The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

malachi · 23 Feb 2015 at 18:37

lee1101 said:
I think she was palming you off in a nice way when she mentioned she didn't want another relationship. Don't do any of the above, its a bit creepy and stalkerish.

This.

Don't waste anymore time with her and find someone else. If she was interested then she would have said yes, not given silly excuses.

......She may change her mind by next weekend!?!?!! How old is she? 14? Utter rubbish! More like she has interest in someone else or she's still seeing her ex and hope they get back together.

The amount of women I've heard say, they are not ready for a new relationship after just coming out of one, then a few weeks later they are with someone new. They are talking BS.

[TW]Fox · 23 Feb 2015 at 18:52

S2KIP said:
Now she went red but smiled when I asked her, so I'm assuming it's because she likes me.

No, it'll be because she was surprised and flattered. She isn't interested but she's too nice to say 'No, get lost'. Stalking her isn't going to change that.

Jimbeam3678 · 23 Feb 2015 at 18:54

[TW]Fox;27670344 said:
No, it'll be because she was surprised and flattered. She isn't interested but she's too nice to say 'No, get lost'. Stalking her isn't going to change that.

Straight to the point love it

ChrisD. · 23 Feb 2015 at 18:57

Think I get the point.

Been out of this game or a long long time.

Curio · 23 Feb 2015 at 21:13

S2KIP said:
Think I get the point.

Been out of this game or a long long time.

Maybe....but FLOWERS?

Seriously though, I would give it ONE more shot. Hell, you can even just say something like "I'm giving this one more shot and then I'll leave you alone". Don't try and add her on Facebook. She might still say no if you show up, but at least she'll respect your courage and persistence. Don't go down the creepy route...

The__Malteser · 23 Feb 2015 at 21:59

Curio said:
Maybe....but FLOWERS?

Seriously though, I would give it ONE more shot. Hell, you can even just say something like "I'm giving this one more shot and then I'll leave you alone". Don't try and add her on Facebook. She might still say no if you show up, but at least she'll respect your courage and persistence. Don't go down the creepy route...

If you want to give it one more shot, just shoot her an sms (she has your contact details, so I'm assuming you have hers). Just tell her your offer is still open and she is 'allowed' to decline (basically tell her to tell you yes or no, not maybe). I have no idea how you can phrase this, but hopefully you understand what I mean

ChrisD. · 24 Feb 2015 at 08:02

I don't have her personal contact details, she has mine as well as my address etc as she was doing her job.

[TW]Fox · 24 Feb 2015 at 08:09

S2KIP said:
I don't have her personal contact details, she has mine as well as my address etc as she was doing her job.

You realise if she used your personal details collected in the process of her employers business she could find herself fired? It would be an offence to look up your details and use them to contact you.

teaboy5 · 24 Feb 2015 at 08:14

S2KIP said:
I don't have her personal contact details, she has mine as well as my address etc as she was doing her job.

Just let it go. If she was interested at all, she would have made a point of at least saying hello when you came back the next week.

ChrisD. · 24 Feb 2015 at 08:17

[TW]Fox;27671878 said:
You realise if she used your personal details collected in the process of her employers business she could find herself fired? It would be an offence to look up your details and use them to contact you.

Yes, and if you read my original post on this I make reference to this.

Freakbro · 24 Feb 2015 at 08:23

[TW]Fox;27671878 said:
You realise if she used your personal details collected in the process of her employers business she could find herself fired? It would be an offence to look up your details and use them to contact you.

And then in the real world, nothing happens...as it's not very likely he would make a complaint to the employer

russell664 · 24 Feb 2015 at 09:47

I think it would solely depend on whether her employer found out if she did that though.

Gzero · 24 Feb 2015 at 19:19

Freakbro said:
And then in the real world, nothing happens...as it's not very likely he would make a complaint to the employer

This ^. I can confirm a previous receptionist did something that one would describe was dodgy. Her boss at the time took no action and I think she knew it happened.

Although in this case, I don't think S2KIP should waste any more time on her, and certainly don't worry about running into her, she blew/missed her chance.

IceShock · 15 Mar 2015 at 01:19

3 year relationship down the pan tonight.

I feel like lifes over, but iv spent 1 year feeling like this also. so I don't know how to feel Iv lost who I am. putting on a brave face for a whole year, and then the past two days and a 5000 pound bill from damages from her last kick off. I just cant deal with any more.

deano-5 · 15 Mar 2015 at 01:50

I'm sorry to hear that. What you're feeling is completely normal and its ok to be upset about it. Try to keep yourself busy even if its difficult. Also try and spend time with other people. Being alone isn't always a bad thing but you don't want to be lonely.

IceShock · 15 Mar 2015 at 02:08

iv spent a year being lonely, p.s deano sorry about the terrible joke on your jokes thread. just had a few to drink tonight just wanted to cheer my self up if anything but terrible fail.

but yeah im only 23, 3 years wasted of my prime life and I don't know what to do now. jobs knackard life that iv built ups all just been a waste of time, theres nothing left. Im in ruins. I got to start all over again, im just left on my own like iv been for a year, but with a hefty bill cause of her damages and no way to move forward. I actually don't know what to do, I just wish she was the woman I met.

deano-5 · 15 Mar 2015 at 02:20

No offence taken.

I'm sure you've learnt a few things along the way. Tell us about your job situation, it seems theres more than 1 issue here?

Fuzz · 15 Mar 2015 at 08:14

£5000 damages WAT!!!

JoeBoi · 15 Mar 2015 at 08:40

IceShock said:
3 year relationship down the pan tonight.

I feel like lifes over, but iv spent 1 year feeling like this also. so I don't know how to feel Iv lost who I am. putting on a brave face for a whole year, and then the past two days and a 5000 pound bill from damages from her last kick off. I just cant deal with any more.

£5000 damages, report her to the police. Don't foot the bill yourself.

placeholder · 15 Mar 2015 at 08:50

IceShock said:
iv spent a year being lonely, p.s deano sorry about the terrible joke on your jokes thread. just had a few to drink tonight just wanted to cheer my self up if anything but terrible fail.

but yeah im only 23, 3 years wasted of my prime life and I don't know what to do now. jobs knackard life that iv built ups all just been a waste of time, theres nothing left. Im in ruins. I got to start all over again, im just left on my own like iv been for a year, but with a hefty bill cause of her damages and no way to move forward. I actually don't know what to do, I just wish she was the woman I met.

This will probably sound like a "yeah, yeah" post but what I'm saying is true.

Firstly if she has genuinely caused you £5k of damage then unless you are wealthy enough to take it on the chin you should pursue that when everything has calmed down.

Secondly treat this as an opportunity to be single for a while.

I was 8 months away from a wedding when my relationship broke up and it does mess with your head, but the reason you have broken up is because things aren't right, better to do it now etc etc.

I did all the traditional things - i bought a massive TV, a new mac, a projector, a stupid sports car. Its actually ******* brilliant! Im now in a new relationship for the last year and i still have the car and all the gadgets plus I'm with the most amazing girl I've ever met.

Things may look bleak right now but they will work out. Look after yourself and everything else will take care of itself.