guy at work really hates me for no particular reason
- Thread starter gogopops
- Start date
Complain to HR to say you say the communicator message pop up when you were assisting her with something, they can check the logs and sort disciplinary. If someone is going to take a disliking to you, might as well give them a reason.
shrug your shoulders and move on..if you act like a victim expect to be treated like one for the rest of your life
I work in a large company of about 4000 people...I only socialise with about 2 of them
the rest are merely people I see at work, my life outside work doesnt involve them so care not a jot for their opinion about me
facebook with people at work? again why would I want them to know what I do or my friends outside of work
if you have a small social circle and the only real people you communicate with are work mates..then thats a different problem altogether and you need a hobby
I work in a large company of about 4000 people...I only socialise with about 2 of them
the rest are merely people I see at work, my life outside work doesnt involve them so care not a jot for their opinion about me
facebook with people at work? again why would I want them to know what I do or my friends outside of work
if you have a small social circle and the only real people you communicate with are work mates..then thats a different problem altogether and you need a hobby
The reason the guy did this was because he was clearly jealous that you had the attention of the girl at the time. His reasoning for bad mouthing you to her was to show his 'alpha' side that he is the more dominant one. Because you are the most introvert and shy one in the office means that he can get away with this behaviour and nothing will come of it.
In all fairness I would have confronted him on these messages in front of everyone in the office and said that if he was jealous and that if he really wants her then he is welcome. Theres no need to try and act all 'alpha' and and bad mouth me over it.
If you think it's becoming a problem report it to your manager or personnel department, especially the bit about him badmouthing you to colleagues. There's probably a more suitable term for it but this will fall under workplace harassment.
If I saw someone doing that in an office I would instantly think they were a childish idiot.
OP you're at work; keep it professional and civil. If you think there is a problem, go to your manager first and make your concerns known. Take minutes and email them back to the manager if you must, in order to keep a log of what's happening but I wouldn't go running to HR in the first instance and completely bypass your manager. They will likely involve your manager anyway so he/she will need to know the full story.
Regardless, if you think this guy is an idiot, I can guarantee others will too, even if they don't make it publicly known.
So you'd act "alpha" (in front of everyone in the office, no less) to show that there's really no need to act "alpha" ?
Perhaps it's not the most professsional way of dealing with it. However, sometimes dealing with people like this in the same manner that they deal with you is the only way they can learn.
Soldato
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This,Seems like the guy is jealous about something.
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I would have said something as it was happening but im more outgoing in the office and don't realy over think things like that. I guess he thinks you are weak and picks on you. If you do say something make sure the girl sees and hears it as it will only make him look like an idiot when he has to try and explain why he is bad mouthing you in front of the new girl. I wouldn't realy make a big deal about it after the fact, but next time something like that happens, say loudly to the whole office that you don't appreciate being bad mouthed over communicator and that he should allow the new girl to make up her own mind about you and not try turn her against you.
One thing you could do is say to the new girl, did whats his name send you bad messages about me and then say "he always does that, such an idiot". That sort of turns the tables a bit.
One thing you could do is say to the new girl, did whats his name send you bad messages about me and then say "he always does that, such an idiot". That sort of turns the tables a bit.
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At the end of the day you have to accept the fact you will never please everyone all of the time. Since he is not a superior to you like supervisor manager etc I'm guessing.
Then he has no company authority over you. Its all in your head, people like this just need ignoring, if he'd doing indirect things like sending false messages about you, people will work it our for themselves that he is the ass, not you.
If he does something directly I would suggest responding in a reasonable, logical way that wont get you fired.
Reacting to what he does is by far the worst thing you can do, its what bullies thrive on.
Then he has no company authority over you. Its all in your head, people like this just need ignoring, if he'd doing indirect things like sending false messages about you, people will work it our for themselves that he is the ass, not you.
If he does something directly I would suggest responding in a reasonable, logical way that wont get you fired.
Reacting to what he does is by far the worst thing you can do, its what bullies thrive on.
Soldato
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One thing I picked out of this is your company chose you to help the new employee. I would imagine that is because they trust you have the knowledge and the right attitude.
