Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

[Raymond Lin]

Oh, on a side note.

That girl I went out with coffee with a few times a few months ago, then nothing and we have drinks again, then nothing....she's in the radar again.

Ran into her in the supermarket on Sunday and chatted for about 10 minutes and she asked me out?!

"Text me and set something up"

So I did a couple days later, that was Wednesday, now I hear nothing.

Moving on! NEXT !!!! No more games!

 

[secretspy]

The second date went well until he kind of spoilt it at the end with a few things he said and again I left the date feeling even more confused than before. (confused about whether he actually likes me or not) Like before he asked about meeting up again straight away and suggested this Sunday which I said yes to.

I text him as he asked, to let him know I got home safe but this time no response, nothing to say he enjoyed the date (although surely if he hadn't he wouldn't have asked to meet up again )
I decided instead of trying to analyse what the hell is going on I sent a very polite text last night saying thanks for the date, I enjoyed it but feel I'm getting mixed signals. Said I was still happy to meet on Sunday but wanted to check first, hope he was well etc etc. No response at all.
It came up on FB saying he was tagged somewhere so I thought fair enough he's out with friends and probably hasn't looked at his phone but he must've looked at it by now and still nothing...?!?!

Ergo, this might seem harsh but I'm just not going to bother. I'm certainly not going to chase him up. If he texts me then I'll see what it says and go from there but I'm not going to sit here wasting time. As the film says "If a guy is interested in you, he will make it happen"

I have been on pof for ages saying I'm only looking for friendship but I'm going to change it now. Kind of don't want to as it helps keep the weirdos away but at the same time it's possibly keeping other guys away who want the same thing

 

[-Ad-]

SS you really need to stop over analysing anything and everything.

Us men forget little things like cutey texts or just don't bother with them altogether, it's an alpha thing.

I'm more of a zeta though, so wanna shnugglewuggle?!

 

[secretspy]

Well I thought I was perhaps over analysing what he's said on dates but in the this instant and moment thread quite a few lads said it was odd or to quote Zefan he was "being an idiot"

All I'm merely trying to do is work out if he is interested or not because he's giving me mixed signals. I havent been shirty about it in the text I kept it polite and said I was still happy to meet.

I sent the text so that I stop analysing things and just get to the point. Dont see the harm in saying to someone "are you interested because I'm getting mixed messages"

 

[Raymond Lin]

Well I thought I was perhaps over analysing what he's said on dates but in the this instant and moment thread quite a few lads said it was odd or to quote Zefan he was "being an idiot"

All I'm merely trying to do is work out if he is interested or not because he's giving me mixed signals. I havent been shirty about it in the text I kept it polite and said I was still happy to meet.

I sent the text so that I stop analysing things and just get to the point. Dont see the harm in saying to someone "are you interested because I'm getting mixed messages"

If all girls are like you who are better at text after a date, all I get are flakers! (a bit like the guy you are seeing)

 

[-Ad-]

Well I thought I was perhaps over analysing what he's said on dates but in the this instant and moment thread quite a few lads said it was odd or to quote Zefan he was "being an idiot"

All I'm merely trying to do is work out if he is interested or not because he's giving me mixed signals. I havent been shirty about it in the text I kept it polite and said I was still happy to meet.

I sent the text so that I stop analysing things and just get to the point. Dont see the harm in saying to someone "are you interested because I'm getting mixed messages"

Fair enough, thanks for clarifying I skimmed your post earlier.

He does seem a bit 'on the fence' shall we say. Might be hedging his bets with others or might not be bothered, either way not helpful to you.

Hope you get some resolution so you can either move on with him or dump that fish back into the bowl and cast your line out to sea for some fine Swordfish!

 

[MisChief]

I've given up trying
Haven't been on PoF for a while (hid my profile) and I intend to keep it that way.

If a guy shows interest in me, great. I'll give as much attention as I receive.
If a guy shows no interest, **** off to be quite frank. I have better things to do with my time.

I have a 'take it or leave it' attitude, and I think most guys I've met appreciate this kind of attitude.

/Independent woman.

 

[Immsy]

I've given up trying
Haven't been on PoF for a while (hid my profile) and I intend to keep it that way.

If a guy shows interest in me, great. I'll give as much attention as I receive.
If a guy shows no interest, **** off to be quite frank. I have better things to do with my time.

I have a 'take it or leave it' attitude, and I think most guys I've met appreciate this kind of attitude.

/Independent woman.

Thats deffo the right attitude to have

 

[secretspy]

I've given up trying
Haven't been on PoF for a while (hid my profile) and I intend to keep it that way.

If a guy shows interest in me, great. I'll give as much attention as I receive.
If a guy shows no interest, **** off to be quite frank. I have better things to do with my time.

I have a 'take it or leave it' attitude, and I think most guys I've met appreciate this kind of attitude.

