The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

russell664 · 29 Dec 2014 at 15:07

So cut communication altogether?

She also said she was going to hurt herself and all that stuff, which kinda worried me at the time. But I think she was maybe just saying it for attention?

Narj · 29 Dec 2014 at 15:53

russell664 said:
So cut communication altogether?

She also said she was going to hurt herself and all that stuff, which kinda worried me at the time. But I think she was maybe just saying it for attention?

RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!1111!!eleventy!

dodg3rman · 29 Dec 2014 at 15:59

Get out and stay out. You cant give in to emotional blackmail or you will pay for it big time in the long run.

twist3d0n3 · 29 Dec 2014 at 16:16

russell664 said:
So cut communication altogether?

She also said she was going to hurt herself and all that stuff, which kinda worried me at the time. But I think she was maybe just saying it for attention?

had an ex who threatened that when she had one of her mental sessions, walked away, haven't looked back. with a qt3.14 polish bird now, couldn't be happier

Will21st · 29 Dec 2014 at 16:22

krooton said:
Cut n run, she's clearly a manipulator.

agreed

deusexlumina · 29 Dec 2014 at 16:39

russell664 said:
Well mine just went down the toilet.

Basically we had been having a lot of arguments recently over petty little things, and I basically said I couldn't take it anymore. She was being really needy and I tried my best to do everything she wanted, but it just ended up being more and more all the time. She then always used to say it wasn't good enough and all that jazz, which to be honest made me always feel like crap.

At first, everything was good, but over the past month or so, everything has gone bad, and basically even talking to her on the phone felt like a chore as she always had a go about something.

Now apparently, I should die in a ditch, and a waste of space. Just because something didn't go quite her way and I said something she didn't want to hear.

The funny thing is she is now trying to text me, being all nice saying she was 'just angry' is that really an excuse?

I never said anything hurtful to her, other than that I feel it isn't working.

What do I do, oh great ones at OCUK?

Should I cut all communication altogether, or..?

You need to cut and run my man, her last few actions show how she behaves under relationship pressure. She clearly needs to grow up. Can you imagine how messy this'd be with kids involved etc? Just not worth it.

Fuzz · 29 Dec 2014 at 17:07

Everyone that is uuming and ahhing over whether their woman who is a bit needy and controlling is worth keeping or not, wants to go read that other poor dudes thread..
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
but he put up with it
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
But he married her
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
but he had kids with her
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
THEN he broke up with her and had to endure MONTHS of her banging on his door and screaming outside in the street.
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
When he made a post about it on here..

THEN SHE TURNED UP IN THE THREAD.... !!!!!!1111111oneoneone one one

then he asked for it to be locked.

Booo

Answer....
Do yourself a favour and cut loose while you still can.

Ayahuasca · 29 Dec 2014 at 17:09

It's easier said than done though, especially for those in their 1st long time relationship.

Steampunk · 29 Dec 2014 at 17:17

russell664 said:
So cut communication altogether?

She also said she was going to hurt herself and all that stuff, which kinda worried me at the time. But I think she was maybe just saying it for attention?

Trying to control you, first by nagging and berating, then emotional blackmail by threatening self-harm.

Steampunk · 29 Dec 2014 at 17:19

Fuzz said:
Everyone that is uuming and ahhing over whether their woman who is a bit needy and controlling is worth keeping or not, wants to go read that other poor dudes thread..
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
but he put up with it
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
But he married her
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
but he had kids with her
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
THEN he broke up with her and had to endure MONTHS of her banging on his door and screaming outside in the street.
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
When he made a post about it on here..

THEN SHE TURNED UP IN THE THREAD.... !!!!!!1111111oneoneone one one

then he asked for it to be locked.
Booo

Answer....
Do yourself a favour and cut loose while you still can.

You're actually mixing up a couple of different posters. There were no kids or marriage involved with the guy who had the ex turn up in the thread.

Kamerad · 29 Dec 2014 at 17:22

link?

-westy- · 29 Dec 2014 at 17:22

russell664 said:
Well mine just went down the toilet.

Basically we had been having a lot of arguments recently over petty little things, and I basically said I couldn't take it anymore. She was being really needy and I tried my best to do everything she wanted, but it just ended up being more and more all the time. She then always used to say it wasn't good enough and all that jazz, which to be honest made me always feel like crap.

At first, everything was good, but over the past month or so, everything has gone bad, and basically even talking to her on the phone felt like a chore as she always had a go about something.

Now apparently, I should die in a ditch, and a waste of space. Just because something didn't go quite her way and I said something she didn't want to hear.

The funny thing is she is now trying to text me, being all nice saying she was 'just angry' is that really an excuse?

I never said anything hurtful to her, other than that I feel it isn't working.

What do I do, oh great ones at OCUK?

Should I cut all communication altogether, or..?

russell664 said:
So cut communication altogether?

