All part of the process though isn't it, you shouldn't feel bad that she's hurting, she will get over it.
At least you have done the right thing by ending it now, rather than further down the line when she has probably fallen in love with you.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
All part of the process though isn't it, you shouldn't feel bad that she's hurting, she will get over it.
At least you have done the right thing by ending it now, rather than further down the line when she has probably fallen in love with you.
Soldato
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- 26 Dec 2005
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- Paisley
Nope, not moved anywhere.
I guess people don't like me very much. The only people I speak to are the people on here, and work colleagues. I don't really class them as friends though.
To be perfectly honest, I don't even know how to make friends. Never really made any when I have tried in the past, so kind gave up.
Look at me being all whiny and stuff!
porushinobu, i'm glad you feel a bit better.
Join classes that you might enjoy, I have a good group of friends but I must have made 20 new friends and a few really good friends doing Krav Maga in the last 6 months.
Soldato
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- 19 Nov 2011
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I'm starting night classes at college soon, so maybe I will meet a few people there.
Associate
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- 23 Mar 2011
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- Devon
Just done some calculations.
The last time I was single for more than 2 years, was about the time i was in year 5 at school!
I know none of the relationships through school count, but still....
The last time I was single for more than 2 years, was about the time i was in year 5 at school!
I know none of the relationships through school count, but still....
Unlucky mate on having so much length of relationships, time apart from gf etc can be important, there is no point settling for second best personalities, just smash something casual insteal.
Soldato
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Sound advice Deus.
FFS, why has being friendzoned made me feel so gloomy?
We've been chatting for all of 2 weeks, went on 2 dates, and never even kissed, yet I am a bit mopey it not going anywhere. I'm guessing it's one part that she is one of the only people that actually matched me and maintained a conversation, and the other is that she is beautiful, intelligent and interesting.
I've just fired out 6 new messages to other matches, hopefully get something going again, as "your're a great guy, but I don't feel a spark" isn't doing wonders for my confidence.
It's almost like being open and honest, which every woman says they want, is a one-way ticket to friendzoneland.
We've been chatting for all of 2 weeks, went on 2 dates, and never even kissed, yet I am a bit mopey it not going anywhere. I'm guessing it's one part that she is one of the only people that actually matched me and maintained a conversation, and the other is that she is beautiful, intelligent and interesting.
I've just fired out 6 new messages to other matches, hopefully get something going again, as "your're a great guy, but I don't feel a spark" isn't doing wonders for my confidence.
It's almost like being open and honest, which every woman says they want, is a one-way ticket to friendzoneland.
Bingo, that's your mistake right there.
You should at least kiss on the first date, if possible take her to bed too.
Theres no reason not to at least kiss, why didn't you?
2 dates and no physical moves...thats straight to the friendzone material. You should always be moving things forward physically, you are the man.
Well the first time her bus suddenly appeared, so there wasn't time (we had just gotten to the bus-stop). I was very quick to let her know after the date that I thought was gorgeous and intelligent and would like to meet again, and she agreed straight away, so I thought being all gentlemanly and not going for the first date kiss actually worked in my favour.
Second time she was on a double-yellow dropping me off, again, not ideal.
From now on, sod it, if the first date goes well, a snog it is!
Second time she was on a double-yellow dropping me off, again, not ideal.
From now on, sod it, if the first date goes well, a snog it is!
Soldato
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- 19 Nov 2011
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^ Yes, if you feel it go for the snog buddy.
Well things have calmed down with my ex now, not getting the flurry of texts saying how much of a coin purse I am.
So finally, I feel I can at least make an effort to look around now.
Well things have calmed down with my ex now, not getting the flurry of texts saying how much of a coin purse I am.
So finally, I feel I can at least make an effort to look around now.
tell me about it! got friendzones too! felt quite crap for 3-4 days :/
3ish weeks of dating, 6ish dates, came over to my place a few times, spent new years together etc etc.. lots of kissing, cuddling hugging no smashing et tho! hey, no rush I was talking her seriously.. and then bam one day I'm randomly in a friendzone??!! WOMEN.
"Well looks like you're gonna have to get the next bus cos you are going to miss this one"
"Why's that?"
*Pull her close and go in for the passionate kiss*
She gave you a second chance to be that guy to make her panties drop.
Could have asked her to stop anywhere that isnt double yellow...or park up and come inside...you need to adapt to the situation, or plan ahead and direct her somewhere she can stop.
