What does everyone think to this situation, i read some of the stuff in the dive bomb thread and it reminds me of my situation.
My personal situation is i am in a good job working with my dad in our company, earning money, loads of disposable income and about to buy my own place, have a nice car, and will have 2 degrees by may next year (Bsc & Msc in property and construction respectively), work out a lot and feel i buy nice clothes (all designer stuff - Paul Smith etc) and am alright looking, i feel ridiculous that this situation wears me down so much as i have absolutely nothing to be upset about and its effecting my work.
Broke up with my ex of 2 years in may, honestly i can say i broke up having completely lost interest in the relationship but had nothing but respect for her as a kind caring person, there was just no sexual spark whatsoever and i hadn't started talking to the below girl until we were over for a month, she had her own brand new car, some money, alright job and was literally obsessed with me.
Que June, i start talking again to a girl i met a year ago, we went on 3 dates pretty quickly and then went to Whitby for a night together, I liked her but i don't think it was until we just had a night in together after that i discovered i really liked her. She had also just come out of a relationship but was adamant it was 8 months of her life wasted and had moved on which i could relate too given my situation.
A short time after this we ended up going 2 weeks without seeing each other and the Monday after the weekend in between she was a bit off with me, i said look i like you and want a bit more from this, maybe even to be my girlfriend.
She freaked out and said that she had too much on, her situation wasnt great (not much money as she is only working at Asda, no car, only just left uni and was trying to find her feet with her acting and we live 50 mins from each other) and that she wondered when this conversation was coming, first thing i said was that well if i hadn't brought this up how else would it have got brought up ?
Anyway it turned out one of the reasons she was freaking out was over this weekend before the monday when we had this conversation she had seen her ex at a music festival and got horrendously drunk and upset. (not a good sign i know)
Well que a whole day of talking about it she said she wanted to carry on seeing me based on what i was saying, things improved markedly after that and we both told each other we loved each other, she said she wanted to be my girlfriend and had realized that she wanted us to be together. Being with her feels amazing on so many levels but i feel i have never had closure from this conversation with her..
She always texts back, rings me during the week, has never lied to me about anything as far as i can tell, and keeps making an effort to see me when she can although in reality we are seeing each other usually once every 7 days as its not regular days - I have contributed on occasion to this lack of seeing each other due to my own commitments. I feel like the ideal amount would be 3 days a week, and i would be well happy at that
I quickly felt frustrated given my own situation of relative financial freedom that i wasn't seeing her enough as most of the time we are only seeing each other once a week and we are both rushing off at the end of it for something one of us had to do (I'd say 7/10 times its her), and despite the fact i am up too a lot as well i was finding myself with a lot of free time that i wish i was spending with her. It started to feel like some sort of long distance relationship.
We have discussed this and said we would try and organize 4 days / a week away together (I was starting to feel like i need some distance from the business as well).
We talked about this for ages and how excited we both were but last weekend she without really spelling it out said that she cant due to some possible acting opportunities she has had come up. I said well cant we do just 2 days and initially she agreed to that
She never really said look, i cant do this, it seemed to involve several different conversations (such as the 2 days idea) leading up to me saying look just leave it probably because i was fed up of asking..
She has tried so hard to say that this has nothing to do with me not wanting to go or neglecting us but to me it feels like that whatever she says. i have told her i believe her but part of me is just like where does this leave us, are we ever going to get to just spend a couple of days together, it feels crap.
I was going to pay for us to go to a 5 star boutique hotel in Windermere for the revised 2 day plan (which she knows and i can afford) so i feel a bit like well, am i going to have any respect for myself left after this if me and that is not enough.
Que this morning i woke up thinking i either have two choices, to just trust her and try and be alright with it all (i do think i find it hard to really trust someone but i am willing to try with her) or question her again about it but i already tried to find some middle ground. I just don't want to ruin what we have when we do find time for each other.
I am not sure what the biggest issue is in my head here, i drove her to work on Sunday morning and i just said i have fallen for you big style (and she said it straight back to me) but i don't want to get to the point where this is doing my head in (i don't feel like i am far off now)
I am seeing her Thursday but i know it will be like fast forward as usual, she will feel bad about the holiday thing as she always wants to discuss things we have spoken about over text / facebook, we will meet up, go see a play we have some tickets for, she will stay over, disappear in the morning and ill feel back at square one and will probably see her at some dim distance point next week.
Tl;DR - Met a girl, really like her, struggling to see each other, freaking out about it, wont commit to going away for a few days and i dont know if she ever will, don't know what to do or if i just need to calm the hell down about it all..
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
