Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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My advice is to not get hung up over virtual messages/texting and don't bring up issues that way. If you like them but are confused, wait to talk face to face about things like mixed signals.

There's no emotions in a text and they barely know you in person so it's difficult to see the context. I have tripped up many a time with texting. If they don't reply they don't reply and I just leave it till we meet again or they get in touch. IF they don't get in touch it's clearly not meant to be. Read my previous post to this one... it's too easy to get hung up. Slow down, keep at arms length and take it all in and don't over think it. Have fun, smile and enjoy! :)
 
secretspy said:
Fair enough but my original point isn't he's sending mixed signals because I haven't heard from him, it's because of how he behaves in person.

My only comment about him not replying was to my recent text.
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Random question to you - how many messages do you get off guys, say every week?

Reason I'm asking is that according to the thread, its mostly a guys "job" to message the girl initially, and because they get so many messages it has to be special and attract their attention from the millions of other messages they get daily. Is this true?

I haven't really had much luck with match or pof lately, but then again I'm only on the site once or twice a week. I went out on a date a few months ago and she didn't seem in the slightest bit interested!
 
Raymond Lin said:
Oh, on a side note.

That girl I went out with coffee with a few times a few months ago, then nothing and we have drinks again, then nothing....she's in the radar again.

Ran into her in the supermarket on Sunday and chatted for about 10 minutes and she asked me out?!

"Text me and set something up"

So I did a couple days later, that was Wednesday, now I hear nothing.

Moving on! NEXT !!!! No more games!
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Why did you wait a few days to reply? Wasn't the whole wait a few days before reply rubbish was it?

secretspy said:
Well I thought I was perhaps over analysing what he's said on dates but in the this instant and moment thread quite a few lads said it was odd or to quote Zefan he was "being an idiot"

All I'm merely trying to do is work out if he is interested or not because he's giving me mixed signals. I havent been shirty about it in the text I kept it polite and said I was still happy to meet.

I sent the text so that I stop analysing things and just get to the point. Dont see the harm in saying to someone "are you interested because I'm getting mixed messages" :confused:
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Zefan's comment is based on what you've said, he doesn't know the other person and it was probably said just to make you feel better.

I agree that you should get things out in the open but I wouldn't have done it through text, a rough plan was made to meet on Sunday so why couldn't you have waited to bring it up then in person? Where you would get a better response.

From what I'm reading from you, you're coming across as a bit of a crazy person. Generally speaking you don't seem like that on these forums, so I would suggest you chill out :)

I'd also point out that taking advice from men is fine, but don't hang onto what they say, take it on board if you want and come to you're own conclusion.

Moses said:
I have to agree with the overanalysing stuff, as I think I've said before, haha. I mean, if I'd gone out on a second date with anyone, then enjoyed it enough to suggest a actual day for a third, it'd surely be reasonably obvious I was interested, no? Then getting a text like,

"thanks for the date, I enjoyed it but feel I'm getting mixed signals. Said I was still happy to meet on Sunday but wanted to check first"

Would, in all honesty, make the crazy alarm go off, somewhat. Idk, it's obvious he wants to go out again (on a date, so therefore obviously likes you enough for that, right?), and getting into some questioning mode over ~mixed signals~, via text, is just awk to the max.
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Yeah I agree.
 
We all make mistakes in terms of signals and that. Sometimes you can be a bit too pushy or come across wrong, it's just happens especially when emotions are involved.

Tbh I wouldn't care if I was that guy, ss is beautiful so would be like :D
 
I'm just going to stop talking from now on and throw my phone away. Seems the safest option :p

thanks cHk4. Phate dont forget you're shorter than me so I could easily kick your butt :p
 
I can't even rememeber which site I was on, anyway 9 years ago I met my wife online. Was not looking for a gf etc, it was just a friends sites for some fun. We have now been married 8 years with 4 kids, I wish I knew the name of the site because it has ruined my life and I want to warn others :)

Joking we are still happy as ever.
 
