The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

ManLoveRulesOK said:
Things are already different, I feel lost for words and don't know what to say. I've been there for her and been strong for her since day one. You hit the nail on the head as far as her mum there.

I'm trying to feel my feels and let her know but I basically get ignored or told to shut up.

We are trying to do "couple" time, we went bowling saturday and we're going out for a meal thursday. I don't think I can get over this though, I feel too strongly about what I wanted and feel so hurt/let down that she has changed her mind like this.

I'm taking care of myself best as I can, I went into work friday hoping it would distract me a little but it didn't help. I was there an hour before I asked for a word in private with one of the management team, I barely managed 3 words explaining what was wrong before I broke down into tears.
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then how about taking a couple of days to yourself? no contact, no fb, just you time, films? games? books? just try to feel better in yourself, that always helps and it will help the situation.

i understand you feel strongly and completley understand why you cant get over it. But dont rush into ending things or anything, just take it one day at a time, they same time is a good healer......to me its never been a healer, you just learn to deal with things.

but it seems to me that this whole thing is out of your hands, and i would strongly advice you focus on making yourself feel better and let the decsion play out by its self and not make any decsions till something is concrete.
 
FatFishMonster said:
then how about taking a couple of days to yourself? no contact, no fb, just you time, films? games? books? just try to feel better in yourself, that always helps and it will help the situation.

i understand you feel strongly and completley understand why you cant get over it. But dont rush into ending things or anything, just take it one day at a time, they same time is a good healer......to me its never been a healer, you just learn to deal with things.

but it seems to me that this whole thing is out of your hands, and i would strongly advice you focus on making yourself feel better and let the decsion play out by its self and not make any decsions till something is concrete.
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I'm not going to rush into ending things as it isn't what I want, I belive with time things will be "back" to normal.

Closing my self off from everyone/thing for a day or two won't help me, I need to be around people. I deal with things by talking, which is where the problem is at the moment as she doesn't deal with talking well and shuts herself off from her problems.

I'm currently trying to focus on the little things I will now be able to buy/have/enjoy that I wouldn't have been able to with a baby on the way like that new car that would have been to expensive to run and a home server/NAS
 
Nuttah said:
Two wrongs do not make a right. He knows the situation, he knows she is ******* around behind someone's back, and is happy to be part of that ******* around. Not right. Simple as.
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I live to please it seems...

I'm happy with what's happening, she is too. The other bloke god knows, but but that's not between me and him, it's between her and him. I kind of wish sometimes there was no him, but I play the hand I'm dealt.
 
dante6491 said:
I live to please it seems...

I'm happy with what's happening, she is too. The other bloke god knows, but but that's not between me and him, it's between her and him. I kind of wish sometimes there was no him, but I play the hand I'm dealt.
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How would you feel if you were the other bloke tho? The one that didn't know what was going on?

I am no angel and I have done similar to what you are doing now - I cheated on my then boyfriend with an ex a few times. The relationship with the then BF was not good and my ex was a shoulder to cry on. But when I said to my ex that I would end it with my BF to be with him if he wanted it, he ran a mile :rolleyes: Oh I was such a stupid girl when I was 21

The daft thing was, when ever I bumped into that ex (going out around town on nights out or at mutual friends house parties etc) and there was alcohol involved we would always end up kissing or more - regardless if either of us was in a relationship or if we were both single.

In the end, I realised that if I didn't ever see him again I wouldn't be sorry cause every time we got drunk we ended up together.

We are 'friends' on Facebook and every once in a while he will message me and say hi, but that's it. I don't think I have seen him in 4/5 years or so now...

Sounds like your ex is that girl that no matter what there will be unfinished business with her and she will always be 'that girl'...unless one of you walks away and cuts the ties then you will both be in a situation where everyone you or her gets with will get hurt!

There are plenty of single girls out there...go and get one of them and have the 'sexy times' with out the side of guilt
 
Diesel said:
You make it sound so simple. :D
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Its not that hard - we want a guy as much as you want a girl!

This is something that my OH has only just realised...chatting up a girl is like having an interview for sexy times, you have to sell yourself and make them like you enough for a 2nd interview (date) or a job offer ("Coffee back at my place?") ;)

It is true tho!
 
TrixiBuG said:
Its not that hard - we want a guy as much as you want a girl!

This is something that my OH has only just realised...chatting up a girl is like having an interview for sexy times, you have to sell yourself and make them like you enough for a 2nd interview (date) or a job offer ("Coffee back at my place?") ;)

It is true tho!
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Awesome!

I'll take my CV next time, that'll get em :p
 
TrixiBuG said:
Its not that hard - we want a guy as much as you want a girl!

This is something that my OH has only just realised...chatting up a girl is like having an interview for sexy times, you have to sell yourself and make them like you enough for a 2nd interview (date) or a job offer ("Coffee back at my place?") ;)

It is true tho!
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You've just ruined it with the interview analogy. Sounds like hard work now! :D
 
Diesel said:
You've just ruined it with the interview analogy. Sounds like hard work now! :D
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Lol! MEN :rolleyes: :D

Haven't you ever noticed though, that when you go for a interview for something that you know you can do and that you know that you will be amazing at, its a really easy, enjoyable interview(might just be me here :p)? Same with chatting up girls...if you are finding it easy and enjoyable, and she is smiling and giving you all the good vibes then you know that your at least going to get an offer (phone number) :p :p
 
TrixiBuG said:
Lol! MEN :rolleyes: :D

Haven't you ever noticed though, that when you go for a interview for something that you know you can do and that you know that you will be amazing at, its a really easy, enjoyable interview(might just be me here :p)? Same with chatting up girls...if you are finding it easy and enjoyable, and she is smiling and giving you all the good vibes then you know that your at least going to get an offer (phone number) :p :p
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Where do I find these women who smile and give good vibes? :D
 
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