For a big 'I am' he sounds like, that has probably infuriated him more. Deep down he probably knows the company values you more and he resents it.
I am hated by virtually everyone in the team at work. I don't care as I do the late shifts they refuse to do, I work alone when it takes two of them to do the same job during the quiet times.
They choose the party lifestyle over work, often advertising they are going out on a bender then phoning in sick the next day or being sent home.
Because I am flexible, efficient and reliable I get the pay rises and bonuses they get the verbal and written warnings. I while back they even sunk to be ageist with me, I just ignored it.
Numerous times they have tried to lose me my job but the owners see right through it. I don't enjoy being hated but as the owners explained it is not personal, people like matey at your work feel threatened and lash out in these illogical hatreds.
For a big 'I am' he sounds like, that has probably infuriated him more. Deep down he probably knows the company values you more and he resents it.
I am hated by virtually everyone in the team at work. I don't care as I do the late shifts they refuse to do, I work alone when it takes two of them to do the same job during the quiet times.
They choose the party lifestyle over work, often advertising they are going out on a bender then phoning in sick the next day or being sent home.
Because I am flexible, efficient and reliable I get the pay rises and bonuses they get the verbal and written warnings. I while back they even sunk to be ageist with me, I just ignored it.
Numerous times they have tried to lose me my job but the owners see right through it. I don't enjoy being hated but as the owners explained it is not personal, people like matey at your work feel threatened and lash out in these illogical hatreds.
Associate
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If you confront him about it then I expect he will try and make a joke of it and say it was only a bit of banter and to stop being so sensitive ETC...
Talk to your manager about it, the incident will be logged and some level of disciplinary action taken (one would hope), this will stop him doing anything stupid again, otherwise he'll most likely be fired.
I agree with what others have said about doing something (a new activity) to build your confidence so this type of situation doesn't occur in the future, there's always going to be bullies but you don't have to take any **** from them.
Talk to your manager about it, the incident will be logged and some level of disciplinary action taken (one would hope), this will stop him doing anything stupid again, otherwise he'll most likely be fired.
I agree with what others have said about doing something (a new activity) to build your confidence so this type of situation doesn't occur in the future, there's always going to be bullies but you don't have to take any **** from them.
The question you really need to ask yourself is: "Why does it bother you whether this guy likes you or not?".
Also, why did you friend request him if he's not acting like a friend?
Be professional. If all you give him is your professional side, there can be nothing he can do, and he will probably just give up..... pretty much inline with bullying. If it continues, raise a grievance. Also.. TAKE A LOG of all negative activity so it backs you up when you raise your grievance with manager/HR. I would highly suggest you do not make it obvious in anyway shape or form that you have a log, even if you feel that it gives you power.
Sometimes the loud mouths seem like they are liked by everyone, but often people things they are idiots and have no respect for them.
Also, why did you friend request him if he's not acting like a friend?
Be professional. If all you give him is your professional side, there can be nothing he can do, and he will probably just give up..... pretty much inline with bullying. If it continues, raise a grievance. Also.. TAKE A LOG of all negative activity so it backs you up when you raise your grievance with manager/HR. I would highly suggest you do not make it obvious in anyway shape or form that you have a log, even if you feel that it gives you power.
Sometimes the loud mouths seem like they are liked by everyone, but often people things they are idiots and have no respect for them.
Firstly, why the friend request? I have colleagues from work on FB but people I know I like for starters, not douche bags, life is too short to put up with them 
Secondly, why do you care what he thinks of you? Like others have said, he's a work colleague and that's it. Yes it's nice to be liked but you can't expect literally every person you work with to like you, you will get the occasional tool.
If he's chatting behind your back and people decide to listen, then surely that tells you you don't want anything to do with people like that anyway?
Secondly, why do you care what he thinks of you? Like others have said, he's a work colleague and that's it. Yes it's nice to be liked but you can't expect literally every person you work with to like you, you will get the occasional tool.
If he's chatting behind your back and people decide to listen, then surely that tells you you don't want anything to do with people like that anyway?