How do you defeat the temptation of women - other than the wife?

Dimple said:
The number of marriages in England and Wales that end in divorce has fallen to 42%, down from 45% in 2005, according to figures published by the Office for National Statistics.

That means nearly 1 in 2 posters will be cheating or getting cheated on sometime in the future.
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If you make the huge assumption that ALL marriages that fail are because of infidelity.....

Which it isn't, Financial and Communication problems (a combination of both in most cases) are.
 
Bengaboy said:
I think most of you are being a little assuming that I was the one willing to cheat.

I have been going out with my girlfriend for around a year, and she is one of the kindest, loveliest people I know - so I will not be cheating anytime soon. :)

In my job, you see cheating all the time (and which I assume happens in most peoples lifes). A lovely one that sticks in my mind is that we were going to be away for 6 months. A colleague had just had a baby with his newly married wife. He then goes out at every stop around the world to sample each countries prostitutes - this was totally bizarre to me, and couldn't really understand it.

To be honest if I did end up cheating, she would know - I am a bad liar!
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the old friend gag ;) which countries did you visit by the way :D
 
arknor said:
50/50 chance your missus has cheated on you then ;)
I think it says more about your missus circle of friends than anything else.
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I think perhaps it says a little bit more about you not wanting to face up to the harsh realities of life.

As for you knowing 100% she never cheated on you, you know 100% that you dont have any evidence she has cheated on you.

Which isnt the same thing.
 
Castiel said:
If you make the huge assumption that ALL marriages that fail are because of infidelity.....

Which it isn't, Financial and Communication problems (a combination of both in most cases) are.
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I've worked on factories for 33 years and known 100s of seperations and none have been because of money, every one because somebody was messing around.
Even the ones where they said there was nobody else suddenly had someone in tow 2 months later.
However, there have got to be some that split up because of money.
 
Cheating is rampant because monogamy is daft and fairly unnatural in my experience, its a social construct and being above it is amazing, its like being the only sober person at a poker game and seeing everyone else do really dumb things.
 
Whether society is skewed towards monogamy or not, or whether you accept it or not, it's not fair on those that do believe in it and like that moral code. It's very easy to say no to temptation. Temptation leads us down dark paths, especially when we're having to question that decision.
 
atpbx said:
Looking online, anywhere between 54% and 80% of women cheat on their partner, with 20% of the children in relationships not being those of what is believed to be the biological father in the relationship.
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You need to look online a little more carefully, not all sources are equally worth looking at. In fact, the best evidence on infidelity suggests that around 1 in 4 relationships will experience infidelity across their duration (Blow and Hartnett, 2007) while non-paternity rates are best estimated at around 4% (Bellis et al, 2005).
 
Freefaller said:
It's very easy to say no to temptation.
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I don't think this is always true. It's called "temptation" because it is tempting, if it was always very easy to resist it wouldn't be very tempting would it. But that's the choice you make when you enter a monogamous relationship, if you haven't got the will power to do that, more shame on you.
 
Dimple said:
I've worked on factories for 33 years and known 100s of seperations and none have been because of money, every one because somebody was messing around.
Even the ones where they said there was nobody else suddenly had someone in tow 2 months later.
However, there have got to be some that split up because of money.
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In your anecdotal experience that may be true, but broadly I think you will find that Adultery is behind several other given reasons for divorce, high on the list being different ideas and expectations about finances, children, sex. Infidelity is often a result of the former, rather than the cause, if there is infidelity at all.
 
Mr Jack said:
I don't think this is always true. It's called "temptation" because it is tempting, if it was always very easy to resist it wouldn't be very tempting would it. But that's the choice you make when you enter a monogamous relationship, if you haven't got the will power to do that, more shame on you.
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Fair comment :)
 
drunkenmaster said:
Its this morality thing again, someone somewhere decided for everyone how a marraige or in general life SHOULD be and taught everyone else a very narrow definition of how we should do things. It would seem(from experience, my own and every family I know, every friend who has the same stories) that MOST people can't follow this supposedly ideal life which is get married, be happy, never be with anyone else.... but why?

Can someone explain why we can't find someone we enjoy spending time with... and also enjoy spending time with other people. You can find your perfect life partner, but still be attracted to other women and want to have sex with them, but come back and have sex, talk, have kids and go bowling with the woman who you spend most of your time with?

Why cling yourself to one person, insist the only way you can "love" that person is denying any and all new connections with other people. Some people will do that, will only ever enjoy being with their wife, won't be tempted, thats fine. Many other people will get bored, cheat, lie, and break up under bad terms all because you agreed to something there was no need to agree to in the first place.

Its essentially a game of expectations, if you get together with someone and pretend that its normal to find someone and never want any change in your life, then if/when that change happens you get disappointed and usually angry. If people simply got together with the HOPE they might be together forever, but the expecation they will enjoy anything from a short to very long time together but are likely to drift apart, then if/when it happens its not a huge deal. You decide to move apart on a friendly basis, stay friends.

Kids don't get messed up by parents splitting, but HOW they split and how they act afterwards, divorced parents who argue and can't be in the same room generally end up crap parents, sensible people who move apart, divorce but are fine tend to have little to no problem with their kids.

Should you dip your wick in someone else, not if you've made a promise you won't to your other half. Its wrong to agree to do something and then cheat, its sensible to not make the agreement in the first place.

Women are essentially asking for this to happen by pretending their goal in life is to be married, often "encourage" their partners into commitment, rather than just be happy together till you don't want to be together anymore.

Women know, absolutely KNOW that most marraiges don't work, that a huge portion if not the majority of men and women cheat, yet insist on getting married.

Marraige is stupidly flawed, you can't possibly know how you'll feel about someone next year, let alone 10 or 50 years from now, making unrealistic expectations hurts everyone, frequently, for no reason at all.
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I stopped reading when you said bowling! :)
 
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