The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Hah, fair enough! The vocal processing is a bit much for some peoples' tastes, I know this from a few friends who particularly dislike it, but most people seemed fine with it. The lyrics were in the description if you'd wanted a translation. :)

Cheers for listening though, I appreciate it, and thanks for the feedback, I'll keep that in mind in the future if I'm tempted to use that particular processing again. :)
 
Please don't use autotune or vocal processors... get someone else to sing if you have to! Autotune/vocal processing is evil!

Apart from that, I love some of the changes :) Get rid of the processing and it'll be a great song IMO. Great lyrics BTW.
 
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I've been single over 3 years now. Reading some of these posts has made me glad of that...

Do feel for some of you guys, but believe me, time is a brilliant healer. :)
 
Wow. Read a few story's and made me sad.

Been with the missus 9 years now, all going fine, very happy. Due to marry in December.

I truly Dont know what I would do without her.... I can't imagine being on my own. Wouldn't know what to do with myself.
 
For a proper break up song, look up "Sam Kinison - Love Song" on Youtube. Not family friendly so won't post here. :D
 
...please report to continuance longevity reassignment...

Diagro said:
I truly Dont know what I would do without her.... I can't imagine being on my own. Wouldn't know what to do with myself.
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It requires a massive reorientation of your thinking and emotions. Tbh it's not an experience I'd recommend much, but when you're in it up to your neck you don't really have much of a choice.

For me, breaking up after getting on 10 years with a girl, you've already passed the point where they are so much a part of you it feels like you are only half there anymore.

I have to say, I don't really make any long term plans like I used to do, the uber breakup kind of changed my perspective on all of that; I don't think much past the next day or the next week perhaps. I've gone from planning a life to living very much in the now moment.

I've been with a couple of women since, but nothing went anywhere long term.

Of all the things I lost in that long relationship ending it is my trust of others that is most difficult to work with.
The last woman I went out with said (when we were having that breakup talk) 'I don't know what you want'. The simple answer to that is 'I want a life and a family of my own, you know? What most of us want'. The more complex answer which is something I've thought about looking back on that conversation, is 'I'd like to feel I can trust people again.' Which is a far more difficult prospect to accept, let alone communicate successfully to another person, especially one whom you might be interested in.

Most of the time now I just do my own thing and don't really concern myself with anything that approaches 'grand scheme' territory :rolleyes:
 
Although I'm not going through any break or am I with anyone the above statement was interesting.

I think it's fine to live in the moment as long as your sensible. There is too much emphasis on the future and the anxiety its creates. I find while dating this is what most of the opposite sex are obsessed with and don't truly understand themselves, feel, talk and experience things. I MUST have that travelling holiday, a car, a house, 2 kids, successful job, been seeing going to gigs, attend festivals, LIVE LOVE LAUGH arrrgh. Although I have a child, a good job, my own place I just want to meet someone who lives in the now and isn't obsessed with what they want and the future.

I swear 10 years ago all this was easier before the explosion of online social websites.
 
So I have been seeing this girl for coming up a year. We have been living together for the last couple months and all has been going great. It’s always been her ambition to travel India and volunteer for a couple months in India (she is a vet). The plan was I would be joining her after a couple months to do a bit of travelling for 4 months together.

The thing is she has always given me the impression that after the trip she will come back to Devon, but she has just recently hinted that there is a possibility of her moving back to Derbyshire where she is originally from. Moving to Derbyshire is not an option for me so I am in two minds whether to go on this trip and instead just call it off and go our separate ways. The way I see it is that the trip to India will be a ling extended goodbye, but things have been going great and I see or at least I did a long term future for us. I’m just in two minds as to whether to take the gamble that she will stay in Devon, or call it quits and move on? Although India should be an amazing life experience regardless.
 
crackerman said:
So I have been seeing this girl for coming up a year. We have been living together for the last couple months and all has been going great. It’s always been her ambition to travel India and volunteer for a couple months in India (she is a vet). The plan was I would be joining her after a couple months to do a bit of travelling for 4 months together.

The thing is she has always given me the impression that after the trip she will come back to Devon, but she has just recently hinted that there is a possibility of her moving back to Derbyshire where she is originally from. Moving to Derbyshire is not an option for me so I am in two minds whether to go on this trip and instead just call it off and go our separate ways. The way I see it is that the trip to India will be a ling extended goodbye, but things have been going great and I see or at least I did a long term future for us. I’m just in two minds as to whether to take the gamble that she will stay in Devon, or call it quits and move on? Although India should be an amazing life experience regardless.
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Speak to her about it?

