But death is final, correct me if I am wrong but if you go back thousands of years deaths were celebrated events?
Death.
- Thread starter Danthus
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But death is final, correct me if I am wrong but if you go back thousands of years deaths were celebrated events?
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I think it was the Victorians made a misery out of funerals in the UK. Queen Victoria mourned her dead husband for decades ffs.
If you genuinely struggle to understand why people tend to try to emotionally bolster those who have suffered a death of a loved one, I'm not sure what else I can add.
This also perfectly illustrates my thoughts in the sub-forum thread in that GD threads on this matter should simply be ignored.
Not everyone believes that death is final. Even those who do have this thing called humanity (aka empathy, sensitivity) that provides a means to support the person suffering the bereavement.
You're right about the celebration though. In many cultures and sub-cultures (including in the UK), physical death is a celebration; be it of the person's life, or else of their passing into a new one. Depends on the person's own outlook, obviously.
Death were (and still are in many cultures) celebrated events in that they signified the continuance of the souls journey onward....
While you may have the opinion that death is the final act of oblivion, many do not share that view, and besides it is no reason not to show some compassion to those who have lost a loved one by the use of softer phraseology.
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Dead is a pretty blunt term and can cause upset to fresh grievers. I would still say its the most accurate term though. Passed on I would have thought is more for religious reference? (could be very wrong) i.e. passed on to the other side (heaven). Fell asleep is just dumb, who buries sleeping people.... As is lost, hes in the ground, there found him. Whats the point in having a word to describe something then choosing other words which have no connection to replace it with. Either way you are still grieving.
The death of someone close to you is generally a traumatic event, and people cope with it in different ways - some can face up to it straight away, others need more time to deal with it in their own way. As such, I'd err on the side of using softer terms, and let the people directly involved do whatever will make it easier for them.
I actually realised after my father died that it was only when writing in my own journal that I ever said "died" directly, I'd always phrase it differently when speaking. A year on, I'm now perfectly comfortable saying it, though wouldn't directly use it around my mother or grandparents, I guess. It's just a case of being considerate and aware of peoples' emotions.
I actually realised after my father died that it was only when writing in my own journal that I ever said "died" directly, I'd always phrase it differently when speaking. A year on, I'm now perfectly comfortable saying it, though wouldn't directly use it around my mother or grandparents, I guess. It's just a case of being considerate and aware of peoples' emotions.
It's all a matter of perspective though, isn't it? As you allude, religious reference also plays its part. Fallen asleep could be a reference to the mode of death, the fact that corpses often look 'just asleep' or (perhaps more accurately) to the fact that Abrahamic theology dictates that we 'sleep' until the day of judgment at which time we are resurrected.
Wasnt aware of the last part. Interesting. As you say its down to the individual I would have thought. It just seems like denial in some cases with the terminology that they use (which is fair enough) and then they etch it forever onto the headstone so they have to see their own denial every day long after they are over their mourning. If they dont like using the term 'dead' then then dont need to make up alternatives on a headstone 'loved father and husband. forever in our hearts' sort of thing is fine, 'hes not dead, just sleeping' just seems over the top and a little creepy. Dave Spikey did a good routine on this on his first live DVD.
Which is fine, but if the person happens to be Christian/Catholic/Muslim/Jewish etc then they're not saying it in denial, they're saying it as an expression of their belief that the person merely 'rests' until resurrection. Which is fair enough.
Fair enough. Not being a religious person myself then I would still consider it to be over the top and a little weird myself but that is a personal view and one I know isnt shared by everyone. For every 9 people who do it for personal beliefs and feelings ,there will always be one person short of a few brain cells who does it to be memorable/different and it goes **** up. But there is always people in the world that you will raise an eyebrow at on a daily basis.
Blimey!
Rue the day you have to post of the death of your parent, spouse, or (heaven forbid) a child. Three hundred quoted replies consisting solely of 'People Die. Get Over It.' won't seem so funny then. GD can be a bitch like that.
You're either trolling, very young, or immature. You may hold such a nihilistic materialist approach, but many (most) don't. Hence sensitivity being the watchword in these situations.
I'd go with this. But I think its a cultural thing whereby people fear talking about "Death" almost as if it has a personality which in itself stems from the middle ages. People feared talking about "Death" because of a fear he will come for you. Death conquers all.
I don't know why but I found that reply belly laugh inducing.
Rue the day you have to post of the death of your parent, spouse, or (heaven forbid) a child. Three hundred quoted replies consisting solely of 'People Die. Get Over It.' won't seem so funny then. GD can be a bitch like that.
You're either trolling, very young, or immature. You may hold such a nihilistic materialist approach, but many (most) don't. Hence sensitivity being the watchword in these situations.
Or maybe he doesn't take what he says as seriously as you because this is an internet forum and real life friends are for talking to about serious life (or death) issues
Anyway... I prefer to say "pushing up the daisies"
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I wouldn't say its to soften the blow, its a statement of empathy.
When someone dies their body stops moving however their interactions with everyone else cease as well. I and most other people enjoy interactions with other people, some more than other. When people say 'I'm sorry for your loss' they aren't just saying I'm sorry so and so died, they are saying 'I'm sorry that someone that you enjoyed interacting with on some level has passed' and 'I feel regret that you no longer have something you viewed as important in your life is no longer there for you'
When it happens to you you'll understand
When someone dies their body stops moving however their interactions with everyone else cease as well. I and most other people enjoy interactions with other people, some more than other. When people say 'I'm sorry for your loss' they aren't just saying I'm sorry so and so died, they are saying 'I'm sorry that someone that you enjoyed interacting with on some level has passed' and 'I feel regret that you no longer have something you viewed as important in your life is no longer there for you'
When it happens to you you'll understand
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time is infinite but life is not. There is no point looking for death because death will come and find you.
\strokes long grey beard
\strokes long grey beard
Rue the day you have to post of the death of your parent, spouse, or (heaven forbid) a child. Three hundred quoted replies consisting solely of 'People Die. Get Over It.' won't seem so funny then. GD can be a bitch like that.
You're either trolling, very young, or immature. You may hold such a nihilistic materialist approach, but many (most) don't. Hence sensitivity being the watchword in these situations.
I never said that it seemed funny, and I wouldn't need to feel the need to post about the death of somebody I knew.
I understand why people do post, and that comfort in the form of strangers can be quite soothing and help the "grieving" process. I also know people deal with different situations in different ways, I myself don't seem to remain emotionally attached for very long at all, hence little to no grieving process. I would also partly agree about the nihilism.
Apologies if my post seemed a little agressive, Monday Morning.
So you are a borderline sociopath?