You are a cat, this garden isn't even yours

Status
Not open for further replies.
Install a cat. They stop other cats entering your garden and crap in other peoples gardens, they're also cute and stuff.
 
If you know who the neighbours are then why not go round and ask if they are cat people and do they consider the cat to be one of the family? If they say yes then proceed to remove your trousers lay a gigantic toley in their flowerbeds.

If they are outraged then explain that since their cat is family you figured it was the done thing around here. Be sure to inform them that you will pass the message on to your family that it is ok for them to take a crap in your neighbours flowrbeds, especially if they have forgotten their keys and are locked out for example.

When the police arrive, and lets face it they probably will, you must calmly state your case. Explain that you were merely under the impression that since this is such a welcoming yet strangely odd neighbourhood (there may be scope for some kind of TV soap based around this im not sure) where cats are considered family and crapping in flowerbeds is commonplace you were merely adopting local customs.

If it is explained to you that your actions are a breach of common decency laws you must then explain that on those grounds you wish to make a similar complaint regarding your neighbours family crapping in your flowerbeds. Demand that the cat is tried as a human and also request a charge of public nudity is also added.

If you are arrested and go to jail then you no longer have a garden for cats to crap in so you win on a technicality. If you are merely fined then I am willing to bet the neighbours will ensure that their cat, and any other member of their family, will stay well away from the crazies that live at your house. So once again you win!

/Salsa

Edit: Im also suprised Tummy has not yet appeared to suggest microwaving the cat!
 
Last edited:
Nightglow said:
Had same problem a few years back, my solution was simple.

Went to local cat & dogs home, borrowed a cat trap, baited it with some fish & placed it where cats were crapping.

Took a few day to catch both cats, but I did, then I got a friend who was going to Scotland, some 500 miles away to take them & release them there.

They never came back.:D
Click to expand...

LOL
 
bloodiedathame said:
I wouldn't take a dump in my own back garden, I'd definitely use yours instead.
Click to expand...

Yeah, the mulch/bark texture is great on your posterior isn't it? :).

Meths said:
I scoop the cat poo up with a spade and launch it back into the cat owners garden.

Doesn't stop them doing it but makes me feel a bit better.
Click to expand...

Ooh, maybe you could setup a catapult and scoop the poop into that. Get your wife and that house-guard-child person to join in. Make it a family activity!


Nightglow said:
The friend who took the cats was a lorry driver, & just happen that on the day he was going to Aberdeen, another day could have been Devon.
Em3bbs Back in 1993, few cats were chipped.
Click to expand...

You're either a troll or a goit. Most likely a mixture of both. Go away.
 
Paprika, Chilli Powder and Pepper have all been mentioned. It does work. We sprinkled loads of Cayenne Pepper around where next doors Tabby was doing it's business in our gravel. It stopped it.
 
Nightglow said:
Had same problem a few years back, my solution was simple.

Went to local cat & dogs home, borrowed a cat trap, baited it with some fish & placed it where cats were crapping.

Took a few day to catch both cats, but I did, then I got a friend who was going to Scotland, some 500 miles away to take them & release them there.

They never came back.:D
Click to expand...

That is absolutely awful, you had no right to do that to someones pets! What a ****!
 
Chasser said:
Paprika, Chilli Powder and Pepper have all been mentioned. It does work. We sprinkled loads of Cayenne Pepper around where next doors Tabby was doing it's business in our gravel. It stopped it.
Click to expand...

Would stop me too if every time i went for a jobbie someone had smeared the seat with spices. :eek:

/Salsa
 
The first two years after moving into my house I tried to grow veggies in my garden. I've given up now. The plans they don't dig up are covered in **** my the time they're ready to eat. Short of killing them or putting nets over everything there's not much you can do.

AmTechFox said:
That is absolutely awful, you had no right to do that to someones pets! What a ****!
Click to expand...
I agree, but equally the pet has no right to **** in his garden. It's disgusting and dangerous. It gets on your hands when you do gardening, then feet and gets trodden all round the house and it's impossible to get of your shoes.

I think by law every cat should ware a tag stating the address of it owner. Any cat see going on your property should mean you can post it's business through the owners letterbox.

And I consider myself someone who likes cats.
 
Last edited:
I really dislike cats and dogs for this reason. They make a mess wherever they go and yet nobody is allowed to complain about it or you get called all the names under the sun.

Personally I think they should be limited to one dog or cat per household and even that wouldnt really solve the OPs problem.
 
Craig1981 said:
I really dislike cats and dogs for this reason. They make a mess wherever they go and yet nobody is allowed to complain about it or you get called all the names under the sun.

Personally I think they should be limited to one dog or cat per household and even that wouldnt really solve the OPs problem.
Click to expand...

Most dog owners are responsible and pick up their dogs mess. Most dog owners don't let their dogs roam and crap everywhere. Cats are just horrible.........
 
[FnG]magnolia;21067574 said:
One or both of the cats from our neighbours directly opposite us is/are now using our flower beds as their personal cat toilets. This is unacceptable. I recently put down new mulch/bark and I wonder if they think it's kitty litter or whatever the hell it is that cats normally poo into and then dig holes to cover.

I need some tips on how to stop this. I don't like cats - especially ones that crap in my recently barked/mulched flower beds - so give me your best shot.
Click to expand...

Just get an air rifle and shoot it in it's stupid cat face.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom