The big children debate

I had no aspirations at all to be a Dad, until my GF became pregnant unexpectedly 2 1/2 years ago (I'm 31 now).

Best thing that ever happened to me becoming a parent, it changes you and your perspective on life massively. Only thing I really live for now is to provide and care for my daughter.
 
stuie said:
Still though again that makes it sound like you are in someway better than people that don't because you are more grown up and responsible, I have the responsibilities of a job, a house, Ive got a pet rottie that I walk feed and look after, what makes having children mean you are the next step up in evolution?
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Are you really comparing looking after a dog to looking after a child? lol :D
 
stuie said:
If anything me not having kids means I'm more evolved and responsible than you are, or maybe inventing fire is still on your to do list?
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I don't think you really understand evolution if you think not procreating is "more evolved".
 
garak112 said:
Most of the people I know with kids (mid twenties) happened 'by accident'. In one couple the girl stopped using contraception because she was worried she was about to get dumped, now the guy is tied down.
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No he isn't, he can walk away all he likes if he isn't happy with the mother. In fact it would be best for the kid for him to go if he feels like that.
 
Morba said:
No he isn't, he can walk away all he likes if he isn't happy with the mother. In fact it would be best for the kid for him to go if he feels like that.
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And thats one of my reasons why I dont want kids.

I understand things happen but I never want to be a single parent or be another man who has multiple kids by different women due to a history of failed relationships.

I was brought up by my mum, its crap not having to home and shout "dad" or "daddy". I have no memory of my mum and dad actually being together. Im one of 7 kids from my dads side (that i know of), to me thats not a good thing and i dont want to turn out like that.
 
OP, why is this an issue for you? Some people have kids and some don't. Some have a choice in this and some don't. There are many, many people who can raise kids and aim for the heady heights of a Lexus (was this a joke?) and a house and all the normal things which normal people do. Equally, there are people who don't want kids or can't have kids and aim for the heady heights of a Lexus and the house and blah blah blah.

You're not a special snow flake here. Not wanting kids is a perfectly valid life choice. Maybe your life would be more fun if you considered what you did want to do instead of obsessing over what other people should not do.
 
[FnG]magnolia;24472208 said:
OP, why is this an issue for you? Some people have kids and some don't. Some have a choice in this and some don't. There are many, many people who can raise kids and aim for the heady heights of a Lexus (was this a joke?) and a house and all the normal things which normal people do. Equally, there are people who don't want kids or can't have kids and aim for the heady heights of a Lexus and the house and blah blah blah.

You're not a special snow flake here. Not wanting kids is a perfectly valid life choice. Maybe your life would be more fun if you considered what you did want to do instead of obsessing over what other people should not do.
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This, paired with your last comment in this thread, has just made me want to have your children.
 
Well no id like an aston martin the lex is just a stop gap.

My life is fun I do what I want when I want to do it my question is why is it people insist of pushing their spawn in my face and then go one about why I should be joining them in their living hell. Its kinda like Jehovah's Witnesses just way less fun to bait
 
stuie said:
Well no id like an aston martin the lex is just a stop gap.

My life is fun I do what I want when I want to do it my question is why is it people insist of pushing their spawn in my face and then go one about why I should be joining them in their living hell. Its kinda like Jehovah's Witnesses just way less fun to bait
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Wouldn't it just be easier to accept that some people are bores?

People that go on and on about their children = boring
People that go on and on about their cars = boring
People that go on and on about "any subject you're not interested in" = boring

Most people that have children and most people that have cars are not boring. it's just the ones that have nothing else in their lives that tend to be this way.
 
stuie said:
Well no id like an aston martin the lex is just a stop gap.

My life is fun I do what I want when I want to do it my question is why is it people insist of pushing their spawn in my face and then go one about why I should be joining them in their living hell. Its kinda like Jehovah's Witnesses just way less fun to bait
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If this is how you get your kicks then you're doing us all a favor by not reproducing.
 
peter_hutson said:
Wouldn't it just be easier to accept that some people are bores?

People that go on and on about their children = boring
People that go on and on about their cars = boring
People that go on and on about "any subject you're not interested in" = boring

Most people that have children and most people that have cars are not boring. it's just the ones that have nothing else in their lives that tend to be this way.
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Oh, I like this view. It'll be overlooked because ~`LETS TALK ABOUT CHILDREN BEING CRAP AND THE TERRIBLE LIFE CHOICES PARENTS HAVE MADE TO INTENTIONALLY RUIN MY LIFE`~ but it's still a pretty great point.
 
stuie said:
... is it people insist of pushing their spawn in my face ....
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I guess it depends what you mean by this. If you're talking about preachy parents and the ones that go on about how wonderful it is all the time, then I'm with you. If you count the kid in the reataurant being a bit noisey or having the audacity to be a child and do children like things that you happen to find annoying, then I'm not.
 
I don't get the automatic inference that not wanting kids means that you are inherently selfish (although many would admit there are selfish reasons for avoiding them). Surely having kids is also selfish on a biological level - you're following the urge to propagate your genes.

I'm not some old miser, I love taking my niece out and spoil her rotten. I'm also told I'm a generous kinda guy and I look after my close friends and family, that's enough fulfilment for me. Life certainly isn't meaningless or empty! :)

In summary, good on people who want kids and can provide them a stable, loving environment. Just don't bang on about it to those who aren't interested and don't treat childlress people/couples like they are some sort of pathetic creatures in need of pity. :p
 
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^ I agree but many of the people in this thread saying that they don't want kids have also added that them being selfish is at least one defining factor in their reasoning. I'm not saying it's a constant but it's at least a thing.
 
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