Wow that is going to be one nasty divorce
(that really was a joke!)
I am jealous of your marriage. My wife is far to unstable for such a situation.
Do you have seperate money from your wife?
- Thread starter LiE
- Start date
Wow that is going to be one nasty divorce
(that really was a joke!)
I am jealous of your marriage. My wife is far to unstable for such a situation.
Soldato
- Joined
- 10 Mar 2009
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- 4,473
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- South West
[FnG]magnolia;22613864 said:
Nope, my sentiments as well.
Allocate £x to buy stuff for each other..
My Mrs (engaged) and I have our own current accounts. I also have a second account which I transfer an amount into monthly to cover living costs, which we pretty much split down the middle.. For example, I do electricity, she does council tax, I do Phone/internet, she does TV, etc.
So, my shared costs go into my second account.
I then have my current account with my "own money" in it, and she has her own current and savings account.
We take it in turns to pay for things generally, although we don't really keep track, its just a quick "is it my turn?" and then we decide who pays for what.
Generally, I pay for meals out, but then we split things like cinema. She will buy tickets, and I buy the food.
We use each others cars too sometimes, and if we get to empty we fill them up, even though mine costs a lot more that hers to fill, and does less miles! However, we do all long trips in my car so I absorb those petrol costs.
In all honesty, we just bumble along and dont really think about it. We may join up in the future, as it really will make no difference in the long run. But I think we will always have some form of our own savings for our own treats
I think this is exactly how me and the misses will do things in all likely hood.
She aint using my car though. Put that rule in from day one.
My wife is "too good" with money. Too much of a saver, if we had a joint bank account I'd have to eat home made sandwiches, cancel game subscriptions and have zero spending money each month. This is despite me earning high 5 figure salary. I'd have to account for EVERY SINGLE PENNY each month of the money I had earned.
If I want to buy my wife something or do something for her and keep it a secret I use my credit card. Equally she does the same.
In any case neither of us question the spending habits of each other unless there is a danger of going overdrawn or the purchase is expensive, in which case we would discuss an expensive outlay prior to purchase anyway.
My wife being an accountant helps as she budgets for pretty much everything, including my predilection to spend excessive amounts of money on gadgets and tech. Likewise she buys daft amounts of shoes and bags.....
I can see merits to both approaches. I'd veer in favour of separate accounts though, with possibly a joint account for bills but not for paying salaries into.
And I think that people who view separate accounts as evidence of a lack of love or trust are over-simplifying. There could be any number of reasons why it makes sense to have separate finances. My partner has a condition that renders her much more susceptible than others to impulse spending. She has ways of keeping it under control, but the added pressure of having what she sees as 'my' money in there too would stress her out too much.
And I think that people who view separate accounts as evidence of a lack of love or trust are over-simplifying. There could be any number of reasons why it makes sense to have separate finances. My partner has a condition that renders her much more susceptible than others to impulse spending. She has ways of keeping it under control, but the added pressure of having what she sees as 'my' money in there too would stress her out too much.
Seperate accounts. Half the rent comes out of each of our accounts. If we can't split the cost of something we pay each other back within a couple of days.
We've lent each other large amounts of money when needed with no problems, we just agree when it will be paid back by. For example my gf lent me €3500 a few weeks ago.
We've lent each other large amounts of money when needed with no problems, we just agree when it will be paid back by. For example my gf lent me €3500 a few weeks ago.
Many people are saying joint things are done jointly, why is having a piece of yourself bad? Not everyone wants to become a single entity when they get married.
Seperate accounts. Half the rent comes out of each of our accounts. If we can't split the cost of something we pay each other back within a couple of days.
We've lent each other large amounts of money when needed with no problems, we just agree when it will be paid back by. For example my gf lent me €3500 a few weeks ago.
We've lent each other large amounts of money when needed with no problems, we just agree when it will be paid back by. For example my gf lent me €3500 a few weeks ago.
Many people are saying joint things are done jointly, why is having a piece of yourself bad? Not everyone wants to become a single entity when they get married.
Who said they did.....who said we did.....I do my own thing, she does hers. Financial unity doesn't stop that, in fact given my ineptitude with financial planning, financial unity has enabled me to do things I would never have been able to do otherwise.
Like I said each to their own, what works for us may not work for others, although it appears that many people (married) live as they did when they were dating (I'm not refering to anyone in the thread in particular) and that (to my wife and I) seems counter to how we define the difference between the committment of marriage (or one aspect of it) and the committment we had as an unmarried couple who lived together.
In a relationship of equals there is no right or wrong way.....as long as each are happy and it works.
We do the same
couldnt have put it better
everything goes into joint accounts...we have a transfer set up that dumps enough into a seperate account that pays all the bills..so all household direct debits are set up against that account
whats left is for us....we both respect each other not to do stupid things that would leave us short and we have done it this way for nearly 20 years with no problems
we both have our own hobbies that require money..but again I would never just go out and spend hundreds of pounds on a fishing rod without saying anything..we plan large purchases between us even if it only is for the benefit of one of us