Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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Meeting that chick tonight I met online. We've chatted on the phone and she seems as normal as one could hope from these places, but she's painfully shy and I'm working my ass off grappling for topics to keep the conversation flowing. I got a table at a fairly decent West End restaurant so we won't be bothered by rabble-rousing chavs making noise whilst we're trying to have a conversation. I'm expecting absolutely nothing but the pleasure of female company. We're both still licking wounds from previous failed relationships and we're calling this a 'confidence builder'. I'm very relaxed about it actually which is good :)
 
Holliday said:
I'd rather improve my confidence so much that If I saw a stunning girl at the bus stop or somewhere I wouldn't hesitate to approach her, and the only way to gain that confidence is to approach women in real life.
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I would love to be in that position one day :o

At the moment, I cannot approach a woman on the street to talk, thats too much for me. I find it slightly easier to start a conversation with a woman that works somewhere.

One of the guys in my class is the confident type and the stories he tells me of the situations/places where he approaches women makes you think :eek: "you actually did that there and then?" Also, his stories of getting badly rejected by women makes me laugh.

From my experience, having confident male friends will help you to gain confidence as they can 'train' you in what to do/what not to do and motivate you.


Orange Peel said:
I suffer from the worst possible approach anxiety yet
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I'm surprised, as from your posts in this thread and others, you give off the impression that you're the confident type.
 
First date with this online girl last night and it could not have gone any better. Ended up closing down the restaurant, strolled around Central London, just talking about anything and everything. Closed down a Jazz Bar. Taxi back to her place, she insisted I come up for coffee (this was 4am now) and I stayed until 1pm this afternoon.

Not bad for a first meeting where my only hopes at the start was for her NOT to have facial hair and 6 fingers per hand.

Seeing her again Thursday.
 
Orange Peel said:
I do agree with that.

I've been told by some of the women I've dated that they would love me to come and talk to them proving that I can't be that bad looking. However, I can't. I suffer from the worst possible approach anxiety yet when I tell this to girls I meet on the net they don't believe me as I'm completely different, once I know I'm in (so to speak)
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I used to be this way too a few years back, I had real anxiety approaching any woman that I thought was hot. i'm not a bad looking chap myself, but the problem was rooted in low self-confidence and self-esteem (kept well hidden in day to day life, but there nevertheless). Then I started to think "Screw it, what's the worst that can happen" and just went up, smiled and talked to them... and by that I mean just talked... no cheesy lines, no forced witty banter... just talking normally. For the first dozen times I kind of fell foul of my own nervousness, then as I got more comfortable I gradually realised that very good looking women are not some kind of awe-inspiring, mystical creatures with one foot in another world, they're just normal people who just want a nice conversation the same as anyone else, and if you stay cool and calm during the first half hour and get to the stage where you're both comfortable talking to each-other, the rest is a breeze. Even if they don't fancy you, they appreciate the thought and compliment, and each time you do it gets easier.

Practise your best smile (that's what starts it all off), make direct eye-contact whenever possible when talking to her, and just be yourself. If she likes you then the rest will follow from there. God knows how many men have missed out on a chance to get with their dream girl simply through being too afraid to talk to them, and I know for a fact that many hot women actually get sick of no-one approaching hem, to the point where one of my friends wishes "she was uglier". Most amusing. :)
 
sigma said:
Obviously can't be that desperate to get a bloke then? Especially to the point where she thinks she would rather be uglier.
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Of course she's not desperate, she's a classy and elegant woman... she just doesn't get approached half as much as less good-looking women, and it annoys her.

Gelly54 said:
i met my current girlfriend after i stalked her on facebook and now we are a happy family!
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Does she live in the secured basement perchance?
 
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Fossil said:
I'm surprised, as from your posts in this thread and others, you give off the impression that you're the confident type.
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Confident in life in general, yeah. With women in the real world!!!!! Now that's a very different story!

Online I am and have had [borat]great success[/borat] with women this way. My problem isn't talking to them it's the whole approach which is taken away online. Once I'm 'in' (so to speak) I don't have any problems.

It's like my firewall is blocking my real world approach port lol.



Richdog said:
I used to be this way too a few years back, I had real anxiety approaching any woman that I thought was hot. i'm not a bad looking chap myself, but the problem was rooted in low self-confidence and self-esteem (kept well hidden in day to day life, but there nevertheless). Then I started to think "Screw it, what's the worst that can happen" and just went up, smiled and talked to them... and by that I mean just talked... no cheesy lines, no forced witty banter... just talking normally. For the first dozen times I kind of fell foul of my own nervousness, then as I got more comfortable I gradually realised that very good looking women are not some kind of awe-inspiring, mystical creatures with one foot in another world, they're just normal people who just want a nice conversation the same as anyone else, and if you stay cool and calm during the first half hour and get to the stage where you're both comfortable talking to each-other, the rest is a breeze. Even if they don't fancy you, they appreciate the thought and compliment, and each time you do it gets easier.

