Ive only got 2 real friends and i dont want to bother them really, i thionk theyre fed up of me crying on thier shoulder already
If they are friends, they will be there for you.
Please tell me im being stupid
- Thread starter MeatLoaf
- Start date
If they are friends, they will be there for you.
^^ You're hugging your screen aren't you
Made me smile, keep watching the clock as well i think i just want this day to end
Hopefully by this time tomorrow i will be wondering what all the fuss was about
Thing is if she dosent come back i just cant see anybody else wanting me. Ive had very few girlfriends and my first wasnt until i was 25
Youre right but they had all the crying and upset last time. They advised me not to get back with her last time and the last thing i want to hear is i told you so
Made me smile, keep watching the clock as well i think i just want this day to end
Hopefully by this time tomorrow i will be wondering what all the fuss was about
Thing is if she dosent come back i just cant see anybody else wanting me. Ive had very few girlfriends and my first wasnt until i was 25
It's hard to give advice at this point, but you really need to find something to do to take your mind off this as much as possible.
It was only yesterday that I was in this position with my girlfriend, the only thing is that as we haven't been together that long (and the fact I already have problems trusting girlfriends) I got really worried when the missus wouldn't text me back, answer her phone or even talk to me. She had been out Saturday night drinking, without me, and a friend said that she was with another older bloke. Me being male, I thought the very worse. When she eventually spoke to me I found that she had been in bed ill with a cold all day and that the bloke she was with was her friends dad who came to pick them up. When she saw me today first thing she did was slap me for being an idiot (my fault) then gave me a hug and a kiss and said that she would never do that to me.
I can only hope that this is how your wife returns, well minus the slap of course.
Side note: My girlfriend is also called Kez, lol. Maybe they are more temper-mental than most girls
Yeah, it will be hard. Friends will stand by you whatever you do.
Time is also good, her hormones are probably playing a big part as she is 24 Weeks pregnant.
I've had a similar experience a few years ago.
Nothing any of us can say will resolve your situation, but just remember life goes on.
I really thought my world had collasped - long story - about 8 years ago.
However, I'm still here and I'm pleased about that.
It may be a cliche but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
As mentioned previously your true friends will be there for you. We all make mistakes and accepting those is part of being a true friend.
I'm sure all here on OCUK forums are saddned to hear about this, but only time will show how this situation will ultimately map out.
My thoughts are with you.
There are a lot of good listeners here...should you need us.
Keep strong.
Nothing any of us can say will resolve your situation, but just remember life goes on.
I really thought my world had collasped - long story - about 8 years ago.
However, I'm still here and I'm pleased about that.
It may be a cliche but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
As mentioned previously your true friends will be there for you. We all make mistakes and accepting those is part of being a true friend.
I'm sure all here on OCUK forums are saddned to hear about this, but only time will show how this situation will ultimately map out.
My thoughts are with you.
There are a lot of good listeners here...should you need us.
Keep strong.
Thing is if she dosent come back i just cant see anybody else wanting me. Ive had very few girlfriends and my first wasnt until i was 25
Come to america and ill get you an upgrade.
Soldato
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- Frack off, nosey
Hey, if my friend asks my opinion, I'll tell them. Advice is just that - advice, it's totally up to them what they do. If they don't take my advice I'll still support them if it all comes crashing down. Anyone who says 'I told you so' isn't a friend - friends don't use a friend's misery to prove themselves right. In your situation, a friend should do their best to accept and support your decision, even if they don't agree with it.
Soldato
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My monitor is really hot. I never realised.^^ You're hugging your screen aren't you
Chin up, MeatLoaf. As you trust your wife, all you can do is accept that she will be back when she says she will. After all, if she was going to sneak out, she'd do it when you were at work, not at home all week, right?
Concentrate on the things that you can change, not the things that rely on other people. Maybe you should do some gardening, go for a walk, listen to some music (non-emo!), tidy the house (to better than normal man-standards) for when she gets back....or plan something for your anniversary.
And don't ask for any more hugs, please, one of my cheeks is all red and blotchy (NO, not those cheeks!).
Well my mates rung me and im going thiers to watch Jackass 2. Should make me smile for a few hours. And my free mins start at 7.30 so i can give kez a ring and hopefully speak to the kids.
Shes said she loves this house and its location so im assuming she wont be wating to leave it.
Just smiling about the last argument we had last night. I had a moan because she had used all the cheese and i had none for my oatcakes
Shes said she loves this house and its location so im assuming she wont be wating to leave it.
Just smiling about the last argument we had last night. I had a moan because she had used all the cheese and i had none for my oatcakes
Associate
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mmm, cheese and oatcakes......not had that for ages. Can't believe she stole all your cheese!!
Must admit can't be the easiest thing that you're going through at the mo, especially having kids in the equation as well.
My advice, and again, I'm no expert, is don't hassle her/be needy, but just go along with things. You could have everything in your head, and come tomorrow all will be fine!
Good luck!
Must admit can't be the easiest thing that you're going through at the mo, especially having kids in the equation as well.
My advice, and again, I'm no expert, is don't hassle her/be needy, but just go along with things. You could have everything in your head, and come tomorrow all will be fine!
Good luck!
Reading your post meatloaf, and I can honestly say I am truly touched and I hope everything works out ok. Hope you have fun at your mates house with jonnys big red rocket
Aero
LOL that was quite funny, i wouldnt do that program for anyone, especially drinking horse doings and eating cow pats
Anyway, an update as she spoke to me tonight and we had a proper converation so i had a decent idea of whats up
She says we make each other unhappy mainly saying that she makes me unhappy because our sex life is virtually zero. I told her i understand and its to be expected in her condition. Its not an issue for me, but yeah i do say if she feels up to it mite my luck be in. And apparently it makes her unhappy that she cant please me, but really im not fussed, just to hold her is enough for me
She says the kids wear her out and it makes her miserable which they do, i try and lie with them to get them to sleep and they just cry for thier mum.
She did say i make her unhappy because i moan that she smokes and she has to go outside. Well shes always gone outside, mainly becuase she dosent want the kids exposed to it. But take the cheese incident, if she wants to make me a sandwich or cut some cheese for herself, the forst thing i say is have you washed your hands. Not to be nasty, just for hygiene.
She made a point about me not liking her family, well i dont its true, her mums a posionous person who at this moment is probably rubbing her hands with glee. Her mums been married and divorced 3 times, so to kerry its a normal thing shes grown up round.
Maybe shes just growing up, she was young when we met, she was 16 i was 25 so maybe the age difference is taking its toll. I was 32 last week and she will be 23 on our anniversary, yup i married her on her 18th birthday, romantic i thought
She says she dosent want to come home and regret it afterwards, but she did admit that she loves me and she knows i love her.
Shes asked if id moan if she takes a few weeks at her mums to sort her head out, but this has happened before, she gets comfy with her mum doing most things for her and gets used to it, and that means she just wont come home.
I dont think its fair on the kids, theyd have to go to a new school and leave thier friends behind and theyd miss me like crazy
I have to think that id draw a line under this if she dosent come back and move on on be the best father i can for my kids.
Finances are the problem. I only work part time and get about £60 a week. That dosent cover the rent let alone child maintainance for 3, soon to be 4 kids and it really dosent help me thinking that i'll be ok. And if she was gone for a couple of weeks that would be 2 weeks behind on all the bills so we'd have even less spare cash when she comes back as we'd have to catch up on the bills we have missed, especially the rent/council tax
Shes said to ring her in the morning so there is still hope but its fading very fast
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All the hours there is at the moment, it was either accept reduced hours or not work at all
Can I give you some advice on the situation with getting the kids to sleep, and believe me I do this for a living so I know however harsh it sounds it needs to be doing.
They need to learn to get themselves to sleep, not have Mummy lying there with them, and as its Mum they are used to having get them off to sleep, then you are the perfect one to be able to do this.
When its bedtime, spend the half hour before bed doing something relaxing or quiet, not winding them up so theyre hyper when they need to sleep. Maybe sit there reading a book, make sure your wife is downstairs with her feet up so they cant see her.
Then you say "its time to go to bed now" and you tuck them in and leave (maybe get a nightlight so they arent on their own in the dark) and when they start crying try your very hardest to ignore it. They know that crying gets them what they want, hence why they do it.
If they get out of bed, pick them up, tell them its bedtime and calmly put them back. You might have to do this a lot of times, and there will be tears, but eventually they will get the hint and go to bed. It might take a week or two of crying, but like I said they need to learn to get themselves to sleep and at the moment your wife is just taking the easy way out by lying in bed with them but not really solving the problem. And the reason ive said for you to do it, is partly so she gets a rest (dont let her come up and help!) and also because they associate bedtime with her, and therefore if they see her, they will think they are getting a cuddle to sleep again.
Please dont take this as an attack on either of you, but as I said I do this for a living and kids are crafty little devils. Eventually it means they will just go to bed, with no fuss and you and the wife get your evenings together.
They need to learn to get themselves to sleep, not have Mummy lying there with them, and as its Mum they are used to having get them off to sleep, then you are the perfect one to be able to do this.
When its bedtime, spend the half hour before bed doing something relaxing or quiet, not winding them up so theyre hyper when they need to sleep. Maybe sit there reading a book, make sure your wife is downstairs with her feet up so they cant see her.
Then you say "its time to go to bed now" and you tuck them in and leave (maybe get a nightlight so they arent on their own in the dark) and when they start crying try your very hardest to ignore it. They know that crying gets them what they want, hence why they do it.
If they get out of bed, pick them up, tell them its bedtime and calmly put them back. You might have to do this a lot of times, and there will be tears, but eventually they will get the hint and go to bed. It might take a week or two of crying, but like I said they need to learn to get themselves to sleep and at the moment your wife is just taking the easy way out by lying in bed with them but not really solving the problem. And the reason ive said for you to do it, is partly so she gets a rest (dont let her come up and help!) and also because they associate bedtime with her, and therefore if they see her, they will think they are getting a cuddle to sleep again.
Please dont take this as an attack on either of you, but as I said I do this for a living and kids are crafty little devils. Eventually it means they will just go to bed, with no fuss and you and the wife get your evenings together.