The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

MisChief said:
My mum is clearly desperate for me to find a guy.... She just said there's a guy she'd like me to meet..... Oh no. God no. No way. Nuh-uh. Never. :eek: :eek:
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Family set-ups are the worst! Thankfully my family no longer bother trying to set me up. I fell out with my sister so don't have the hassle of her trying to "introduce" me to people any more, and my mum is now happy to just let me live my life how I see fit. :D
 
kinda just came for an e-hug, after dragging out my marriage we finally called it a day last september and are now going through the motions of a divorce, i've been working hard at the gym to improve myself (only for me) and i have been getting myself out there in terms of trying to meet new people but i've made zero progress.

Its getting to the point which im sure some of you have gotten to when you start to accept the fact you might end up being on your own for a long time (which in itself is a downer) and i have to admit i miss the interaction with somebody else, not just the sex but everything else that comes with it like the intimacy of sharing yourself with someone long talks, holding hands etc so if anyone can spare an e-hug it would be most appreciated
 
kokuten said:
Its getting to the point which im sure some of you have gotten to when you start to accept the fact you might end up being on your own for a long time (which in itself is a downer)
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It's only a downer if you want it to be. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go have some fun. Go and book stuff you've always talked about doing but never got round to. :)

Chin up dude!
 
Monkeynut said:
Lol well rejected there. :D
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That wasn't rejection! It's not them.... It's me. I don't think I'm good enough for them.... :D

kokuten said:
kinda just came for an e-hug, after dragging out my marriage we finally called it a day last september and are now going through the motions of a divorce, i've been working hard at the gym to improve myself (only for me) and i have been getting myself out there in terms of trying to meet new people but i've made zero progress.

Its getting to the point which im sure some of you have gotten to when you start to accept the fact you might end up being on your own for a long time (which in itself is a downer) and i have to admit i miss the interaction with somebody else, not just the sex but everything else that comes with it like the intimacy of sharing yourself with someone long talks, holding hands etc so if anyone can spare an e-hug it would be most appreciated
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*hug*!! Last sept as in 2013? That's not long... Give yourself some time. Learn to enjoy life on your own for a bit first.
 
MisChief said:
That wasn't rejection! It's not them.... It's me. I don't think I'm good enough for them.... :D

*hug*!! Last sept as in 2013? That's not long... Give yourself some time. Learn to enjoy life on your own for a bit first.
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yeah sept was when we called it a day but its been 3 years we've lived apart as she left just before my daughter was 1, and as i say we've dragged it out on and off from there on in, last september was just when we finally decided to end it properly so living on my own is something i am very used to :)
 
Well, looks like I'm moving out and back in with my parents.
Bah, it's been a long time coming - seems I just can't get over our bad past, and it's really getting to me. Any meets coming up soon where I can drink my own bodyweight in beer? :p
 
Could do with some impartial advice :p never thought I'd go to OcUK for this but anyways...

I broke up with my GF a few months ago, it wasn't working and although we both was happy we had different visions for the future. All in all it was a mutual break up nothing to get to upset over.

Just after the new year, a girl at work (same building but don't work together that much) started showing some interest in me after she found out I broke up with my gf through a mutual friend. I have to be honest I was being a bit dumb at the time and not really acknowledging the "signals" I thought she was just being friendly to me :p

A bit after she asks me out, me being nice but dim just thought she wanted to go out as friends. So we went out had a good time when end of the night she gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. I just want to point out now, in Belgium people kiss each other on the cheek A LOT rather than hand shake, again I thought nothing of it. About a week later we bump into each other at work get talking she asks me why haven’t asked her out again. I was a bit perplexed and said oh sorry erm want to do something this weekend. So again we went out with me thinking nothing of it, I seriously thought she was just being a friend !

Fast forward to now (well yesterday) she asks me why I'm not interested in her. Naturally this caught me off guard a bit because I didn’t think she was interested in me in that way. This is where I need advice we are meeting up this Saturday and I have to say I’m really not sure what to do. My general philosophy has been I don’t date people from work, it can cause problems if things go terribly wrong (I’ve had this before with a previous job). But at the same time I kind of like her I just never thought of her in that way. Am I just being an idiot and I should go for it and give it a try or should I back out before someone gets hurt ? I have to say regardless of it all I really admire her being “straight” with me it’s actually quite nice :)

Edit: oh forgot to mention we have known each other for ~1.5 years already, but we have never been out together alone since nowish.
 
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If you like her, you should go for it. When you consider how much waking time you spend at work, it's no wonder that most people meet their partners at the workplace.
 
Adsta said:
Could do with some impartial advice :p never thought I'd go to OcUK for this but anyways...

I broke up with my GF a few months ago, it wasn't working and although we both was happy we had different visions for the future. All in all it was a mutual break up nothing to get to upset over.

