Le relationship thread (keeping it short)

regulus said:
She's walking like Tina Turner today.
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In that case you're all good :D
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So i see she has suckered you into the "i am apologising to you too for not doing anything wrong just beacuse you are apologising to me and it makes me feel bad" group, unlucky :D

On a brighter note im glad it all went well, and if i am honest with you regulus i am 100% sure she hasnt cheated on you, but if you were out with the guys getting a bit drunk even you would look at a bit of eye candy, maybe even a grope, we have all done it but its just a bit of harmless flirting so i wouldnt worry about her doing something similar :)
 
Am I the only one who thinks flirting with other men = instant binning? Perhaps I'm really that choosey or insecure. Luckily my other half seems to be on the same wavelength.
 
shifty_uk said:
Am I the only one who thinks flirting with other men = instant binning? Perhaps I'm really that choosey or insecure. Luckily my other half seems to be on the same wavelength.
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You not alone. The object of flirting is to give the "signals" to the other person. If you are taken why flirt?
 
shifty_uk said:
Am I the only one who thinks flirting with other men = instant binning? Perhaps I'm really that choosey or insecure. Luckily my other half seems to be on the same wavelength.
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Nope. I'm the same. No point wasting time with someone who I can't trust.
 
lucasade1 said:
What happened the the Mr Cool attitude of win? :(
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I ain't so cool after all :(. Look, I can't exactly keep on being an ass after she came to me wearing her heart on her sleeve. I'm optimistic but cautiously so. She has quite a bit to prove to me and said so herself. From my side I can also make it easier for her by trying to improve some bad habits I had. I even said so in the first post that I haven't always been a perfect boyfriend to her.

I took her for granted, didn't always show much interest in her less serious issues ('Grrr, that Kelly can be such a bitch, guess what she said about Amanda today ..... Zzzzzz), etc. I didn't tell her as much but I will make more of an effort, unprompted.
 
Sorry to kick off thoughts again but surely it can't be all that simple though?

Go back and read the first post, sounded a lot more serious than how it's turned out to me. :s
 
regulus said:
I'd like to know if there was another guy on the scene, however brief, when she was out all those nights. Leave it or touch upon later?
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Some questions are better left unasked. Just asking can cause problems and you really need to be sure you want to hear the answer.
 
regulus said:
Hey sorry for the lack of updates. Work keeping me busy. It went nothing like I thought it would. We had a nice meal where nothing was really said. She went on about her day and showed tons of interest in mine.

Afterwards I started watching 'The Unborn' when she came up to me on the sofa and sort off grabbed onto me. Teary-eyed (why does women always start crying :rolleyes:) she went on about how she doesn't want to lose me, so sorry for her behaviour, etc etc. Also said she'll never go out with this girl again if that's what I wanted (I didn't).

I also felt compelled to apologise for not doing more with her and allowing things to stagnate. It was very surreal having this conversation with her but it was probably long over due. In a moment of pure madness I even promised to go to dancing classes with her! She's coming to badminton with me tomorrow. We both agreed on making a much bigger effort doing more things together. Today she surprised me by coming round the site (cue wolf whistles from the guys) and taking me for lunch. Almost felt like a first date again. So yes, I'm holding quite a bit of hope for the survival of this relationship.
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Awesome news. Well done :) However, just be mindful in the future. I stick by what i said before - these things don't just go away. They get glossed over for a while, you go back to being lovey dovey, however, you'll quickly forget about this argument and both of you may start slipping back into your old, boring, stagnant ways.

Just make sure you don't, keep things fresh, exciting and most of all INTERESTING, and i think you'll be just fine.

regulus said:
This about all that's happened so far. There's just one last tiny matter I still want to know but asking would perhaps take us back to square one. I'd like to know if there was another guy on the scene, however brief, when she was out all those nights. Leave it or touch upon later?
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Leave it. Definitely leave it - if it happened, it'll come out soon enough. Obviously i have no way of knowing, but i don't think she went that far that night, she sounds like she probably just got hit on quite a bit, probably had some drink bought for her and a good time. Sounds to me like she just loved getting that much guy attention for the first time in 7 years.

If you do ask her, she'll lie if she has done anything. Basically, you won't know if she's telling the truth or not because, at the moment, she has every reason to lie (because you and her are getting on so well at the moment - in your words "it was like a first date") and no reason at all to tell the truth. If she did something, in her mind, she will simply dismiss it as a momentary lapse in judgement because she had been drinking/her friend was encouraging her/she didn't feel things were great with you at the time/the guy was really really hot/she felt you had neglected her.
 
sigma said:
Sorry to kick off thoughts again but surely it can't be all that simple though?

Go back and read the first post, sounded a lot more serious than how it's turned out to me. :s
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It's because proper, effective communication went on. It could quite easily be a finished relationship now if both parties hadn't actually listened to each other, a positive thing in my opinion.

I also like the way Regulus has seen how he can also improve.

'Tis like a Childrens cartoon :p
 
regulus said:
I ain't so cool after all :(. Look, I can't exactly keep on being an ass after she came to me wearing her heart on her sleeve. I'm optimistic but cautiously so. She has quite a bit to prove to me and said so herself. From my side I can also make it easier for her by trying to improve some bad habits I had. I even said so in the first post that I haven't always been a perfect boyfriend to her.

I took her for granted, didn't always show much interest in her less serious issues ('Grrr, that Kelly can be such a bitch, guess what she said about Amanda today ..... Zzzzzz), etc. I didn't tell her as much but I will make more of an effort, unprompted.
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I'm really happy she seems to be making more of an effort and everything. Maybe Mr Cool worked. Just be careful, as has been said, the OP sounded serious. A few tears and a lunch won't suddenly make you forget the worries. Best of luck in any event :)
 
kenmare said:
It's because proper, effective communication went on.
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That's debatable.

Sounds to me like something specific happened and she's just used the other (valid) points to cover it up.

Bit late to rock the boat now though, I guess? Personally, I'd have wanted to know before making up.
 
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