Friday Funny

Sky Sports interview with Beckham: "David, you are planning on a return to the Premiership, having made your name at Man United. Are you worried about the stick?"

"No, she'll be fine. She loves London"
 
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Apparently just because semen is good for the complexion does not give me the right to shout "Olay" as I *** on her face.
 
A woman's dishwasher breaks down so she calls a repairman out. She has to go out so tells hm "Don't worry about the pitbull, he won;t bother you but whatever you do don't under any circumtances talk to my parrot"

The man starts work, wary of the biggest, meanest looking pitbull he's ever seen but he just lays there watching him work. The parrot however, drives him nuts, yelling and cursing. Finally the man snaps and yells "Shut the **** up, you annoying *******!"

Parrot replies "GET HIM SPIKE"
 
I'm as attached to Margate as anyone would be to their home town, but I'll be the first to admit that it's a bit of a ****hole. Just the other week I was walking along Margate seafront when I saw a couple having a blazing row on the other side of the street. The wife was losing it and really laying into her husband, giving him a real battering just as a policeman turned up - he barely paused before pulling out his truncheon and laying into the husband, too. The poor guy had clearly had enough, and wrestled the truncheon off the copper - then turned around, truncheon in hand, and battered his wife! Classic Margate scene, no mistake about it.

Then a crocodile showed up and ate all the sausages.
 
Deadbeat said:
I'm as attached to Margate as anyone would be to their home town, but I'll be the first to admit that it's a bit of a ****hole. Just the other week I was walking along Margate seafront when I saw a couple having a blazing row on the other side of the street. The wife was losing it and really laying into her husband, giving him a real battering just as a policeman turned up - he barely paused before pulling out his truncheon and laying into the husband, too. The poor guy had clearly had enough, and wrestled the truncheon off the copper - then turned around, truncheon in hand, and battered his wife! Classic Margate scene, no mistake about it.

Then a crocodile showed up and ate all the sausages.
Click to expand...

WUT
 
Deadbeat said:
I'm as attached to Margate as anyone would be to their home town, but I'll be the first to admit that it's a bit of a ****hole. Just the other week I was walking along Margate seafront when I saw a couple having a blazing row on the other side of the street. The wife was losing it and really laying into her husband, giving him a real battering just as a policeman turned up - he barely paused before pulling out his truncheon and laying into the husband, too. The poor guy had clearly had enough, and wrestled the truncheon off the copper - then turned around, truncheon in hand, and battered his wife! Classic Margate scene, no mistake about it.

Then a crocodile showed up and ate all the sausages.
Click to expand...

Now that I do like :D
 
Deadbeat said:
I'm as attached to Margate as anyone would be to their home town, but I'll be the first to admit that it's a bit of a ****hole. Just the other week I was walking along Margate seafront when I saw a couple having a blazing row on the other side of the street. The wife was losing it and really laying into her husband, giving him a real battering just as a policeman turned up - he barely paused before pulling out his truncheon and laying into the husband, too. The poor guy had clearly had enough, and wrestled the truncheon off the copper - then turned around, truncheon in hand, and battered his wife! Classic Margate scene, no mistake about it.

Then a crocodile showed up and ate all the sausages.
Click to expand...

:D

I feel sorry for the people not getting it :p
 
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