She also said she was going to hurt herself and all that stuff, which kinda worried me at the time. But I think she was maybe just saying it for attention?

dodg3rman said:
Get out and stay out. You cant give in to emotional blackmail or you will pay for it big time in the long run.

I fancy boys said:
You need to cut and run my man, her last few actions show how she behaves under relationship pressure. She clearly needs to grow up. Can you imagine how messy this'd be with kids involved etc? Just not worth it.

Steampunk said:
Trying to control you, first by nagging and berating, then emotional blackmail by threatening self-harm.

All of these echo my current/recently finished relationship, apart from the fact that she's 19 weeks pregnant. Oh the joy.

Steampunk · 29 Dec 2014 at 17:38

Kamerad said:
link?

Here's one, you'll have to search for the other one yourself.

rickjames · 29 Dec 2014 at 17:41

Switswoo

The__Malteser · 29 Dec 2014 at 17:57

Fuzz said:
Everyone that is uuming and ahhing over whether their woman who is a bit needy and controlling is worth keeping or not, wants to go read that other poor dudes thread..
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
but he put up with it
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
But he married her
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
but he had kids with her
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
THEN he broke up with her and had to endure MONTHS of her banging on his door and screaming outside in the street.
He knew she was a straight jacket away from being a loony bin
When he made a post about it on here..

THEN SHE TURNED UP IN THE THREAD.... !!!!!!1111111oneoneone one one

then he asked for it to be locked.
Booo

Answer....
Do yourself a favour and cut loose while you still can.

Mixing up a few people here as others said.

I really want to know what happened to him though.

Roar87 · 29 Dec 2014 at 18:15

russell664 said:
Well mine just went down the toilet.

Basically we had been having a lot of arguments recently over petty little things, and I basically said I couldn't take it anymore. She was being really needy and I tried my best to do everything she wanted, but it just ended up being more and more all the time. She then always used to say it wasn't good enough and all that jazz, which to be honest made me always feel like crap.

At first, everything was good, but over the past month or so, everything has gone bad, and basically even talking to her on the phone felt like a chore as she always had a go about something.

Now apparently, I should die in a ditch, and a waste of space. Just because something didn't go quite her way and I said something she didn't want to hear.

The funny thing is she is now trying to text me, being all nice saying she was 'just angry' is that really an excuse?

I never said anything hurtful to her, other than that I feel it isn't working.

What do I do, oh great ones at OCUK?

Should I cut all communication altogether, or..?

You failed something called "**** tests". All Women do this thing where they basically act like a bitch to see how their partner reacts. If you act like a push over they'll walk all over you and carry on with their **** tests till the relationship breaks down and/or they cheat on you. If you let them know in no uncertain terms that their poor attitude will leave them abruptly single then they will respect you for acting like a Man, the **** tests will stop and you'll have a nice easy relationship.

What you did here was try to appease your partner when she was acting out of line, you probably thought you'd actually done something wrong. Next time she's having a go at you over nothing, just hang up the phone and tell her you'll speak to her when she stops acting like a ** Don't attempt to try and bypass swear filter **, then go no contact until she apologises or you find someone better.

-westy- · 29 Dec 2014 at 18:24

Roar87 said:
You failed something called "**** tests". All Women do this thing where they basically act like a bitch to see how their partner reacts. If you act like a push over they'll walk all over you and carry on with their **** tests till the relationship breaks down and/or they cheat on you. If you let them know in no uncertain terms that their poor attitude will leave them abruptly single then they will respect you for acting like a Man, the **** tests will stop and you'll have a nice easy relationship.

What you did here was try to appease your partner when she was acting out of line, you probably thought you'd actually done something wrong. Next time she's having a go at you over nothing, just hang up the phone and tell her you'll speak to her when she stops acting like a *****, then go no contact until she apologises or you find someone better.

A bit bitter are we?

Roar87 · 29 Dec 2014 at 18:40

-westy- said:
A bit bitter are we?

Not at all, I've been with my girlfriend nearly 4 years now, we're planning on buying a house this year.

I find it laughable that I'm the one being questioned when the guy I gave advice to is being told to die in a ditch by his partner and the below is your situation.

-westy- said:
All of these echo my current/recently finished relationship, apart from the fact that she's 19 weeks pregnant. Oh the joy.

Gzero · 29 Dec 2014 at 18:48

-westy- said:
A bit bitter are we?

I think Roar is in the right. No one should be manipulating in a relationship, unless you like wasting your time being unhappy?

NeoReloaded · 29 Dec 2014 at 19:02

Steampunk said:
You have White Knight/Broken Bird syndrome. You find the other woman attractive because she's someone broken you can fix. It makes you feel needed, even though she doesn't want you.

You're better off sticking with the better woman who can actually be an equal (or better) partner in the relationship with you. The question is, do you want someone that can make you happy, or someone that will give you drama?

Stop thinking about the broken woman, and give the better one the chance to make you fall for her.

Bang on! I've been there many times before and it is hard, but you gotta walk away. Time is the greatest healer and it will get better.