FRIDAY JOKE THREAD

A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices.

After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price."

Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either."
 
I just don't get Al Qaeda.

Anyone motivated by the promise of sex with 72 virgins, clearly hasn't had sex with ONE virgin.

All that wriggling, bleeding and crying....plus you've got all that running just to catch one.
 
There's a woman who likes the Beatles so much that she gets John Lennon's face tattooed on her inner right thigh and Paul McCartney on her left. But when the tatto artist is done, she's dissatisfied with the results.

"This dosen't look anything like them," she says.
"Yes, it does," the tatooist answers.

They go back and forth for awhile and finally the tatooist suggests the find an impartial observer. They walk out on the street and find a wino. The girl lifts her skirts and the tattooist points.

"Does that look like John Lennon?"
"I dunno."
"Well, does that look like Paul McCartney?"
"I dunno, but that guy in the middle with the beard and the bad breath, that's gotta be Willie Nelson."
 
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