Practise your best smile (that's what starts it all off), make direct eye-contact whenever possible when talking to her, and just be yourself. If she likes you then the rest will follow from there. God knows how many men have missed out on a chance to get with their dream girl simply through being too afraid to talk to them, and I know for a fact that many hot women actually get sick of no-one approaching hem, to the point where one of my friends wishes "she was uglier". Most amusing. :)
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You sir are an inspiration :)
 
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Richdog said:
Of course she's not desperate, she's a classy and elegant woman... she just doesn't get approached half as much as less good-looking women, and it annoys her.
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Yeah but it takes two... and if you are not going to make the effort it ain't going to happen!

Been out on two online dates.. the first one didn't look like his picture and text me a whole week later :/ I didn't text back.

The second well the date went well - so I thought... then he wanted to walk to see the Pinnacle (we were talking about all the buildings in London during the evening) - which is out of my way home so I was like.. 'well Im going to walk to London Bridge' so he walked me literally to the barriers.

I saw my train was in 4mins and said 'thanks for a nice evening' peck on cheek etc.

Text him when I got home and nothing.

He blatantly thought I was going to invite him back with me!

GUTTED!!! HAhahahahah!

Loser!

BB x
 
I've resorted to it recently, been in 2x 6 month relationships since my divorce and a few flings etc but my chances of meeting someone in the traditional way is pretty slim as i know everyone where i live now. I seem to be doing terribly though lol. I'm not the best looking fella out there but i don't usually fail as badly as this. The only people who reply to me seem to be the ones who haven't read my profile properly and didn't realise i had 3 kids. Conversation stops when i tell them. Living in Cambridge means there aren't a huge amount of people in my area too. Pretty disappointing.
 
Well, been out with 3 different women since last Friday. The first girl was a delight and I'm seeing her again this weekend, whilst to other two .. not so much. One tried getting me to buy her clothes and a handbag, whilst to other started crying in the restaurant when I asked her about her family. Ok, perhaps there's some sort of history there she doesn't want to talk about yet, but after that the dinner was completed in record time and I never heard from her again.

Yea, no idea myself.

All and all, quite a handy way of meeting people if you have the patience to search through the dirt to find the diamonds. I do miss being in a relationship, but this dating thing sure is interesting :p
 
Thought I would give POF a try, only signed up in the past few days, anyway fast forward to yesterday getting msg asking me if I was normal so I blanked it thinking what a nutcase and she had no pic! Anyway I get back from work to find another msg so I think "what the hell" and reply to it, it only turns out we work for the same place and know a lot of the same people! Got chatting to her and we are going on a "date" on monday, she sounds/looks really nice! Quite looking forward to it even though this sort of thing aint my style usually!
 
Richdog said:
Of course she's not desperate, she's a classy and elegant woman... she just doesn't get approached half as much as less good-looking women, and it annoys her.
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Classy and elegant? That doesn't mean she can't be desperate.

I was simply saying that if it's not working, perhaps she should do something about it rather than just wish she was less good-looking.
 
Spikey said:
Thought I would give POF a try, only signed up in the past few days, anyway fast forward to yesterday getting msg asking me if I was normal so I blanked it thinking what a nutcase and she had no pic! Anyway I get back from work to find another msg so I think "what the hell" and reply to it, it only turns out we work for the same place and know a lot of the same people! Got chatting to her and we are going on a "date" on monday, she sounds/looks really nice! Quite looking forward to it even though this sort of thing aint my style usually!
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Remember that it's just the method of introduction that's different. E.g, you met her online instead of drunkenly screaming into each other's ears in a club. The same rules of dating still applies. You're not actually dating online!

Too many people seem hung up on 'online dating' whilst it's just the introductory part that happens online. The dating part is still exactly the same. You're still approaching a woman that knows nothing about you and may just as easily walk out on your if there's anything about you she doesn't like. The only advantage is that the 'online dating' part put his/her bum in the seat, willing to listen to you make your case, so to speak.

I was exactly the same as you until I started going on these dates. I stupidly thought it would be different than real life, but once you've introduced and realised that LickMe132 and HawtBlondz887 are real people, the website is quickly forgotten and the normal dating rules comes into play.
 
So just when I thought it was all a waste of time, like buses they all come along at once! Got a date with a nice looking blonde girl next week off POF, and against all the odds a Turkish girl messaged me on Match so I'm talking to her at the mo.

Any tips for first dates? Not so much what to do, but more about conversation, how to act, etc. Not that I'm unsure, just that a bit of vicarious experience never hurt anyone. :)
 
nero120 said:
So just when I thought it was all a waste of time, like buses they all come along at once! Got a date with a nice looking blonde girl next week off POF, and against all the odds a Turkish girl messaged me on Match so I'm talking to her at the mo.

Any tips for first dates? Not so much what to do, but more about conversation, how to act, etc. Not that I'm unsure, just that a bit of vicarious experience never hurt anyone. :)
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If youve been truthful and honest on your actual profile about your hobbies and interests, just chat about those and make sure you listen to anything and everything she has to say. Also if your the type of guy to disagree with someones point of view if you dont agree with it, bite your tongue if she says something daft lol. Basically just be yourself as theres no logical reason to try and pretend your something you envisage her wanting in a man to turn out thats not it at all, or even worse you slip up etc.
 
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