The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

-westy- · 29 Dec 2014 at 20:25

Gzero said:
I think Roar is in the right. No one should be manipulating in a relationship, unless you like wasting your time being unhappy?

I completely agree, no one should be manipulative in a relationship. But classifying the start of all relationships as a series of "**** tests" is a bit narrow minded.

My relationship has turned into being emotionally abusive and manipulative, that's why I have ended it.

Roar87 · 29 Dec 2014 at 20:30

-westy- said:
I completely agree, no one should be manipulative in a relationship. But classifying the start of all relationships as a series of "**** tests" is a bit narrow minded.

My relationship has turned into being emotionally abusive and manipulative, that's why I have ended it.

The entire relationship isn't a **** test, I never said that, I just said that all Women **** test at the start of a relationship. It's pretty easy to avoid though, if a girl is acting out of order you either ignore her or call her out on it, what you don't do is actually be phased by it or let it affect your emotional state.

-westy- · 29 Dec 2014 at 20:43

Roar87 said:
The entire relationship isn't a **** test, I never said that, I just said that all Women **** test at the start of a relationship. It's pretty easy to avoid though, if a girl is acting out of order you either ignore her or call her out on it, what you don't do is actually be phased by it or let it affect your emotional state.

I've had a decent amount of relationships, never really encountered it. I do agree though that if someone is doing that (intentionally or otherwise), it should be made clear that it's not on. That said, not everyone is the same in relationships, I know guys who are the passive one and their girlfriends the more dominant; they're perfectly happy

Fuzz · 29 Dec 2014 at 21:03

The__Malteser said:
Mixing up a few people here as others said.

I really want to know what happened to him though.

Oh balls, so I was.
I'd also love to know what happened to the poor *******, he hasn't been back since 22 Nov.

I haven't found the other thread yet, that one was actually more poignant than the one linked to that I'd mixed it up with. DAYUM! :rolleyes:

russell664 · 29 Dec 2014 at 22:21

-westy- said:
All of these echo my current/recently finished relationship, apart from the fact that she's 19 weeks pregnant. Oh the joy.

Oh crap, I feel for you man.

The problem is, I have never had anyone so attached to me before, so don't really know how to go about it.

She has text me throughout the day saying 'I miss you' etc...

Is there anyway to block sms on a z3?

Thanks for all the input guys.

malachi · 30 Dec 2014 at 00:36

russell664 said:
Is there anyway to block sms on a z3?

Its in the settings somewhere, its a default function in most Android phones from the last 2 years.

russell664 · 30 Dec 2014 at 01:22

malachi said:
Its in the settings somewhere, its a default function in most Android phones from the last 2 years.

Coming from someone who builds my own custom roms with upstream patches etc.. from source, as far as i'm aware there are no such functions in vanilla builds of android.

However, I will check on my Z3 as that is the only device which is stock (Can't loose DRM ATM)

Edit; looked in all of the present settings along with the default SMS app. Hmm maybe Sony is a little behind? Who knows... Anyhow, is there any suggestions to block texts on my Z3, apps maybe? To be honest I have never really thought about cutting communication before so it is all new lol.

Sorry for being a noobling.

Ahh! Edit 2; I have looked in the Hangouts app, and have found it there, so I will use that app from now on.

I have had quite a few more texts, and to be fiar is is increasingly harder to not respond.

But, I can see exactly what you guys are saying, and you are all right. Been taken for a mug.

You live and you learn I guess!

xGBHxPegasus · 30 Dec 2014 at 08:36

Google Messenger (the sms app) has a block function, although I think it just doesn't notify you and archives it instantly so you never see it.

Janesy B · 30 Dec 2014 at 10:44

Roar87 said:
Not at all, I've been with my girlfriend nearly 4 years now, we're planning on buying a house this year.

I find it laughable that I'm the one being questioned when the guy I gave advice to is being told to die in a ditch by his partner and the below is your situation.

If all women do it, what stage of the 'tests' are you in? The part where she makes you buy a house and then kicks you out?

RedvGreen · 30 Dec 2014 at 14:09

I think what we can establish is that each any every case is individual - whilst there is security in blanket statements and stereotypes, in reality every case is different as are the emotions, feelings, personalities and other factors which may be subliminal or not even realised...

NeoReloaded · 30 Dec 2014 at 19:27

So I was seeing one of my sisters mates for a few months and out of the blue it all blew up in my face last Tuesday and I had a suspicion it was to do with an ex, but I've just gotten this txt from her;

"Hey, I hope you're ok. I miss you a lot, but I'm txting you to say goodbye babe. I've been looking at houses and jobs in Norfolk to move in January. New place and new start for a while. I want to train to be a midwife and they have a good uni up there. Keiran's (her son) coming with me, but I'm saying goodbye to you

I want you to be happy and find someone who brings out what I did in you, you are one special amazing person and such an amazing guy! I'll never forget how happy you made me

but it won't work now :/ xxxxxxxxxxx"

I am absolutely devastated right now and have no idea how to respond

Fuzz · 30 Dec 2014 at 19:32

DOn't be devastated, if she really wanted you two to be together, her text would have been along the lines of, I am thinking of moving up north, is there any way you could come with me"

That text you got is simply a way out for her, all that gushing at the end.. Bull**** to make her feel less guilty.

