Crazy exs.

kaffe

kaffe

kaffe

Associate
Joined
13 Jun 2011
Posts
1,487
Location
Kettering
Soooooo long story short my boyfriend suddenly broke up with me on Thursday. Wasn't really given an explanation so as you can imagine I'm stuck in the whole "what have I done wrong" loop. I want nothing more than to just understand what's going on, and let him know that if he changes his mind I'm still game (after a little work though, after all he did really hurt me and a little trust is lost). I'm a nice girl and deserve to be told if I've done something wrong. I don't mean to be unrealistic but just hoping that there is a little chance of reconciliation.

Now I was wondering, seeing as most of you on here are men, what would you think if you're ex told you this? I have no idea what's going on through his head so I don't know if he misses me or and is also upset about it, or if he's just glad to be shot of me. I've refrained from talking to him so far.


In before "worst I'm a girl that's now single on the internet thread ever".
Seriously not up for that, just honest advice please.
 
Invite him over for a talk and windmill him with two of the heaviest cups you've got, that you prepared earlier by filling with water and putting in the freezer.

Tell the police he attacked you.

Win.
 
Leave him be, do exactly what you're doing now. If/when he's ready, you'll know. I wouldn't pressure him for a explanation.

I think men and women have different approaches to relationship break ups; in my experience women can be emotionally broken up from a relationship for weeks/months before actually saying something about it, and I think blokes are a bit more blunt and rash.
 
Try and find out what went wrong by all means, but I wuoldn't harp on about being happy to have him back.
 
I tried that. I got the "I'm unhappy" doohinky. Which unfortunately doesn't satisfy my thirst to know.
 
I'd be careful of coming out too quick with the "maybe we can make it work" line. Find out why he broke up with you first. You may find after that, that there's no going back. And you don't want to be taken for an idot.
 
he's boffing someone else.

edit: or at least wants to.

A lot of guys will reach a point in a relationship where they actively consider if it's going to last/they want to be in it forever. If the answer is no it's usually pretty terminal.
 
Invite him over for a "kaffe" :p and a chat...

As said above, don't let him know how you feel (about wanting to take him back) until he has told you his reasons... You might not like the answers
 
kaffe said:
He doesn't know any other women :p
Not ruling it out, I mean I left my ex for him so I know it happens. But I remain pretty confident that's not why.
Click to expand...
While it may not be a specific other woman if he doesn't want to be with you it's because he wants to be with someone else, be that someone he's got his eye on or an abstract perfect girl. You however are not right for him, which in turn probably means he's not right for you.
 
From past experience I would say that you'll probably never find out, it's usually the case that there isn't a specific reason, it's not easy but you need to look forwards not backwards.
 
Just leave him alone for a few days then start talking to him again and see how it goes, we(men) quite often need to relax a bit and take time to think.
 
How long were you together, did you get a heads up this was coming?

It's not asking too much to get some sort of explanation as to why he's dumped you, but you may have to get used to the idea that there possibly isn't a real reason - what I mean is, a reason that will remedy the screaming 'What did I do wrong' question in your head.

How old is your ex?

It's unlikely this is a spur of the moment thing, he has probably been mulling it over for a while. What you might be able to ascertain, is what brought this to a head - e.g. were you about to get: engaged/married/a dog or move in together?

Perhaps things just didn't feel 'right' for him, or is it possible he's dealing with other 'issues' and is pushing you away?
 
kaffe said:
I'm a girl
Click to expand...

You lie! There are no girls on the Interwebs!

In a much more serious line... I'm not really sure what you can do, if he's just saying 'I'm unhappy' then the chances are he doesn't want to say, and unfortunately if you continue to pursue it you may push him further away :S

kd
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom