Don't know how to feel or what to do

Cleisthenes

Cleisthenes

Cleisthenes

Soldato
Joined
29 Jul 2013
Posts
8,618
I'm a 2nd year student studying economics and just got 30% for an assignment that I thought I did ok in. This has brought back feelings from a levels and gcse's that just make me feel depressed.
I've always played games since about the age of 8, and I have always had a bit of an addictive personality towards them. In fact, i've always had an addictive personality towards a lot of things. I just get hooked on a subject and it will dominate my life for the next 6+ months. Over my gcse's is was Call of duty: modern warfare 2, and over my a levels it was just video games in general. I got mostly B's and A's for my gcse's which should have all been A's and I got BDE at A level which should have been B's at least.I just constantly let myself down my creating these obsessions.

Right now I play way too much smite when I have work to do. About 6 months ago my obsession was pc's hence why i'm on this forum, that dominated my time then, often stopping me from socialising as I saved my money for other things.

Because I keep letting myself down, I feel like i'm letting my parents down as well as they have given me every opportunity.

Currently I should be applying for placements as part of my course, but I just do other, pointless things instead. I want to get into the banking sector but feel like i'm never going to get myself there, feel like there's no point trying as i'll just end up getting a **** degree and because I have pretty **** A levels too i'm never going to get a job that I like.

I get pretty big mood swings over the smallest of things sometimes and i've thought that I might be a bit autistic at times because of my obsessions and I am pretty pedantic about a lot of things.

I've given myself such high expectations of myself I just can't fufill them.

Feeling pretty lost to be honest. Was just wondering whether anyone else has had an experience like this and whether you could suggest what to do to try and put myself into a better mind frame so as not to throw away every opportunity i've been given.
 
This is going to sound mean and tough but it's the truth....

Man up and knuckle down and study. If you think life is hard and unfair now, wait until you get in to the real world and start your career. Rejection, failure and disappointment are part of life. It gets much worse once you start work. Fight through it.

I was much like you when I was at university and now, looking back, I so wish I'd just applied myself and fought through the feelings of "can't be bothered". Then I'd maybe have got a decent degree.
 
Rilot said:
This is going to sound mean and tough but it's the truth....

Man up and knuckle down and study. If you think life is hard and unfair now, wait until you get in to the real world and start your career. Rejection, failure and disappointment are part of life. It gets much worse once you start work. Fight through it.

I was much like you when I was at university and now, looking back, I so wish I'd just applied myself and fought through the feelings of "can't be bothered". Then I'd maybe have got a decent degree.
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how has your "bad" degree affect your career if you dont mind me asking?
 
Sell your gaming stuff.

Think there's no real addiction to gaming as there's no withdrawal when taken away.

My nephew was the same he would pine over the next game / level / rank but when the next new game came out I asked him how important all those previous achievements are now, something clicked and he's not so hooked.
 
Stop trying to blame your procrastination on medical causes, you're just being lazy. Get rid of the console, uninstall games on your PC and do some work. Only you can break the cycle.
 
It's good that you've made this thread because it shows that you can see something's up.

The answer you probably know already. Get off the video games and do the stuff you need to do.

Not just for work, for life in general, get out there. If you're going to obssess over hobbies get some cool outdoors ones at least!

And pack in this sort of attitude:

Cleisthenes said:
I get pretty big mood swings over the smallest of things sometimes and i've thought that I might be a bit autistic at times because of my obsessions and I am pretty pedantic about a lot of things.
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Because self-diagnosed aspergers types don't get the girls mate. Take your nerdy traits and use them for something more worthwhile and/or fun than games!
 
Sounds like you secretly want to fail?
Being self destructive takes effort, stop and look at what you are doing to yourself.

Sell your GPU, you won't miss it as much as you think, and start taking more of an interest in your career.
 
Cleisthenes said:
Currently I should be applying for placements as part of my course, but I just do other, pointless things instead. I want to get into the banking sector but feel like i'm never going to get myself there, feel like there's no point trying as i'll just end up getting a **** degree and because I have pretty **** A levels too i'm never going to get a job that I like.
.
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Why do you want to go in to banking? Specifically, what role do you want within the banking sector? What is it that excites you about it? If you were really passionate about working in banking you wouldn't need to muster the enthusiasm to do applications for your placement year, you'd be on to it in a shot! Maybe you don't really know what you want to do so its just easy for you to say 'I wanna go in to banking innit"?
 
Stop trying to blame your procrastination on medical causes, you're just being lazy. Get rid of the console, uninstall games on your PC and do some work. Only you can break the cycle.
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I don't make it known that i've thought about autism being a reason fyi, just thought it might be a factor.

Sell your gaming stuff.

Think there's no real addiction to gaming as there's no withdrawal when taken away.

My nephew was the same he would pine over the next game / level / rank but when the next new game came out I asked him how important all those previous achievements are now, something clicked and he's not so hooked.
Click to expand...

You're right, should just get rid of it even though I enjoy the hardware side of my pc. It's only ever used for gaming though so thats an issue.

This is going to sound mean and tough but it's the truth....

Man up and knuckle down and study. If you think life is hard and unfair now, wait until you get in to the real world and start your career. Rejection, failure and disappointment are part of life. It gets much worse once you start work. Fight through it.

I was much like you when I was at university and now, looking back, I so wish I'd just applied myself and fought through the feelings of "can't be bothered". Then I'd maybe have got a decent degree.
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I have really thought that your situation will just be me in 10 years. I know how dissipointed i'd feel in myself :(
 
youdsy said:
how has your "bad" degree affect your career if you dont mind me asking?
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I don't think it made any difference at all. I had to maybe work super hard for a couple of years to get to where I would have been as a graduate trainee but these days, no one even cares and are more interested in my 20 years of experience.

It's more a matter of pride. I just wish I'd been bothered to study. I might then have gained a degree that I could be proud of.
 
rubberduck said:
Why do you want to go in to banking? Specifically, what role do you want within the banking sector? What is it that excites you about it? If you were really passionate about working in banking you wouldn't need to muster the enthusiasm to do applications for your placement year, you'd be on to it in a shot! Maybe you don't really know what you want to do so its just easy for you to say 'I wanna go in to banking innit"?
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I've found the whole stock market thing interesting for a good while, so thats the kind of direction I wanted to go. I think you're right that i'm not 100% sure what I want to do though. I enjoy my course U just have no enthusiasm to go to things (sounds ridiculous).
 
Don't make same mistake I did OP.

Went to uni when I didn't really want too came out with average grade didn't have that great of a time. Came out at 21 started playing guitar, formed a band now I live the life of sex drugs and rock n roll.

Not all bad,

But 21 was a wake up call after uni I actually grafted, best start now dude if it's something you really want to do economics I mean.

Also cut pc games way down, I think I quit pc games entirely at one point for nearly a year.
 
[FnG]magnolia;25671387 said:
Less videogames, more studying. This is not a complicated or unique situation.
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You are sounding more and more like the unsympathetic GDite every day, do you need more meds?
 
You have so many opportunities at the moment - opportunities you might struggle to come into again! Make the best of what you have. Use it as an opportunity to better yourself and to grow your knowledge. Where did you go wrong? If your lecturers won't tell you, talk to your classmates (preferably ones who got higher marks) about what they did differently. It could be you missed the point of the assignment. Sucks, but it happens on a regular basis. It doesn't have to happen again, though.
 
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