Best way to find food stealer...

[tom_nieto]

Scoop butter out of the tub.

Poo in bottom of tub.

Melt butter back into tub.

Job done.

This, they would never steal again

 

[Guest2]

or another option is to agree with your flatmates that you all buy together communal milk/cheese/butter etc so you don't have this issue

Speaking from past experience, this doesnt work. One person will hammer the milk whilst another doesnt eat butter maybe.

Also speaking from past experience, its much easier to not buy milk, butter etc if you are that bothered. My housemate was gutted when I said ive got used to porridge with water instead of milk. He used it everyday "could I use a bit in my tea"

However, now i'm (we're) a bit older we generally share stuff more and take turns in buying

 

[Amnesia]

if it hasnt been suggested
poison the food

or just something to give the recipient.....real bad diarrhea

 

[meghatronic]

Get some food colouring and dye your milk blue or green.

However, a general (paranoia?) rule I stuck to was only keeping sealed things in the fridge. Open it = eat it all. Or either have it stolen or contaminated. I lived with morons.

 

[UKTopGun]

Get some food colouring and dye your milk blue or green.

However, a general (paranoia?) rule I stuck to was only keeping sealed things in the fridge. Open it = eat it all. Or either have it stolen or contaminated. I lived with morons.

Well the thing is that doesn't even work here...

I bought some new butter but didnt have it for a week. Go to it a week later expecting it to still have the seal over it and theyve already started it/had quite a fair bit! I put the butter in a box with my name on it too as I thought that might help them stop, but obviously it didnt...

Is there any hot chilli sauce I can buy in sainsburys? Ones I have tried don't seem to like my billing/shipping address being different as its the first time ordering.

 

[robgmun]

Just get the hottest you can buy in Sainbury's, should be easily be hot enough for your purpose

 

[godinman]

Melt the butter, urinate in it then let it set. Probably wouldn't notice until it was too late

Screw the chili sauce idea, cause them some real humiliation

 

[dowie]

My brother continually had his food and drink stolen while at uni, so he left some rat poison in his orange juice when he left

ok this is the extremely retarded option

Daveyboy's brother is not very bright by the sounds of things and presumably no-one actually drunk his rat poison laced orange juice (if it actually even happened that is) actually poisoning someone (and potentially killing them) is a bit silly for many reasons.

 

[peetee]

microwave meal that doesnt have a film wrap over the top - such as weight watchers meals(OM NOM), gently peel lid back, take meal out of cardboard, make bed of pubes on bottom of contained, put meal back in, glue lid back to base.. presto.
Laxatives in milk.
Loving the UV idea too.

 

[I get around]

Simple solution was to eat other peoples food when I was midnight snacking. Being a passive/aggressive type just makes uni less fun for all.

It's hardly passive aggressive is it, it's just messing with the guy who's stealing your food. Having a joke at their expense, which serves them right really.

 

[UKTopGun]

Well today my laxatives arrived!

However I've just realised I ordered the wrong sort. I ordered the type you insert into your rectum...

So I can't use these!

Time to order some more, this time the right type...

 

[robgmun]

Just get some hot chili, sounds like you're stalling, i would have done this days ago

 

[I get around]

Well today my laxatives arrived!

However I've just realised I ordered the wrong sort. I ordered the type you insert into your rectum...

So I can't use these!

Time to order some more, this time the right type...

Crush them up and stick them in some food anyway?

Does it say "Do not take orally"? Good, then stick them in your food and see what happens.

 

[tntcoder]

The thief will probably have an allergic reaction to them and you end up in jail for poisoning

 

[JBuk]

Well today my laxatives arrived!

However I've just realised I ordered the wrong sort. I ordered the type you insert into your rectum...

So I can't use these!

Time to order some more, this time the right type...

Of course you can still use them


only for personal pleasure though

 

[Cosimo]

Well today my laxatives arrived!

However I've just realised I ordered the wrong sort. I ordered the type you insert into your rectum...

So I can't use these!

Time to order some more, this time the right type...

You can use them on the culprit once they’re caught.

 

[Alex_6n2]

Secret Poo is the only way.

Either that or buy some milk, let it go sour and replace your fresh milk with it. Youll find out who pretty quick

 

[UKTopGun]

You can use them on the culprit once they’re caught.

That is so gross

I'm not stalling, just been busy!

 

[I get around]

In all fairness a tremendous bowel movement puts me in a really good mood.

 

[JBuk]

In all fairness a tremendous bowel movement puts me in a really good mood.

Aye, I can't help thinking that spiking somebody with laxatives is actually a nice thing to do to them