I know its easy to say it after it's all happened and you have time to think about it, but yes next time just go for it. After these 2 dates she most likely saw you as a really cool person to chat to and hang out with..but not someone who is going to make her wet.
Then again this is a woman we are talking about and their minds are a bit crazy and maybe she was never interested in the first place but either way its on to the #next one!
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Yep, lesson learned, I actually wanted to catch the bus with her and escort her home (I know the area well and dark streets late at night aren't ideal for a lady), but thought that in itself may have come across as creepy.
That said, it was in total the 6th and 7th dates I have ever been on, so it's a bit of a learning curve for me.
That said, it was in total the 6th and 7th dates I have ever been on, so it's a bit of a learning curve for me.
Soldato
- Joined
- 22 Mar 2007
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- 3,875
Women can be so annoying. There's this girl at work who's 18 (I'm 26) and she's been flirting with me constantly, and not being able to resist a very hot girl (which she is), I've been flirting with her too. Over the weekend I happened to bump into her while I was on a night out with some friends and ended up taking her home. The next morning I asked her if we could keep it between us for the time being because I didn't want loads of work gossip and didn't think it was really anyone's business, which she agreed to.
Fast forward to today and upon going into work I find out that she's already told one of the other women at work, who happens to be the biggest gossip there. Before you know it, everyone knows. Someone came into my office to warn me that rumours were going around about it, so rather than lying and saying it hadn't happened I decided to meet it head on and tell the truth. What's particularly annoying about the whole thing is that people are making snide little comments about it and even questioning whether a 26 year old should be hooking up with an 18 year old. I was thinking of asking her out on a proper date but now I don't know if I can trust her. She generally comes across as very mature but when I confronted her about spilling the secret when she promised not to, her response was "it was only one person I told, I didn't think it would be that big a deal". Women!
Fast forward to today and upon going into work I find out that she's already told one of the other women at work, who happens to be the biggest gossip there. Before you know it, everyone knows. Someone came into my office to warn me that rumours were going around about it, so rather than lying and saying it hadn't happened I decided to meet it head on and tell the truth. What's particularly annoying about the whole thing is that people are making snide little comments about it and even questioning whether a 26 year old should be hooking up with an 18 year old. I was thinking of asking her out on a proper date but now I don't know if I can trust her. She generally comes across as very mature but when I confronted her about spilling the secret when she promised not to, her response was "it was only one person I told, I didn't think it would be that big a deal". Women!
Soldato
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- 19 Nov 2011
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^ He saw the opportunity and took it
Sorry i didnt reply to this sooner. Yeah i recognise she has problems. When i knew her as a friend she had a lot of problems with relationships. (abusive ex bf) After at least a year of her being very stable and i thought much much better we got together. But recent things are making me think that she is not as emotionally stable as i thought. We've known each other for a while and i do love her...i'm just not sure i want to live with her. She did apologise for the strop about no sex and stuff. She just doesn't understand why i don't want to live with her...we had a nice weekend there and i think everything is going well...but then a phonecall on Monday and she is back complaining and having a go about why i cant move in with her and she thinks i'm loving the long distance relationship whilst she is suffering and finding it very difficult. She basically sees it as stop and start and quite disruptive ie i'm around at weekend and then away again.
She basically questions the relationship and if i loved her then why do i not move in with her? I'm trying to tell her that i don't feel comfortable moving in straight away and want things to develop and she gives me lot of examples of all her friends, relatives who moved in straight away and are happy etc.
She doesn't like that i apparently have all the power because she has to wait for me to want to move in so its my way or nothing she says. If i'm honest i'm doubting whether i want to move in now. She doesn't think the relationship develops or grows if i'm not living with her. I think she is a bit too dependent on me to make her happy unfortunately whereas i am more laid back. hrmm :/ She also is adamant that living together as friends and as a couple is the same...no difference and i was willing to do this a few years back (move in as flatmates/friends) so why not now.
Fact is that she's making you unhappy and trying to get you to make life changing decisions that you're not ready for. Why on earth would you move in with someone like that? It's just like people who think that having a baby will fix a failing relationship, when all it does is pile on more pressure and ensure a breakup.
When I was in a long distance relationship, we talked on the phone, missed each other a lot, and spent the weekends doing fun things together and spending a lot of time in bed. When circumstances changed a couple of years down the line we were eager to move in together, we both wanted it, and that's the way it should be.