Has to be fresh microwaveable noodles for me, none of this powder magic nonsense.
After a recent meeting of The Supreme Grand Council, Syria has announced a full ban on all flavours of Pot Noodles, possession of which is to be punishable by death.
The move was taken after a study of Pot Noodle ingredients revealed they ‘contain absolutely nothing resembling anything natural’.
A government spokesmen made the announcement at a recent assault on a town of protesters:
We don’t respect human rights — blah, blah, blah. So what?! But one thing we do respect is human life. Nothing good ever came from eating a Pot Noodle, and eating them is certainly not helping people live.
Pot Noodles have been blamed for a recent spate of blindness in Kansas, riots in the UK and a man in Paris who claimed to be a direct descendant of Sherlock Holmes.
Scientists have long struggled to determine the exact contents of a serving.
There’s bits in there that look and smell like meat, look and smell like veg, but the fact they glow in the dark tells a very different story.
The makers of Pot Noodle have said that they’re aware of the ban and are working with the government to resolve any problems.
We’re working towards something slightly more edible. We would also like to point out that no Syrians were harmed in the eating of Pot Noodles.