She just gave a hint. Elaborate on that hint.
 
jumpy said:
It requires a massive reorientation of your thinking and emotions. Tbh it's not an experience I'd recommend much, but when you're in it up to your neck you don't really have much of a choice.

For me, breaking up after getting on 10 years with a girl, you've already passed the point where they are so much a part of you it feels like you are only half there anymore........
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cheers for that whole post jumpy. just had my 4 year relationship end and we had made plans so Im currently feeling the first part of your post. its good advice i think as thats the bit thats killing me the most, that those plans and my direction has gone.
 
one foot forward...

That's alright fella, tbh I don't have any special insight into how things work. Maybe I've just had a bit longer to think about it ;)

It will be hard, but for your own sake, no matter how much it hurts (and it will, which is ok), you have to start thinking about you as you are now, today. Forget about where you have already been, you cannot change that.

The sooner you start thinking of 'me', I' instead of 'us, we' the better.

Change up some part of your life so it's totally different from what you used to be with your ex. Get down they gym, take up a pastime that is new to you, anything, so long as it takes you in some new direction. The worst thing is to remain in one place, figuratively speaking, with nothing but old stimuli undermining your sense of self and purpose.

It's not going to alter who you are over night, but as a process you will turn something painful into a part of your life you can look back on and not be overwhelmed by it.
Who knows, through that 'new thing' you've discovered you might get to meet new people and do a whole bunch of new things you might never have had a chance to experience before. And in time, when you look back on it, you will realise you are a better person for it.
 
Change up some part of your life so it's totally different from what you used to be with your ex. Get down they gym, take up a pastime that is new to you, anything, so long as it takes you in some new direction. The worst thing is to remain in one place, figuratively speaking, with nothing but old stimuli undermining your sense of self and purpose.
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haha ive had to spend a week in our/her flat (had booked driving test/lessons in advance and a week off work) whilst shes staying at her sisters. i think once im outa here ill feel better like you said but ive had nothing to do but think it over.

cheers once again for the kind words.
 
2 months single met someone new couldn't be happier now :) Was going to find my thread but found it easier to post here for anyone who followed it.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel anyone who's feeling all down about breakups.
 
Jumpy hit the nail on the head.

when you've been with someone for so long, that person becomes part of your personality and is half of you.

i was with my ex for 4 years, and ill have been 9 months single at the end of this month. and even now, certain aspects of everything still hurt deeply and they always will, that fact she left me and ended up being with my best friend, leaving him saying she wanted me back, then turning around saying she didnt want me and went straight back to him etc... my ex sometimes trys to speak to me as she still wants to be "friends", but i had to simply say to her "no, i cant, its too hard, after what you did, even speaking to you now brings all my feelings back and digs it all up"

having to accept that half of you is gone is something very hard to accept, and its probably something that I can never truly accept, and also that i find it extremely hard to trust anyone anymore as im just scared ill be let down again.
 
FatFishMonster said:
Jumpy hit the nail on the head.

when you've been with someone for so long, that person becomes part of your personality and is half of you.

i was with my ex for 4 years, and ill have been 9 months single at the end of this month. and even now, certain aspects of everything still hurt deeply and they always will, that fact she left me and ended up being with my best friend, leaving him saying she wanted me back, then turning around saying she didnt want me and went straight back to him etc... my ex sometimes trys to speak to me as she still wants to be "friends", but i had to simply say to her "no, i cant, its too hard, after what you did, even speaking to you now brings all my feelings back and digs it all up"

having to accept that half of you is gone is something very hard to accept, and its probably something that I can never truly accept, and also that i find it extremely hard to trust anyone anymore as im just scared ill be let down again.
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After all that, you still talk to your so called best friend?
 
Well, first of all.
How do you actually feel about her?

There is nothing wrong with telling a woman you find her attractive. How else would you ever find a relationship with someone you actually desire or like, or are compatible with.
I'd give it a few days, see where things lie.
Never regret saying anything which is true, unless it is said to hurt someone. Clearly this isn't the case, so don't worry about it.
Wait, then find out.
 
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