Girl turned slightly bunny boiler...

smelly_legend · 13 Nov 2013 at 11:15

Don't worry OP. I'm sure she has thick skin - very thick skin.

Sh4rkie · 13 Nov 2013 at 11:20

Have you got a 'friend' you dislike that you could set her up with? Break it off with her but say "my friend really likes you and i think you'd be great together". Give her all his details then retreat to a safe distance...

Kempster · 13 Nov 2013 at 11:29

Send me her number via Trust, Sounds like a keeper

Cosimo · 13 Nov 2013 at 11:33

easyrider said:
I had a boom batty fatty once. She shouted Dopiaza as she came.

Oh won't you take me home tonight?
Oh down beside your red firelight,
Oh and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round....

gigeorge · 13 Nov 2013 at 11:36

Give it her, both barrels

HAz · 13 Nov 2013 at 11:37

You banged a fatty, get over it and move on we all been there.

matt_fsr · 13 Nov 2013 at 12:21

HAz said:
You banged a fatty, get over it and move on we all been there.

Some of us have even survived the experience!

Bubo · 13 Nov 2013 at 12:22

Could end up being accused of rape if she wants to turn nasty :eek:

, not that it was of course, just no telling how she will take things. Tricky situation regardless.

Atlas23 · 13 Nov 2013 at 12:23

Allnamestaken said:
WHY WOULD YOU HARPOON THAT FOGBEAST!!!!!

Liberate yourself free your velociraptor penus even the might velociraptor penus cannot fight a fog beast for long.

ABANDON SHIP WHILE YOU CAN!

THEN NUKE IT FROM ORBIT.

Are you physically unable to spell the word penis correctly?

(and what does stronk mean anyway)

Also, you missed out:

Burn it with fire!!

and

That is a queen fogbeast, I should know - my dad kills them for a living.

doodah · 13 Nov 2013 at 12:27

Steampunk said:
It's an oldie, but a goldie:

This is brilliant, just brilliant!

UncleRuckus · 13 Nov 2013 at 12:30

Once you go fat, you never go back!

Black Dynamite · 13 Nov 2013 at 12:37

Lysander said:
This is the problem with fat chicks. They're so glad that anyone will pull apart their chopped liver ...

3rd reply and still the best ... however ill it made me feel thinking about a fat chicks chopped liver!

OP cut all ties now, and make sure you lock your doors and windows. She'll come stalking your house now!

I did the same stupid thing about 6 years ago, but rather than a dating site it was me, a fatty and a bottle of JD. Ended up at hers. I can just remember thinking "What the **** am I doing ..."

Before and during were one thing, she seemed normal (ish). But afterwards, she wouldn't leave me alone, telling me how she used to cut herself and since she stopped she has put on a ton of weight (literally) and how she thinks she loves me. The second she went to the bathroom, I ran out the house and down the road, clothes in hand.

I'm not proud of it but it was either get out of that house or end up like the bloke from "Misery".

A fat lonely woman is a scary thing, but one that knows where you live is a nightmare!

DaleTheWhale · 13 Nov 2013 at 12:46

I can't breathe...

Definitely have some stars!

elmarko · 13 Nov 2013 at 12:49

UncleRuckus said:
Once you go fat, you never go back!

That would be the mavity.

No1newts · 13 Nov 2013 at 12:50

Dunks said:
Abort abort abort.

He better hope it doesn't get to that stage!!

Black Dynamite · 13 Nov 2013 at 12:53

No1newts said:
He better hope it doesn't get to that stage!!

Mr-White · 13 Nov 2013 at 12:58

ToxicTBag said:
She started it by lying about her size/appearance and you are still wanting to let her down gently??

Not gonna happen we all know the bigger they are the harder they fall !!!

MW

benjii · 13 Nov 2013 at 13:00

Teknobry said:
When it comes to picking a woman in life there are 3 ideals.

Attractiveness
Personality
Mental stability

However you can only choose 2 of the 3.

Although in your case you barely managed 1 out of 3!

Yeah that about sums it up!

shifty_uk · 13 Nov 2013 at 13:09

I had to pass this thread around the office. Five stars, had me giggling like a school girl on the train this morning.

AndyT · 13 Nov 2013 at 13:11

Lysander said:
This is the problem with fat chicks. They're so glad that anyone will pull apart their chopped liver that they'll be all over you after the first time.

HAHAHA, "pull apart their chopped liver". LOLed at work massively. Will definitely use that one myself in the future.

I was "seeing" someone once, in the loosest possible terms (no pun intended); we'd met up a few times, slept together a couple of times and all of a sudden she was telling people that I was her boyfriend. She followed me around on a night out and came up to me and said something like "I can't believe you're my boyfriend, this is crazy". I think I just looked puzzled and muttered something about her being mental then radio-silenced her. Seemed to work.