Being a Dad for the 1st time

Pate · 6 Feb 2011 at 13:56

If you are in a strong marriage then sure, go for it. Children are wonderful things.

Mr^B · 6 Feb 2011 at 14:08

[TW]Fox;18402937 said:
Try paying for them to go through Uni when you are about to retire

...is the best time to do it.

At 58-61 (assuming you are 40 at birth and they go to Uni at 18) you are probably earning your peak wage, and also are mortgage free.

I'm 38, my wife is expecting our 4th, our eldest is 9 this year. If I'd started 10 years sooner I wouldn't be able to send any of them to Uni. At the moment, I'm planning on sending all 4 if they want to.

*shrugs*

Retromatic · 6 Feb 2011 at 18:23

stopper said:
Same here, 31 and my 3rd is due in 6 weeks.
I wouldn't want any past 40 either, 35 would be the latest I would have one, I think the kids benefit more from having younger (but not too young) parents.

Congrats!

My eldest (now 11) I had when I was 22, probablly would have waited had I had the chance but only until my mid 20's when I started to settle down properly. My other two I had @ 29 and 30.

KNiVES · 6 Feb 2011 at 18:38

The best thing to do is not to have children at all to be honest. Is it really necessary?

dante6491 · 6 Feb 2011 at 18:50

My uncle was 47 when my cousin was born. Still goes and plays Rugby once every couple of weeks. He is 53 now.

davedudes · 6 Feb 2011 at 18:56

Kid's to me are a hell of a lot of work as I know from when I see my neice and nephew (poor sister

) love em' to bits though.

Schizo · 6 Feb 2011 at 18:57

KNiVES said:
The best thing to do is not to have children at all to be honest. Is it really necessary?

what was your mum and dad thinking then

Draeger · 6 Feb 2011 at 19:02

schizo220168 said:
congrats to you both.

Thanks. Very excited about it although it's going to be very strange at first!.

The other thing that needs to be understood is some people decide to start trying for a family at "xx" age but don't actually conceive until a long time after. So it's not just a case of thinking "Right, we are 25. It's Monday - lets have a baby in 9 months time.

Lot's of things to factor in there, "chance/luck" being one of them. We have been trying for a baby for about 7 years and at one stage started to think it was never going to happen. My wife miscarried in the summer of 2008 and we thought we were never going to get there in the end. Then all of a sudden last year it happened!!. Seems that is the case for a lot of folk. More and more people are leaving having kids until later and later in life so they can offer and provide a more financially stable upbringing. I know I'm certainly in a better financial position now after promotion at work compared to how I was 15 years ago. My wife is exactly the same.

As far as the comment Fox made about grandparents and age, I can understand the thinking behind that but at what age do you suddenly become of grandparent age?. I can't remember seeing that written down in black and white anywhere!!??.

Anyway, at the age of 39 our pregnancy has been an interesting adventure so far. I can't wait till it hatches and episode 2 begins. Mind you, I'll revisit this thread in 6 months time and post my findings.

LeJosh · 6 Feb 2011 at 19:04

shifty_uk said:
Not to mention the depression and arguments caused when the women doesn't fall pregnant right away due to the old 'shelf life' expiration. It can also cause complications during birth, no?

Who says she's 40.

Narj · 6 Feb 2011 at 19:26

davedudes said:
Kid's to me are a hell of a lot of work as I know from when I see my neice and nephew (poor sister) love em' to bits though.

Yep, I'm happy taking my niece & nephew out, doing fun stuff and enjoying all the laughs they bring, but like hell will I be having my own. Far too much hard work.

singist · 6 Feb 2011 at 19:38

Nah, you'll enjoy playing soccer in the park when you are 55+

Lethagized · 6 Feb 2011 at 19:58

People that don't want kids are weird and selfish. It's not natural to not want to reproduce.

As for the age, i think 40-45 is the limit.

JBod · 6 Feb 2011 at 21:00

The increased chances of complications, downs etc... should put any woman off having babies after 35 IMO.

Kutter · 6 Feb 2011 at 21:49

I was 39 when my daughter was born, she's 2 in May

mrbios · 6 Feb 2011 at 22:37

I'd say anything later than 45 is too old. 35 being the latest i would personally choose to have another child...but im only 23 so i have a long way to go

Narj · 7 Feb 2011 at 15:57

RobRX-7 said:
People that don't want kids are weird and selfish. It's not natural to not want to reproduce.

Bit of a sweeping statement? Some people think that not having kids is the opposite thing completely (no more drain on the planet's resources etc).

I don't think I'm weird? I certainly don't hate kids (I spend loads of time with my niece/nephew); I just want to do lots of travelling and other things in life that are incompatible with the settling-down lifestyle. I like the fact that whenever I'm offered work in Australia or elsewhere in the world, I can just get up and go. At the end of the day that's my choice.

dave1983 · 7 Feb 2011 at 16:41

My partners due tomorrow! she's had a lot of Braxton Hicks.

Wizzkidy · 7 Feb 2011 at 16:43

My wife is due in 2 months

first child and really looking forward to it! I don't think your too old to have kids.

I'm 28 and feel I could have waited longer and was expecting to do so until I found out I have super sperm it only took 2 months of trying!!

digipeep · 19 Feb 2011 at 03:03

Thx for your inputs, I'm 42 my other half is 33, she's well broody, I'm not so much but I got a feeling I'm going to be taking penalty kicks every night for the next 12 months until I score, I'm **** at football by the way.

rossiboy001 · 19 Feb 2011 at 04:02

No good luck to you and your misse"s