My ex-girlfriend died

CurryWurst

CurryWurst

CurryWurst

Permabanned
Joined
8 Sep 2012
Posts
9
I don't post much (longtime lurker). Need to get this off my chest and telling you lot may help.

Just heard the news that my ex-girlfriend died completely unexpectedly. Don't know why or how, don't know if I want to know.

I feel partially responsible. I ignored her last message and went out of my way to avoid her generally. I dunno why. She wanted to be friends, i could tell she was trying to send me nice & fun messages to make conversation but i blocked almost all her attempts. I dunno why. It's not like I didn't want to talk, i guess i thought we could talk later. But later is never gonna come now :(

I'm gutted. Wish I'd have talked to her all those times she clearly wanted to talk. I'll never get the chance to talk to her again, or to tell her how much she means to me. Now she's dead and probably thought I wanted nothing to do with her :(

I'm gonna go for a walk, took the day off work but staying in makes me feel worse.
 
I hope you're alright mate. Sometimes in these situations you just need to let people know, get it off your chest. You never expected this to happen, don't beat yourself up about not replying to those messages.
 
You shouldn't feel partially responsible. You cannot fix people whether you want to or not.

Having said that, I'm sorry to hear your news. It must be pretty grim to get that kind of news.
 
OP - Sorry to hear this, don't beat yourself up though, that can be a bad road to head down.
 
Last edited:
Kamwah said:
Did you know? And is never the start of a sentence =/
Click to expand...

You missed a full stop at the end of your sentence.

Edit: The end of the day OP, i go through times where i don't speak to any of my ex-girlfriends because i don't think i could be friends with them after being with them, and to this day i'm not friends or talk with any of my ex-girlfriends despite they try to get in contact with me. You probably do/did at that time the same thing i do, but none of this you should feel responsible for whatsoever.
 
Last edited:
Sorry to hear this, when you break up with someone severing is the best and easiest option for both sides in terms of allowing both to move on, so don't feel bad for trying to get some space, it will have allowed her to try and move on as well. Don't feel guilty, it was the best thing to do and sadly was cut short.
 
CurryWurst said:
I don't post much (longtime lurker). Need to get this off my chest and telling you lot may help.

Just heard the news that my ex-girlfriend died completely unexpectedly. Don't know why or how, don't know if I want to know.

I feel partially responsible. I ignored her last message and went out of my way to avoid her generally. I dunno why. She wanted to be friends, i could tell she was trying to send me nice & fun messages to make conversation but i blocked almost all her attempts. I dunno why. It's not like I didn't want to talk, i guess i thought we could talk later. But later is never gonna come now :(

I'm gutted. Wish I'd have talked to her all those times she clearly wanted to talk. I'll never get the chance to talk to her again, or to tell her how much she means to me. Now she's dead and probably thought I wanted nothing to do with her :(

I'm gonna go for a walk, took the day off work but staying in makes me feel worse.
Click to expand...

It's not your fault mate, so don't feel like it is. It's natural to think of all the "what if's" when someone dies. God knows I did it when my dad passed, but you have to just remember the good parts and know that everyone makes mistakes in life.

Sorry to hear anyway. Going for a walk is a good idea. Stay active, maybe give the house a bit of a clean or something to help you not to dwell on it too much. Give a mate a ring and have a chat, it always helps to say the things you have in your head so you can hear how they sound.
 
Sorry to hear about that mate, don't beat yourself up i'd do the same thing.

Ignore the child trying to get attention too.
 
I'm sorry to hear this. Even more so as it sounds like a recent relationship. Don't beat yourself up about it - you both know your last words (or lack of them) pale in comparison to the time you had together.
 
Sorry to hear your sad news. :( You’ve had a shock and you have no reason to feel partially responsible for anything. The feeling will pass, it’s just a normal reaction. Have a big hug, don’t sit around fretting and now go and get yourself busy for the rest of the day.
 
Cheers for all the thoughtful posts, no clue what kamwah said. I did expect some negativity to be honest.

I know it's probably normal to go through the what if phase. I'm feeling very numb at the moment.

I wanted to be friends but it's hard to understand or explain why I didn't give her the time of the day. I broke up with her because we couldn't be together due to reasons that weren't within our control. Maybe it was easier for me to avoid her, I dunno. I know she would've died even if i had responded, but then she would've known that i still cared.

Looking at her FB is devastating, everyone's shocked. She was young & healthy. I'm gonna see if any of my friends are available, being alone in the house is nerve-wracking.
 
BoonMonkey said:
You used a capital for "and" just then. Capitals are at the start of sentences. Well done.


OP, ignore this tool.
Click to expand...


24121612.jpg


PS. Sorry to hear the bad news :(
 
:( my condolences for your loss.

Just remember you are not responsible for her death. A day off and a bit of time to chat to friends and family is an excellent idea along with a walk and some time to clear your head :)
 
Sorry to hear this OP :(

This may sound daft, but remember to have food and drink today. When you're in emotional shock, you can quickly forget to do the most basic things to look after yourself, and you'll start feeling even worse.
 
Kamwah said:
Did you know? And is never the start of a sentence =/
Click to expand...
It's the start of your second sentence though! And you missed a full stop!





Very sorry for the OP, try not to blame yourself, it is easy to but you don't have hindsight at the time and we all have regrets when someone we know dies, even if you knew in advance that it was going to happen soon, we wish we had done things differently.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom