Marriage?

I got married when I was 23 (missus was 22) - best thing I ever did. We celebrated 10 year anniversary this year and had first child 2 years ago and we couldn’t be happier. We had a good start as we were best friends before we started liking each other but she is still my best friend now and I wouldn't be without her for anything.

Only you can answer whether you're too young to get married. A lot of people will wait until they are in their 30’s to get married but who is to say what is best for you?

Perhaps once you've come out of the army and had some quality time with your girlfriend then you might know then what is right to do. Distance relationships can be very emotional so giving some time after you’re out will help you to understand more how you feel.

As annoying a phrase as it is, I must admit it is true: “when you're found the one, you know”.
If she's the right one, at some point you won't have a doubt about marrying her.

For us, marriage wasn't about trapping each other into a permanent commitment but (for us) was a demonstration of our trust of each other and commitment to move forward together.

Also I've seen friends throw away fantastic partners because they suddenly feel they should be 'living life'. I met up with one mate that did this recently and he completely regrets it and although he would say at the time it was fun sleeping around, it was far better being in a long term relationship and actually he got quite hurt along the way.
 
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I'm 28 and there's no way in hell I'd get married any time soon. Still feel young and not ready to settle down.

Its up to you and nobody else if you feel like you're ready to settle down and get married. If you aren't sure, then you're probably not. Its a pretty huge life changing decision and not something that other people can say you should or shouldn't do.
 
I don't know any friends who got married or entered a long-term relationship at that age who are still together now. Most relationships end, especially ones you enter when you're young. Nothing wrong with that - just part of life's learning process.

I've had a lot of married friends ask me over the years why I'm not married, and most of them are now separated while I'm still happily living in sin with my partner. Marriage doesn't change anything - it just makes it harder to go your separate ways if you ever need to.
 
I believe marriage to be a completely pointless and archaic formality from a time when families used to trade livestock when their children wed.

The entire concept makes no sense, how does a ring or a piece of paper or spunking £20k up the wall make you more solid? Either you were in love and going to stay together for the long run, or you weren't, marriage won't change that, it doesn't mean anything.

Surely for most young couples money would be better spent on a mortgage deposit, or setting up funding for their childrens education?

The only reason I can see behind marriage is people going "well my parents did it, so I must also do it" or something, it really doesn't make any logical sense. If you love someone, and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, do it, but don't think you need to prove it.

That's what I think of marriage, and I'm a romantic by nature.
 
pitchfork said:
I believe marriage to be a completely pointless and archaic formality from a time when families used to trade livestock when their children wed.

The entire concept makes no sense, how does a ring or a piece of paper or spunking £20k up the wall make you more solid? Either you were in love and going to stay together for the long run, or you weren't, marriage won't change that, it doesn't mean anything.

Surely for most young couples money would be better spent on a mortgage deposit, or setting up funding for their childrens education? The only reason I can see behind marriage is "well my parents did it, so I must also do it" or something, it really doesn't make any logical sense.

That's what I think of marriage, and I'm a romantic by nature.
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It gives you a lot more legal standing for one thing, I'm neither for or against it though if people are happy being one way or the other then it makes no difference to me if they're married or not.
 
Blunt and honest answer?

You're too young and haven't been with her long enough.

Don't get married for the sake of getting married, because you think it's "the right thing to do", because you're worried about what other people think, or because an old book tells you to.

Get married because you know you want to spend the rest of your life with the woman.
 
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RDM said:
I got engaged after going out with my now wife for 3 months, it has worked out for us so far and I was only 22 when we got married.
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pitchfork said:
I believe marriage to be a completely pointless and archaic formality from a time when families used to trade livestock when their children wed.

The entire concept makes no sense, how does a ring or a piece of paper or spunking £20k up the wall make you more solid? Either you were in love and going to stay together for the long run, or you weren't, marriage won't change that, it doesn't mean anything.

Surely for most young couples money would be better spent on a mortgage deposit, or setting up funding for their childrens education?

The only reason I can see behind marriage is people going "well my parents did it, so I must also do it" or something, it really doesn't make any logical sense. If you love someone, and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, do it, but don't think you need to prove it.

That's what I think of marriage, and I'm a romantic by nature.
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It makes it legal, So many things me and jen have had to jump though because we arnt married, The Gov sees us as separate people get we are basically married and joined by the hip.

Also i get to burden her with my second name MWAHAHAH
 
Diesel said:
Getting married isn't such a huge step because it's fairly easy to get divorced when it goes belly up. It isn't like years gone by where you pretty much had to commit to someone for life.
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Not sure if serious.

You're right, but the sentiment is all wrong.


I believe if you get married you should be committed to give it a bloody good go, moreso than people who 3 years later decide they're not in love. Or who lose a job and house and break up or any other crap.

If you're not willing to spend your days literally taking care of them because they're dieing, i.e wiping their ass / clothing / feeding, i'd say you're not marrying the right person.

Just my opinion though.
 
Joshct said:
I believe if you get married you should be committed to give it a bloody good go, moreso than people who 3 years later decide they're not in love. Or who lose a job and house and break up or any other crap.
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Marriage isn't a prerequisite for that though. A piece of paper doesn't hold some magical property that makes you try harder.
 
Why ever get married is the question this day and age, so the woman gains all the rights and you get no real benefit? then when you divorce she can talk half your earnings after shes cheated on you. Then blames you for "never being around" as if that is a suitable excuse. I've seen it all too many times amonst friends and friends of friends.

Fact is i've no idea why dudes still get married, it's age old tradition perpetuated by the media and disney films and girls just want to do it because they saw it on TV as they do with anything else "I want my day in the spotlight I want my photos of my big day!"

It's moronic and people shell out their savings on this crapp too?

my guess is too many dudes are whipped to say no or too dumb to see how it's an unfair deal. I'd rather spend money doing actual worthwhile experiences and improve myself as a person rather than tick a box to say YEAH LOOK I'M.....MARRIED!1!

Don't get me wrong in the old days different generation culutral values etc marriage was probably ok but the way girls behave this day and age and have access to so much stimulation and methods to go wandering it's no wonder they say facebook became killer of marriages.
 
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CREATIVE!11 said:
Why ever get married is the question this day and age, so the woman gains all the rights and you get no real benefit? then when you divorce she can talk half your earnings after shes cheated on you.

Fact is i've no idea why dudes still get married, it's age old tradition perpetuated by the media and disney films and girls just want to do it because they saw it on TV as they do with anything else "I want my day in the spotlight I want my photos of my big day!"

It's moronic and people shell out their savings on this crapp too?

my guess is too many dudes are whipped to say no or too dumb to see how it's an unfair deal.
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You sound like you've gone through a bitter divorce?
 
postbox said:
You sound like you've gone through a bitter divorce?
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I sound like it, which actually is a good thing. Guys only wake up after they have had said bitter divorce and been dragged through cleaners then realise how bull it all was. Or they ask themselves "what did I ever see in her...." my guess is you thought with your penis and not your logical mind to see the red flags.

I'm 25 so nope no divorce, never been cheated on, yes i've had long term girlfriends.
 
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