There's no quick fix I'm afraid. Time is the only healer. Go out, meet friends, enjoy life, meet another girl, take up a hobby; just get your mind off things and go from there.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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There's no quick fix I'm afraid. Time is the only healer. Go out, meet friends, enjoy life, meet another girl, take up a hobby; just get your mind off things and go from there.
Keep yourself busy and allow yourself to feel angry/upset. A lot of people, myself included just done the former hoping the latter would go away after time. You're merely just delaying it and it's worse when it happens a couple of months down the line when you start feeling anger/upset when they move on. Just puts you back a couple of paces so deal with it now.
Sound advice. Constantly going through the angry/upset stage and as a couple of friends have said, I can't keep blaming myself and picking up on faults. I made mistakes but all humans do.
Probably sounds odd but I don't feel like I have anything to work towards now. I have a good career which is only going to get better but work is work after all. I really thought we were working towards a future together
. She's irreplaceable.
Probably sounds odd but I don't feel like I have anything to work towards now. I have a good career which is only going to get better but work is work after all. I really thought we were working towards a future together
. She's irreplaceable.Sound advice. Constantly going through the angry/upset stage and as a couple of friends have said, I can't keep blaming myself and picking up on faults. I made mistakes but all humans do.
Probably sounds odd but I don't feel like I have anything to work towards now. I have a good career which is only going to get better but work is work after all. I really thought we were working towards a future together
It may feel that way now, but everytime i've split from someone who left a large hole in my life, someone eventually arrives to replace it. It just takes time i'm afraid.
Do things you like doing for you, not as a couple. Enjoy being single for a while.
We lived about 45 minutes apart so we didn't see each other a lot (2-3 times a week max). The only thing I can do more of is meet new people and gym, being single doesn't really give me any other possibilities? Like I said, I'm going to hit the gym hard and get back to pre-relationship confidence!
Sound advice. Constantly going through the angry/upset stage and as a couple of friends have said, I can't keep blaming myself and picking up on faults. I made mistakes but all humans do.
Probably sounds odd but I don't feel like I have anything to work towards now. I have a good career which is only going to get better but work is work after all. I really thought we were working towards a future together
No one is irreplaceable, you'll see that in time. But that's the key, it's time. You'll have highs, lows, times where you're lonely, times when you're angry, but you'll get through it and everything will be fine.
As selfish as it sounds, I'm hoping it doesn't take too long because I feel awful at the moment. Normal to feel sick at the thought of her being with someone else?
Perfectly normal. Just rough it out and you'll come out of the other side a stronger man.
Normal to feel sick at the thought of her being with someone else?
I've been there many times and I'm willing to bet the vast majority of people you know/OCUK members have too. It's completely normal and I promise you that feeling with fade. Guaranteed.
Exactly. Everyone one is different to how long it takes to get over someone, but I promise you will.
You only ever really truly get over someone, once you're healed and have got with someone else. Enjoy the single life, it's a blast! Keep your chin up, moping around won't help.
Hopefully it won't be long before something else pops into my head when I first wake up. I don't want to be moping around forever. The saying 'you only appreciate something when its gone' is so true right now.
I miss the little things unique to her, not sex/company/intimacy etc.
Thanks for the help though lads, I appreciate it! Now to try and sleep.. :/
I miss the little things unique to her, not sex/company/intimacy etc.
Thanks for the help though lads, I appreciate it! Now to try and sleep.. :/
Again, completely normal. You'll find eventually it'll start hurting less and less until it just doesn't bother you any more. Her loss.
Also, if you haven't done it already cut all ties with her. Block+remove from Facebook, delete photos, emails, texts, trigger objects that remind you of her. You'll only find that it'll prolong your healing process.
You'll be fine dude. You're not the first person to go through this and you sure as hell won't be the last. It's a natural part of life for pretty much all of us.
Things will return to normal and everything will calm down. Just ride the emotional storm, don't ignore your feelings and do things that you enjoy. Chances are you won't meet someone straight away or be having a stream of girls coming your way. Take your time. It's ok not to rush and its ok to be sad
Your friend is clearly worried about your futureA friend's comment to me the other day: "You should just get one of those mail order brides off the internet. I don't even think it's frowned upon these days".
What!?
Your friend is clearly worried about your future
Not that I would consider it, but I'd wager many of those "buy-a-bride" girls will leave you once they have citizenship and a passport!
I do know a guy who got a Russian bride from a website though, he's got 2 kids with her now, they've been together for years! 
In other relationship news, my sister has finally seen sense and gotten rid of her manipulative knob of a boyfriend. Thank the gods for that.
She removed me on Facebook and I've deleted the majority of her friends, no idea if she has done the same. Taken all photos/reminders down and put them away, also deleted old e-mails. Cutting everything is the wise thing to do but in the back of my mind, I'm tempted to keep stuff in case we get back together (which we won't and tbh I don't know if I actually want to).
I still can't believe in the space of 20 minutes I've lost a best friend who I'll probably never ever speak to or see again. I actually can't get my head around it.
Soldato
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You are seriously thinking of that?!
I thought the same as you when I broke up with my gf. Now, I'm actually happy, and asking myself why i didn't do it before!!
You'll find other friends, trust me.
Although I still have her on facebook. And I am still friends with her friends
Although the ones I have are not very close to her anymoreDon't keep a thing, it'll make the whole thing easier. That's from experience.
Soldato
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- 29 Sep 2010
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Thought i'd give this a go to see everyones opinions.
What would you say a reasonable time to text back is?
Girl ive been seeing,been out for food, cinema etc been cool, kissed each other on both dates.. She used to reply ridiculously fast, now she takes like an hour or so, but will then reply quickly for about 20 mins then do it again, doesn't sound a lot but feels it after being used to what it was like a week or so ago, mind games!
Also ive played her at the same game as I dont want to seem to keen.
What would you say a reasonable time to text back is?
Girl ive been seeing,been out for food, cinema etc been cool, kissed each other on both dates.. She used to reply ridiculously fast, now she takes like an hour or so, but will then reply quickly for about 20 mins then do it again, doesn't sound a lot but feels it after being used to what it was like a week or so ago, mind games!
Also ive played her at the same game as I dont want to seem to keen.