Valentine's Day

[enkoda]

If any of you guys are looking for poetic inspiration for tomorrow, please feel free to use my poems (maybe considered a bit...risqué, hence spoiler tags):

Image removed - regardless of spolier tag or warning, the image contains swearing that breaks rules.

*Disclaimer*
There is no guarantee that they will work, but you may get slapped depending on the recipients (lack of) sense of humour.

 

[Atlas23]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

 

[tres]

The most popular week for one of my sites

http://www.tescovaluecards.com

I can't believe people still use them, let alone 20k uniques this weeK

(not promoting, as I don't make a penny off the site)

 

[Theophany]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

23% of the time, it works every time.

Roses are red
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted.

 

[Lysander]

23% of the time, it works every time.

Roses are red
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted.

Better without the warning.

 

[Theophany]

Roses are red
Sex is elementary
Let's phone a friend
And try double entry.

 

[Atlas23]

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Does this smell of chloroform.
........

 

[Lysander]

Roses are red
Sex is elementary
Let's phone a friend
And try double entry.

Violets are blue
I like them the most
For Sunday lunch
We can have a spit roast

 

[Theophany]

Roses are red
Violets are glorious
Don't make me jump
I'm Oscar Pistorious

Roses are red
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
'cause here comes my willy.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm using my hand
And thinking of you.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I saw your Facebook
And tugged over you.

 

[Atlas23]

Roses are grey.
Violets are grey.
I am a dog.

 

[Captain]

Roses are red
Violets are glorious
Don't make me jump
I'm Oscar Pistorious

Roses are red
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
'cause here comes my willy.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm using my hand
And thinking of you.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I saw your Facebook
And tugged over you.

That last one

 

[Atlas23]

Roses are #FF0000.
Violets are #0000FF.
I don't know HSV.
Will RGB do?


Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Poems are hard.
So is my penis.

 

[Theophany]

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Poems are hard.
So is my penis.

 

[Cosimo]

Roses are red.
Pickles are green.
I love your legs,
and what's in between....

 

[pitchfork]

Like meth? Got teeth?

You know where this is going...

 

[Atlas23]

Gladioli are red.
Tulipth are amaranth.
I have a lithp.
Put your handth in my panth.

Roses are red.
Violets are shy.
Bite the pillow.
I'm going in dry.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I cry in the dark.
Masturbating to you.

 

[Atlas23]

Also this:

 

[TheBDog]

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Zippers are tough
But I have faith in you.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have herpes,
And now so do you

 

[EdGey]

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I'm using my hand
But I'm thinking of you.

 

[Theophany]

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I'm using my hand
But I'm thinking of you.