/Independent woman.

That's exactly how I feel. I refuse to waste my time on people who are just not bothering and my gut instinct is always right so I've decided it's about time I listen to it!

 

[Phate]

I've given up trying
Haven't been on PoF for a while (hid my profile) and I intend to keep it that way.

If a guy shows interest in me, great. I'll give as much attention as I receive.
If a guy shows no interest, **** off to be quite frank. I have better things to do with my time.

I have a 'take it or leave it' attitude, and I think most guys I've met appreciate this kind of attitude.

/Independent woman.

It's the best way to be, people say the best thing is not to look then you'll find someone.

I haven't been looking for ages so I think everyone must be lost

 

[secretspy]

I tried that for a couple of years. It didn't work but then where am I likely to meet them if I'm either at work or home Guys I've met in bars, pubs, clubs etc even through friends and just definitely not my type

As my Cosmo mag once said "if you wanted a new job would you sit there and wait for one to find you?"

And if you weren't looking they'd still have to be to find you, so if no one looks then how would that work ?

 

[Ahleckz]

...

 

[cHk4]

Us men forget little things like cutey texts or just don't bother with them altogether, it's an alpha thing.

I don't I never have.
It's not that I'm not alpha, I've always been the "head" of the group and have never had any issues asserting my alphaness so what you said is not strictly true.

I messaged you once on PoF SS and think I even told you it was me, hope you're well.

 

[krooton]

Or is playing by those other arbitrary rules that some people follow and not contacting you too much to avoid seeming desperate. Dating is an emotional minefield.

 

[cHk4]

Or is playing by those other arbitrary rules that some people follow and not contacting you too much to avoid seeming desperate. Dating is an emotional minefield.

Agreed, I never really understood it. If I liked someone I'd tell them, if I didn't I'd tell them. Not too bloody hard to do tbh but you're right some people are just plain weird.

 

[secretspy]

Ok I see your point but my point is I feel I'm getting mixed signals. Not just by text but in person as well.
The last guy I met up with took things I was saying the wrong way and was getting the wrong impression from me but he never said anything just started to behave differently towards me. Once he finally did and I explained how I'd meant something he said "ohhhhh oops!" So if he had just mentioned it sooner, it would've been resolved quicker.

I only sent the text because others said it was odd as well and last time I had this my counsellor suggested just coming out and asking. I also asked Phate if he thought it was a good idea to text it or not and he said yes.

It really doesn't matter now. What's done is done. I don't really care if he's the sort of guy to jump to conclusions and assume I'm a psycho merely because I've said I'm getting mixed signals A guy said to me he thought I wasn't comfortable around him when I was. I didn't think "OMG what a nutjob" I just thought, ok he's reading things the wrong way

I haven't sent a text saying "oh you never text me? do you like me?" etc etc all I've said is, I had a good time, happy to meet again but I feel i'm getting mixed signals from you so not sure if you're that interested.

Ahleckz you say Moses is speaking sense...he says "if I'd gone out on a second date with anyone, then enjoyed it enough to suggest a actual day for a third, it'd surely be reasonably obvious I was interested, no?" (btw what do you mean "actual day"? he asked asked to hang out during the day time he wants to meet me in the evening again)

But then you're saying
"He may have been being polite and just saying he wanted another date but really doesn't and is ignoring you"



Doesn't that kind of prove my point? He wants to meet again so I take it as he's interested, then he'll make a few comments and it feels like he's talking to a friend rather than a girl he's interested in and trying to impress.

And if I was a psycho I'd be chasing him up and I'm not. I'm getting mixed signals, I want to find out if I'm wasting my time, I haven't had a response. End of.
Oh and the last guy kept meeting me but he wasn't interested as he didn't think we'd work out long term

 

[secretspy]

I was planning to see how it goes but all was said about the third date was Sunday evening. No official plans about when or where. After the first date I was unsure if I liked him, the second date I felt better and more excited to see him and enjoyed it overall. It was just the conversation at the end of it (after he suggested the date) it's hard to explain but up until that point, I had the right vibe from him. Then after I got in the car I thought "what was all that about?"

Not saying Phate is casanova but I was trying to get a male perspective as he had asked how things were. I'm just not going to bother listening to any blokes from now on

My profile was set to looking for friends but further down it says looking for a relationship. I just want to make sure we're on the right page about things

 

[Phate]

Oh sorry, is Phate now Hitch/Casanova? No one else had better say anything, haha .

She's a friend, she asked my opinion, I gave it,

 

[Ahleckz]

....

 

[secretspy]

My point is simple, accusing someone of sending mixed signals when all they've done is been a bit distant for a day or two could freak some blokes out.

Fair enough but my original point isn't he's sending mixed signals because I haven't heard from him, it's because of how he behaves in person.

My only comment about him not replying was to my recent text.