites. There's a reason these girls are using them, and it's probably not because they don't have time to look for suitable guys. ;)
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Why would he be? I was 21 when I got my first girlfriend, 23 now and we've split up over a year ago, she's still obsessed with me and sent my a V-Day card.

I ignored it ofcourse, crazy as a cuckoo's nest!

However I don't have time for a relationship as serious as that anymore, nor am I actively looking for anyone, if something happens, it'll happen.

So, any takers? ;)
 
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iv-tecman said:
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i know exactly what you mean.

i've done the whole online thing, but the last 2 poeple i have got to know really well, have just kinda dissapeared and stopped talking to me.

one even sat there telling me she wants to be with me, but wants to take things slow which i exactly what i wawnted.now i havent heard from her in 4 days, now theres slow and there reverse, and this one is currently in reverse.

i dont go looking for a relationship, but i tend to like the people i cant have lol.

dont aim to find people, but i always seem to end up talking to certain ladies that i start to really like, just havent found one to get into a relatinship with yet. but end of the day im not activly looking for that, if it comes around then ideal :)
 
i wouldnt say "stop trying" at all. Just dont try so hard..

If you didnt try at all... before you know it youll be 60 and still single dude... but you'll still be muttering to yourself "one day i'll meet my true love one day...." :D

Unfortunately i think nowadays we are more demanding, selfish maybe, and its too easy to just be rude to people (technology sortof lets us and we become lazy). A Relationship requires effort and some folk maybe dont want to put in the effort as its not worth it.
 
iv-tecman said:
Amazingly one girl managed to put on 100lbs from what her profile had told me
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Internet dating, the holy grail for people to be what they would like to think they are instead what they really are, or a haven for liars:D.

Try leaving the desk taking a shower putting on some nice threads and going out, it works wonders.
 
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Well, the replies have lifted my spirits. Must agree, to just give up would mean I'd perhaps just be single for the rest of my life.. :eek:

I was using match.com. After 8 months, I've pretty much spoken to, attempted to speak to, or dated or been stood up by half the members on there... and now all I see are the same faces everytime I log in..!!

Time to get out more. Sadly, not too many friends that I can hang out with, as they are all coupled off... Its like Six Of One, A Half Dozen Of The Other at times... Online dating or going out, either way I'm not doing too well.
 
iv-tecman said:
Time to get out more. Sadly, not too many friends that I can hang out with, as they are all coupled off... Its like Six Of One, A Half Dozen Of The Other at times... Online dating or going out, either way I'm not doing too well.
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It might or might not help but a fairly obvious way to widen your social circle is to join up with a sports club or some sort of group based on shared interests - use a bit of discretion if you are really just trying to meet the opposite sex, while I don't want to unfairly label hobbies I've got my suspicions that Trainspotters Anonymous is not going to be packed out with attractive young women.

Blackstar said:
I don't know, maybe because single men are single for a reason :p
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Or because people often want what they shouldn't have. :p
 
Go out on the lash, pull random birds and sleep with them.

If they look fit in the morning, get their number and call them back.

That way the ice is well and truly broken, you both know whether you're any good in the sack - then you know whether to bother to actually get to know them better :p

Ker-ching :D

Single going on 3 years now...still far too many fish in the sea to sample before settling down for good :p

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Don't worry if you're friends are boring - rock into a decent bar and strike up conversation with the barstaff - instant social proofing plus they're always a good laugh, and you can chat to other people when they come up to order drinks - you can bemoan the fact that all your mates are shackled up with birds but you don't let that stop you from having a cracking night out :D
 
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OP, post up a photo so we can assess if the problems lie in the "looks" department (not saying there is, but maybe people can help, i dunno!)
 
Not the best picture as its the only one I've got loaded in my online picture storage.

I've got much darker hair then it shows, and its normally a bit more spiked up when I go on a date or go out. I do wear glasses, as well as contacts. Never turned up for a date wearing shades, unless its sunshine, but I take them off when inside or sat at a table etc...

ynny5w.jpg


I've had a lot of comments saying I'm not too bad looking - from girls and not my mom...:D:p My teeth are always clean, fresh breath, white and even though I'm not smiling in this picture I do smile a lot - very camera shy..

I'm not overweight, 6.4 tall. I weigh 12.5 stone, do not smoke, drink but not over the top..... I do regular exercise, eat healthy, not picky with my food and I honestly do not believe its me with the problem..!!

Others, please do not Photoshop.!! lol Hope no one I work with sees this.. Erm, hmm... the shame of it all.!!! :eek::p
 
I think there's potential on the online dating issue.

As far as women who fancy blokes in a relationship it breaks down like this:

1) You're already trained in aspects of relationships and won't need much to adjust to a new woman.
2) You're comfortable around women because you're not desperately after anything.
3) You can throw compliments about hair, dresses and shoes around because you know about it from your current relationships. (girls like you to notice something about them)
4) You know what makes them laugh.
5) If your girl buys you clothes, you gradually end up looking like how a girl would like a man to look/dress.

I would personally find another dating site and keep dating, playing it a bit cooler.

Do an evening course for the social aspect. There was a hot female on a basic mechanics course I did last December. Maybe choose a female orientated course such as Yoga, Massage or Reflexology.

Last of all, don't procrastinate and miss opportunities. That girl you made eye contact with in the supermarket, a girl at the gym etc. Go get 'em tiger!
 
I'm in the same boat as you, I have serious confidence issues because of a few previous events in life

I'm working on it, and things are improving especially since I've been to uni, but I still am a total wimp when it comes to meeting girls in clubs etc :(
 
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