Marriage?

CREATIVE!11 said:
Why ever get married is the question this day and age, so the woman gains all the rights and you get no real benefit? then when you divorce she can talk half your earnings after shes cheated on you. Then blames you for "never being around" as if that is a suitable excuse. I've seen it all too many times amonst friends and friends of friends.

Fact is i've no idea why dudes still get married, it's age old tradition perpetuated by the media and disney films and girls just want to do it because they saw it on TV as they do with anything else "I want my day in the spotlight I want my photos of my big day!"

It's moronic and people shell out their savings on this crapp too?

my guess is too many dudes are whipped to say no or too dumb to see how it's an unfair deal. I'd rather spend money doing actual worthwhile experiences and improve myself as a person rather than tick a box to say YEAH LOOK I'M.....MARRIED!1!

Don't get me wrong in the old days different generation culutral values etc marriage was probably ok but the way girls behave this day and age and have access to so much stimulation and methods to go wandering it's no wonder they say facebook became killer of marriages.
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I dunno, personally I think a bloke asking a woman to be his wife can be very meaningful. I'd wife the woman I'm seeing in a heartbeat if I were less sensible.
 
Theophany said:
I dunno, personally I think a bloke asking a woman to be his wife can be very meaningful. I'd wife the woman I'm seeing in a heartbeat if I were less sensible.
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Why? It's basically the historical/religious equivalent of setting your Facebook status to "in a relationship".

Surely asking her to move in with you, buying a house together, getting a joint bank account or having a baby (I.e. things that are actually significant) show far more commitment than signing a piece of paper that says "I promise to be in a relationship with you until I decide to sign another piece of paper saying I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore."?
 
CREATIVE!11 said:
This is exactly it, and who gets all the sympathy? the woman that's right the poor blameless woman who has been riding sacks like a bouncy castle.... then takes your money.

I know not every girl is like this etc etc, but personally it's a game of risk isn't it really. Marriage gives you nothng else but a nice party and a title and i'm not willing to risk my stuff for that eg if i had these things like my business my house etc

75% ?LOLLZZZZZZZZZZZ also out of the blue means yeah shes probably been seeing someone and waiting for it to be a sure deal. I heard a friend once say woman can be a bit like how monkeys climb from tree to tree (im sure guys can be like this too) they won't let go of the previous branch till they've got a firm hold on the new one then bang... divorce.
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reddit/mensrights.txt
 
It's all down to personal opinion. If you have to ask whether or not you should get married then the answer is no, you probably shouldn't. Some people don't see the point in it and that's absolutely fine.

I'm 32 and due to get married in February but that's because I knew she was the right one for me and it all made sense. Before her I was one of the people who didn't want marriage or kids and could never see the point in it. Now I've got 1 kid with another on the way and getting married in a couple of months. We're only doing a registry office thing though. Nobody else will be there, just us and the 2 required witnesses, no crazy expenses, honeymoon or do afterwards. Just doing what we want to do and it's only around £150. Not because we're cheap but because it's about us, not everyone else.

All down to individual opinion and preference and if it's something that's right for you, you just know :)
 
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I've been married 17 years now and its been amazing. My life would be pretty empty without her tbh.

Although this is not true for many of my friends, whose experience is somewhat different...you pays your money and you takes your chance..mine panned out.
 
Castiel said:
I've been married 17 years now and its been amazing. My life would be pretty empty without her tbh.

Although this is not true for many of my friends, whose experience is somewhat different...you pays your money and you takes your chance..mine panned out.
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Would your life be any different if you hadn't married her and simply stayed as a couple?
 
Haggisman said:
Why? It's basically the historical/religious equivalent of setting your Facebook status to "in a relationship".

Surely asking her to move in with you, buying a house together, getting a joint bank account or having a baby (I.e. things that are actually significant) show far more commitment than signing a piece of paper that says "I promise to be in a relationship with you until I decide to sign another piece of paper saying I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore."?
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I'm not diminishing the importance of any of those other things that a couple can do? :confused:

If you still view marriage as a lifelong commitment to somebody you love no matter what and take the vows in that mindset, it is very meaningful. If it wasn't nobody would do it. Comparing it to some Facebook nonsense is just idiotic.
 
I'm 30 and got married this year. I was petrified, but there's really nothing to worry about. It's absolutely no different to living together. We got married on the 5th anniversary of the day we met (unintentionally), so had had plenty of practice anyway!

If you believe in the concept of marriage, you love her and she loves you, then surely that's all that matters. If you don't see yourself wanting to sleep around at 22 that's fine, don't listen to others telling you you're too young. Only you will know that.

Sure, if you separate later in life, it'll be unpleasant, but sadly not uncommon. These things can happen to the best relationships. With relationships you are always making a gamble with your happiness, but if you feel it's right at the time, what else can you base your decision on? Just do what you think is right, that's all anyone can ever do. Sounds like you love her, so..... Good luck!

Lets be honest, 22 is adult age, always has been, always will be. 30-40 years ago marriage at 22 was the norm, people at 22 had actual responsibilities back then. Most 22 year old's these days seem like entitled, self absorbed, immature mummy's boys. With a military background I imagine you are probably 5 years more mature than most of your peers anyway.
 
AndyT said:
I'm 30 and got married this year. I was petrified, but there's really nothing to worry about.
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sure..

I got married at 30. By the time I was 31 I was getting a divorce which cost me my house, she also took the entire contents of the house and tried to leave me with £10k+ of her debt.

Marriage. I wouldn't wish it on my enemies.
 
Marriage is a good idea. It shows you want to be together for the rest of your life infront of each other and your friends and family.

Relationships can go though tough times and I think if you are married you are more likely to work on your issues rather than just giving up.

I am not saying you wont do this just because you arn't married but it just gives you a little more insentive.

Also, tax breaks.
 
Theophany said:
If you still view marriage as a lifelong commitment to somebody you love no matter what and take the vows in that mindset, it is very meaningful. If it wasn't nobody would do it.
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Yeah, coz human beings never do meaningless things, do they? ;)

The point is, lifelong commitments don't require marriage (and marriage is no guarantee of a lifelong commitment). Would you say that a lifelong commitment meant nothing until marriage was invented?
 
starfighter said:
Relationships can go though tough times and I think if you are married you are more likely to work on your issues rather than just giving up.
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Or alternatively, you're more likely to end up stuck in a loveless relationship if you're tied by marriage ;)

I really don't get this "making more effort" thing. Are people really incapable of making effort without a bit of paper to incentivise them? That's pretty sad.
 
I may be wrong, but I'm certain that you can get around a lot of the issues not being married causes when it comes to the death of a partner. A properly written will, expression of wish paperwork for life insurance (and the correct policy!) and house deeds with both names on should take care of everything without having to get married?

Until you're absolutely certain you want to be with someone for the rest of your life, it seems insane to get married. I've found that living with someone, even for over 2 years, doesn't mean that you really know them.
 
Narj said:
I may be wrong, but I'm certain that you can get around a lot of the issues not being married causes when it comes to the death of a partner. A properly written will, expression of wish paperwork for life insurance (and the correct policy!) and house deeds with both names on should take care of everything without having to get married?
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Yup. That's what I've done, near enough.

Until you're absolutely certain you want to be with someone for the rest of your life, it seems insane to get married. I've found that living with someone, even for over 2 years, doesn't mean that you really know them.
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Exactly this.
 
nathanael91 said:
In January 2014 we will both be living together in Chelmsford. We have got a nice apartment there to rent. Although this whole situation with army band is getting worse and worse.
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At least you'll fit in. I'm 23 and have no idea why people in my age range go and get themselves married with kiddies.
 
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