Just after the new year, a girl at work (same building but don't work together that much) started showing some interest in me after she found out I broke up with my gf through a mutual friend. I have to be honest I was being a bit dumb at the time and not really acknowledging the "signals" I thought she was just being friendly to me :p

A bit after she asks me out, me being nice but dim just thought she wanted to go out as friends. So we went out had a good time when end of the night she gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. I just want to point out now, in Belgium people kiss each other on the cheek A LOT rather than hand shake, again I thought nothing of it. About a week later we bump into each other at work get talking she asks me why haven’t asked her out again. I was a bit perplexed and said oh sorry erm want to do something this weekend. So again we went out with me thinking nothing of it, I seriously thought she was just being a friend !

Fast forward to now (well yesterday) she asks me why I'm not interested in her. Naturally this caught me off guard a bit because I didn’t think she was interested in me in that way. This is where I need advice we are meeting up this Saturday and I have to say I’m really not sure what to do. My general philosophy has been I don’t date people from work, it can cause problems if things go terribly wrong (I’ve had this before with a previous job). But at the same time I kind of like her I just never thought of her in that way. Am I just being an idiot and I should go for it and give it a try or should I back out before someone gets hurt ? I have to say regardless of it all I really admire her being “straight” with me it’s actually quite nice :)

Edit: oh forgot to mention we have known each other for ~1.5 years already, but we have never been out together alone since nowish.
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Its better to smash it and regret it for a while than to not smash it and then regret that forever.
 
Adsta said:
Could do with some impartial advice :p never thought I'd go to OcUK for this but anyways...

I broke up with my GF a few months ago, it wasn't working and although we both was happy we had different visions for the future. All in all it was a mutual break up nothing to get to upset over.

Just after the new year, a girl at work (same building but don't work together that much) started showing some interest in me after she found out I broke up with my gf through a mutual friend. I have to be honest I was being a bit dumb at the time and not really acknowledging the "signals" I thought she was just being friendly to me :p

A bit after she asks me out, me being nice but dim just thought she wanted to go out as friends. So we went out had a good time when end of the night she gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. I just want to point out now, in Belgium people kiss each other on the cheek A LOT rather than hand shake, again I thought nothing of it. About a week later we bump into each other at work get talking she asks me why haven’t asked her out again. I was a bit perplexed and said oh sorry erm want to do something this weekend. So again we went out with me thinking nothing of it, I seriously thought she was just being a friend !

Fast forward to now (well yesterday) she asks me why I'm not interested in her. Naturally this caught me off guard a bit because I didn’t think she was interested in me in that way. This is where I need advice we are meeting up this Saturday and I have to say I’m really not sure what to do. My general philosophy has been I don’t date people from work, it can cause problems if things go terribly wrong (I’ve had this before with a previous job). But at the same time I kind of like her I just never thought of her in that way. Am I just being an idiot and I should go for it and give it a try or should I back out before someone gets hurt ? I have to say regardless of it all I really admire her being “straight” with me it’s actually quite nice :)

Edit: oh forgot to mention we have known each other for ~1.5 years already, but we have never been out together alone since nowish.
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Do it. If you don't work directly with one another, the damage potential is limited right off the bat. Though by the sounds of it, it doesn't seem like you're overly fussed about her.
 
Adsta said:
Could do with some impartial advice :p never thought I'd go to OcUK for this but anyways...

I broke up with my GF a few months ago, it wasn't working and although we both was happy we had different visions for the future. All in all it was a mutual break up nothing to get to upset over.

Just after the new year, a girl at work (same building but don't work together that much) started showing some interest in me after she found out I broke up with my gf through a mutual friend. I have to be honest I was being a bit dumb at the time and not really acknowledging the "signals" I thought she was just being friendly to me :p

A bit after she asks me out, me being nice but dim just thought she wanted to go out as friends. So we went out had a good time when end of the night she gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. I just want to point out now, in Belgium people kiss each other on the cheek A LOT rather than hand shake, again I thought nothing of it. About a week later we bump into each other at work get talking she asks me why haven’t asked her out again. I was a bit perplexed and said oh sorry erm want to do something this weekend. So again we went out with me thinking nothing of it, I seriously thought she was just being a friend !

Fast forward to now (well yesterday) she asks me why I'm not interested in her. Naturally this caught me off guard a bit because I didn’t think she was interested in me in that way. This is where I need advice we are meeting up this Saturday and I have to say I’m really not sure what to do. My general philosophy has been I don’t date people from work, it can cause problems if things go terribly wrong (I’ve had this before with a previous job). But at the same time I kind of like her I just never thought of her in that way. Am I just being an idiot and I should go for it and give it a try or should I back out before someone gets hurt ? I have to say regardless of it all I really admire her being “straight” with me it’s actually quite nice :)

Edit: oh forgot to mention we have known each other for ~1.5 years already, but we have never been out together alone since nowish.
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Run her ragged my good man.
 
Adsta said:
Could do with some impartial advice :p never thought I'd go to OcUK for this but anyways...

I broke up with my GF a few months ago, it wasn't working and although we both was happy we had different visions for the future. All in all it was a mutual break up nothing to get to upset over.

Just after the new year, a girl at work (same building but don't work together that much) started showing some interest in me after she found out I broke up with my gf through a mutual friend. I have to be honest I was being a bit dumb at the time and not really acknowledging the "signals" I thought she was just being friendly to me :p

A bit after she asks me out, me being nice but dim just thought she wanted to go out as friends. So we went out had a good time when end of the night she gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. I just want to point out now, in Belgium people kiss each other on the cheek A LOT rather than hand shake, again I thought nothing of it. About a week later we bump into each other at work get talking she asks me why haven’t asked her out again. I was a bit perplexed and said oh sorry erm want to do something this weekend. So again we went out with me thinking nothing of it, I seriously thought she was just being a friend !

Fast forward to now (well yesterday) she asks me why I'm not interested in her. Naturally this caught me off guard a bit because I didn’t think she was interested in me in that way. This is where I need advice we are meeting up this Saturday and I have to say I’m really not sure what to do. My general philosophy has been I don’t date people from work, it can cause problems if things go terribly wrong (I’ve had this before with a previous job). But at the same time I kind of like her I just never thought of her in that way. Am I just being an idiot and I should go for it and give it a try or should I back out before someone gets hurt ? I have to say regardless of it all I really admire her being “straight” with me it’s actually quite nice :)

Edit: oh forgot to mention we have known each other for ~1.5 years already, but we have never been out together alone since nowish.
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BELGIUM! Need pics!

I kid :p

Tell her what you told us? Tell her you really didn't take the signs in that way, you thought she was just being friendly. Tell her you were interested, but thought the feeling was not mutual as she was just being a good friend.

Obviously put it a bit nicer than this :p

Others said you don't seem too fussed about her, but I'm not sure that entirely correct. I think that after a relationship, mostly long ones (not sure how long your relationship was), you don't just open up for another one, you want some alone time, going out more with your guy friends and maybe spend some more time gaming/doing a 'man' hobby.

Since you are not direct work mates, I would say give it a go if you think she is worth it. She sounds decent, and not one of those crazy women :p
 
mattyprice4004 said:
To help the OCUK collective decide, we're going to need pictures :p
If you think you like her go ahead - but if it's a bit 'meh' I'd wait for something more interesting to come along.
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lol I was awaiting the obligatory we need pics to decide :p

I think as you said compared to the others I'm just a bit 'meh' at the moment. It doesn't bother me which way it goes which could end up being a problem. Although I don't work with her directly we have a similar friend circle and last thing I want is if **** does hit the fan and then the office "rumour mill" do its rounds and get a reputation of being a "user".

You all have said what some of my RL friends have why not give it a go. So I think I will go out with her saturday and see what happens and try not to over think it.
 
Adsta said:
Could do with some impartial advice :p never thought I'd go to OcUK for this but anyways...

I broke up with my GF a few months ago, it wasn't working and although we both was happy we had different visions for the future. All in all it was a mutual break up nothing to get to upset over.

Just after the new year, a girl at work (same building but don't work together that much) started showing some interest in me after she found out I broke up with my gf through a mutual friend. I have to be honest I was being a bit dumb at the time and not really acknowledging the "signals" I thought she was just being friendly to me :p

A bit after she asks me out, me being nice but dim just thought she wanted to go out as friends. So we went out had a good time when end of the night she gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. I just want to point out now, in Belgium people kiss each other on the cheek A LOT rather than hand shake, again I thought nothing of it. About a week later we bump into each other at work get talking she asks me why haven’t asked her out again. I was a bit perplexed and said oh sorry erm want to do something this weekend. So again we went out with me thinking nothing of it, I seriously thought she was just being a friend !

Fast forward to now (well yesterday) she asks me why I'm not interested in her. Naturally this caught me off guard a bit because I didn’t think she was interested in me in that way. This is where I need advice we are meeting up this Saturday and I have to say I’m really not sure what to do. My general philosophy has been I don’t date people from work, it can cause problems if things go terribly wrong (I’ve had this before with a previous job). But at the same time I kind of like her I just never thought of her in that way. Am I just being an idiot and I should go for it and give it a try or should I back out before someone gets hurt ? I have to say regardless of it all I really admire her being “straight” with me it’s actually quite nice :)

Edit: oh forgot to mention we have known each other for ~1.5 years already, but we have never been out together alone since nowish.
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Option 1: Be honest and tell her you don't usually date people from work, back out and nobody gets hurt

Option 2: Be honest and tell her you don't usually date people from work but you admire her and would like to see how it goes and if it works. Take her on a proper date.

Option 3: Smash it good and screw any consequences.
 
Adsta said:
I just want to point out now, in Belgium people kiss each other on the cheek A LOT rather than hand shake
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Really? I heard that a Belgian Kiss is like a French Kiss, but with more phlegm. :D

From what you have said you both sound as though you could be reasonably mature about the situation, so give it a go and see what happens.
 
MisChief said:
My mum is clearly desperate for me to find a guy.... She just said there's a guy she'd like me to meet..... Oh no. God no. No way. Nuh-uh. Never. :eek: :eek:

Will be 6 years single this year :o
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introduce me to your mum, she'll be so relived your single again afterwards she'll never try to set you up again :p
 
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