All IMO of course.

Fuzz · 30 Dec 2014 at 19:41

Not sure where my next relationship is going to come from, somewhat disheartened after the last kick in the teeth, I've had enough kicks in the teeth now.

Thinking back through past relationships...
Latest one got caught actively on a dating site and had no remorse for being so.
Previous one to that was actually OK, but we just didn't gel together, truth be told, she wanted to go out with me and I was single so was.. Ahh I'll give it a go. You never know
Previous one to that decided, after a year long split with her ex, when he started texting her again, she decided she still loved him
Previous one to that had a mental episode and went off the rails (was already diagnosed Bipolar)
Previous one to that decided it was OK to go off on holiday with her ex (just the two of them)
Previous one to that was a snake with **** who pretended to be pregnant.
Previous one to that was an alcoholic
Previous one to that just wanted a baby, who, when I split up with her, also suddenly declared a bun in the oven.
Previous one to that was married but then when she did leave him, went off with someone else.
Previous one to that had parents who wanted to control everything and she was blind to it... When she saw the end was approaching she turned into a gold digger

Previous one to that shagged her Uni house mate and became remorseful...

JESUS ****ING CHRIST....

Kamerad · 30 Dec 2014 at 20:09

What do they all have in common

Fuzz · 30 Dec 2014 at 21:30

Someone who wont put up with their ****!

malachi · 30 Dec 2014 at 21:47

Fuzz said:
Not sure where my next relationship is going to come from, somewhat disheartened after the last kick in the teeth, I've had enough kicks in the teeth now.

Thinking back through past relationships...
Latest one got caught actively on a dating site and had no remorse for being so.
Previous one to that was actually OK, but we just didn't gel together, truth be told, she wanted to go out with me and I was single so was.. Ahh I'll give it a go. You never know
Previous one to that decided, after a year long split with her ex, when he started texting her again, she decided she still loved him
Previous one to that had a mental episode and went off the rails (was already diagnosed Bipolar)
Previous one to that decided it was OK to go off on holiday with her ex (just the two of them)
Previous one to that was a snake with **** who pretended to be pregnant.
Previous one to that was an alcoholic
Previous one to that just wanted a baby, who, when I split up with her, also suddenly declared a bun in the oven.
Previous one to that was married but then when she did leave him, went off with someone else.
Previous one to that had parents who wanted to control everything and she was blind to it... When she saw the end was approaching she turned into a gold digger
Previous one to that shagged her Uni house mate and became remorseful...

JESUS ****ING CHRIST....

Well you know how to pick them....lol.

Fuzz · 30 Dec 2014 at 22:32

Thankfully I got the email notification

White people they indeed be cray cray

A2Z · 31 Dec 2014 at 01:57

Fuzz said:
Not sure where my next relationship is going to come from, somewhat disheartened after the last kick in the teeth, I've had enough kicks in the teeth now.

Thinking back through past relationships...
Latest one got caught actively on a dating site and had no remorse for being so.
Previous one to that was actually OK, but we just didn't gel together, truth be told, she wanted to go out with me and I was single so was.. Ahh I'll give it a go. You never know
Previous one to that decided, after a year long split with her ex, when he started texting her again, she decided she still loved him
Previous one to that had a mental episode and went off the rails (was already diagnosed Bipolar)
Previous one to that decided it was OK to go off on holiday with her ex (just the two of them)
Previous one to that was a snake with **** who pretended to be pregnant.
Previous one to that was an alcoholic
Previous one to that just wanted a baby, who, when I split up with her, also suddenly declared a bun in the oven.
Previous one to that was married but then when she did leave him, went off with someone else.
Previous one to that had parents who wanted to control everything and she was blind to it... When she saw the end was approaching she turned into a gold digger
Previous one to that shagged her Uni house mate and became remorseful...

JESUS ****ING CHRIST....

From this it looks like you are way too quick to jump in relationships. Just because a woman shows interest doesn't mean you need to jump into a relationship with her. Sleeping together does not mean having to start a relationship.

Take a step back.

Vidar · 31 Dec 2014 at 03:08

A2Z said:
Sleeping together does not mean having to start a relationship.

Take a step back.

Try telling this to most women on PoF

Fuzz · 31 Dec 2014 at 10:19

A2Z said:
From this it looks like you are way too quick to jump in relationships. Just because a woman shows interest doesn't mean you need to jump into a relationship with her. Sleeping together does not mean having to start a relationship.

Take a step back.

What else do you call sleeping together monogamously, going out together, holidaying together and buying gifts for each other over X period of time?

Relationship, a couple, going out, seeing each other, call it what you like.

I didn't marry any of them. What do you want me to step back from?
I've stepped well the **** back once I found out what they did to destroy what we had.