The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

MisChief said:
Thanks guys. I really appreciate the advice.

I think the last straw has finally broke the camel's back. I was meant to meet up with him this evening but he just text to say he's staying round his mums for dinner and can we meet during the week instead. Yet another cancellation. I'm rocking up round his this evening to take two of my things back and I'll be done with him.

I can do so much better.
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i'm gonna bet you £1.28p to a charity of my or your choice that this doesn't happen and he talks you out of it.
 
Well done chic x
You know it's the right decision.

Chin up and smile, it's all good and I dare say you have learned a thing or three about yourself. The more you date em the more you learn. ;)
 
MisChief said:
Thanks guys. I really appreciate the advice.

I think the last straw has finally broke the camel's back. I was meant to meet up with him this evening but he just text to say he's staying round his mums for dinner and can we meet during the week instead. Yet another cancellation. I'm rocking up round his this evening to take two of my things back and I'll be done with him.

I can do so much better.
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Just don't fall for any last minute BS. A partner is someone who you want to be with, and who wants to be with you. Someone that makes you feel good about yourself and your life, not miserable about the way they are treating you. It not rocket science to make someone feel loved if you actually love them. If you don't get that, at least most of the time, then something is seriously wrong.

It's the easiest thing in the world to make someone else happy if doing that makes you happy too. IMO, that's the minimum standard for any relationship.
 
Question guys.... What's the best way get my things back (only two items) as well as officially 'end' things with him? :o Should I:

1) text him and say "I want to take <items> back, please let me know when you're home so I can pick them up", then when I see him I tell him I've had enough etc and say I want nothing more to do with him.

2) just rock up at his house this evening without any warning

I'm worried that if I pre-warn him he's just gonna avoid me and not give my stuff back :o
 
Option 2 but handle it gently so that you only ruin his week, rather than catastrophically ruining his week.
 
MisChief said:
Thanks guys. I really appreciate the advice.

I think the last straw has finally broke the camel's back. I was meant to meet up with him this evening but he just text to say he's staying round his mums for dinner and can we meet during the week instead. Yet another cancellation. I'm rocking up round his this evening to take two of my things back and I'll be done with him.

I can do so much better.
Click to expand...

Well done. Not quite sure what took you so long but well done none the less.
 
If it was me, I'd just turn up as soon as possible, get it over and done with and move on. Grab my stuff and go. Or grab my stuff, say things aren't working and I've had enough and go. Not worth spending time explaining what should be obvious or putting yourself through the emotional wringer.
 
Gawd I am pooing bricks right now.

I think I'll go to his around 8.30pm, he should be home by then. I have a feeling he'll know it's me though (who else would knock on his door at this time of night?) and might ignore me and not answer the door..
 
MisChief said:
Question guys.... What's the best way get my things back (only two items) as well as officially 'end' things with him? :o Should I:

1) text him and say "I want to take <items> back, please let me know when you're home so I can pick them up", then when I see him I tell him I've had enough etc and say I want nothing more to do with him.

2) just rock up at his house this evening without any warning

I'm worried that if I pre-warn him he's just gonna avoid me and not give my stuff back :o
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When you leave, remember to say "don't call me ever again"

Think how they do it in the movies, slam the door and drive off.

He should get the message that it's officially over.
 
Well that was easy.

I knocked on his door, he answered but looked like he was half asleep and he sighed as if to say 'wtf do you want?'. I said I'm not here to give you grief, I just want to get my stuff back. He said ok and went up to grab my things while I waited outside. He handed it over and I simply said 'thank you' and walked away

Nothing more needed to be said, I'm sure he wouldn't have cared anyway if I told him I'd had enough/things aren't working out etc.
 
MisChief said:
Well that was easy.

I knocked on his door, he answered but looked like he was half asleep and he sighed as if to say 'wtf do you want?'. I said I'm not here to give you grief, I just want to get my stuff back. He said ok and went up to grab my things while I waited outside. He handed it over and I simply said 'thank you' and walked away

Nothing more needed to be said, I'm sure he wouldn't have cared anyway if I told him I'd had enough/things aren't working out etc.
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As we all told you - he just wasn't that into you, even when you first posted about this guy months ago. The fact that you obviously wanted more was just something he used to string you along with.

Try not to be too despondent or down about it. You invested a lot of hopes in this guy, even though he was undeserving. There are much better guys out there who will make you happier than this loser ever could.
 
He's made it easy for me to move on to be honest. It's (now) clear he had no interest in me, I was just too stupid to accept that fact and move on.

Nevermind. Yes I'm upset, but I'm also strong and I won't let this bring me down any more than it already has.
 
MisChief said:
He's made it easy for me to move on to be honest. It's (now) clear he had no interest in me, I was just too stupid to accept that fact and move on.

Nevermind. Yes I'm upset, but I'm also strong and I won't let this bring me down any more than it already has.
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Live and learn.
 
Soooo.

Felt like posting what ive been up to lately as its becoming stressful!

So nearly 3 months ago, me and the ex somehow managed to become friends (i cant even remember what started it!) we've been split up for over a year and a half.

Anyways, after a few weeks, things started to become more than friends till its come to a head now.

She wants to want be with me (if that makes sense). Ive given the benefit of the doubt to her as it can take a while to get there, but now ive come to the conclusion of if it hasn't happened after nearly 3 months, then its not going to change.

This whole thing has taken it tool on use in the last couple of weeks (obviously stressing me out with it all) So we have bickered and had a few arguments.

I can tell shes holding back a lot which is fair enough. But i keep trying to tell her whats bothers me and someone it becomes my fault that i told her.

For example, i simply said that i wished she appreciated me more and tried to have a conversation about "us" and where things are, and basically made my feelings known, and she got annoyed and it felt like she was getting annoyed at me sharing my feelings.

Thing is, over the past few weeks ive done various things for her, helped her clean her flat lots of times, taken her out various places, i even brought her a TV! (it was used off a friend, her old one was tiny and couldn't bare watching TV on 17" screen on the other side of the room), and just feel like i got nothing in return, I don't want a "specific thing" i just want some more respect and appreciation!

But i think given what im feeling and whats happening, i need to cut things off, least then ill know that me and her are well and truly broken!

Ill see how it goes over the next couple of days, but i need to sort this out.
 
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