2 successful dates this week with very nice women, a different one arranged for Wednesday, a slow burner in another country.., and ive just replied to 2 more messages, which i told myself i wouldnt do until these had worked out or not..

the longer im single the worse im getting, and im putting all my blame into these websites, and my lack of self control, in all honesty 1 good woman would be enough, so im heading down a route where im going to have an awkward chat with 1 or 2 of them in the future :( i dont enjoy that part at all :(
 
secretspy said:
Oh and the last guy kept meeting me but he wasn't interested as he didn't think we'd work out long term
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Hrm, not really surprised that happened if you put "Looking for: Friends".

You're maybe intending it to mean: "Looking to meet new people and if I find someone I like, I'm open to a relationship", but other people have no way of knowing whether you want friends, a relationship, or are just wasting their time (which I know you're not!), unfortunately. :)
 
No with the last guy it was different. Initially I only saw him as a friend so when he suggested meeting I said "only as friends" and he was fine with that. Then after the 3rd date he held my hand and kissed me and said he wasn't sure if he'd picked up the signals wrong and then I explained I had it as looking for friends but I did want long term. (When I rejoined I wanted to start off very slowly, then I hadn't changed it because I found it was a good way to get rid of the weirdos)

He said he didn't think it would work long term as he felt I wasn't being open or comfortable around him.

I know I've been an idiot with this new guy but nothing I can do about it now.
 
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So after breaking up with a girl about 2 weeks ago I've been going out a lot to clubs again to try and find another girl! So last night I went to Broad Street (Birmingham). Decided to try and pull some girls, but I couldn't force myself to do it cause 95% of the girls are so trampy. Which is expected!

I thought I would find at least one decent girl but I realised that wasn't going to happen. I guess I'll just have to be patient and hopefully meet a girl in everyday life instead of in clubs and bars.

Or maybe I just need to stop being so desperate! haha :(!
 
Yeh I'm on a few free sites, I don't see the point in paying for sites like match, I feel they rip you off to be honest!

However I'm in no rush to find anyone, nor do I go out 'pulling' :P
 
I am totally sucking at this lark, split up with my gf of 3 years about 6-8 weeks ago so joined up and i only get messaged by birds i don't like!! The girls i message never reply.

Does the lovely OCUK community offer a POF profile critque?? :)
 
i can give you a very honest opinion, if you can take criticism ;),

shallow as it sounds, photos make the biggest difference ive found, i slapped a smily photo as my main pic and boom lots more messages, the profile does make a difference, it can be used to deflect the kind of people you dont want to meet and hopefully the ones you do too, its not foolproof though :D
 
ninjabib said:
I am totally sucking at this lark, split up with my gf of 3 years about 6-8 weeks ago so joined up and i only get messaged by birds i don't like!! The girls i message never reply.

Does the lovely OCUK community offer a POF profile critque?? :)
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Gotta fish with dynamite mate - hit em hard and frequently. Also lower your standards, if you're on POF you're already scraping the barrel.
 
People I would like your opinion on this,

Im trying to change just a little from my nice guy image, I seem to be "to nice" I make women laugh but I have no killer instinct....So I appear to have set my sights quite high.

Friend of mine who I have known for 8 years, We dont see much of each other maybe once every couple of months on nights out etc, anyway The other evening I go invited along by her sister boyfriend so there ended up being 2 couples + her and myself.
Over the course of the evening they kept saying my last name wrong....Turns out she has introduced me to all these people by saying my last name wrongly!
Chatting to a friend Im tempted to send a bit of a cheeky messege, something along the lines of
"hey youve known me for ages but cant even get my name right, fancy a date?" or something along those lines.......thoughts?
 
DiCe! said:
People I would like your opinion on this,

Im trying to change just a little from my nice guy image, I seem to be "to nice" I make women laugh but I have no killer instinct....So I appear to have set my sights quite high.

Friend of mine who I have known for 8 years, We dont see much of each other maybe once every couple of months on nights out etc, anyway The other evening I go invited along by her sister boyfriend so there ended up being 2 couples + her and myself.
Over the course of the evening they kept saying my last name wrong....Turns out she has introduced me to all these people by saying my last name wrongly!
Chatting to a friend Im tempted to send a bit of a cheeky messege, something along the lines of
"hey youve known me for ages but cant even get my name right, fancy a date?" or something along those lines.......thoughts?
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That text sounds weird to me, there is no link between what your saying and asking for a date.

Maybe " Reckon you would get my name right if we met up again?" or something...
 
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