The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

deltalinx said:
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Dude - I know you're feeling bad, but that's poor form. I too have mental health issues - Bipolar, and BPD, and can guarantee that I've spent a lot of time feeling the same way you do now. Especially over women!

But what you've just posted is not cool. I don't even know you, and if you did something to yourself after a post like this, then I will have your death on my conscious. That's not fair on me. That's not fair on this forum. My email is in trust if you want to talk - talking it out is better.

Think of this lass who although has walked away would be heartbroken if you killed yourself and put it all into perspective. We are human beings, and as such are flawed creatures. That doesn't mean that we're worthless - in fact it makes us wonderfully quirky!

Chin up dude - judging by your posting style, I'm going to assume you're younger than me, and being older, I can confidently say that it's not always like this...
 
deltalinx said:
Ok here is my story..

So these are my last words to you all, Thank you to some of you here who have been nice to me and I appreciate the community and who you are as a whole.

Farewell, let's hope it's better on the otherside.
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Buddy take a few minutes and please just sit down and take The_Malteser's advice.
There's so much more to experience in life if you let it and there's so many people that can start to help The Samaritans are another group that you can talk to 0845 790 9090.

contacted OC to inform them of this, hopefully someone there can get in touch with the poster and help somehow.
I really hope you haven't done anything stupid mate and genuinely hope you can get some help.
My email is in trust feel free to contact me anytime even if it's just to play a game to get your mind off things.
 
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deltalinx said:
Ok here is my story..

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Dude, as someone who has been in the same place, I can tell you it gets better.

Just over 8 years ago I was sitting alone, dirty, drunk and ready to give up because I couldn't face a lifetime of what I was going through.

Now I have everything I wanted and some things I didn't know I wanted. Life is never easy, sometimes it dumps on you, but that doesn't mean your whole life is going to suck. Don't miss out on all the good stuff!

Drop me a trust message if you want to talk. Seriously.
 
We're doing what we can - I've personally sent him a message, but OcUK will take the lead from here (and are doing what they can as we speak). He's still online so hopefully he'll pick up the messages.
 
I contacted Overclockers earlier mate to let them know, they said they'd get an admin on to this (think Freefaller) and I believe they're taking it from here and hopefully have went through the right channels.
 
deltalinx said:
Ok here is my story..
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Please don't do anything to yourself. Even though life may not have provided you with the best life, you can still change this with the right help.

My girlfriend suffers from anxiety and depression. Started fine until she started cutting herself. She has been to the docs, she's been on medication. She doesn't do it as much and still gets extremely depressed at times but I'm doing what I can to keep her here. Things have been getting better but we've had to battle through this.

Please just think about what you are saying, a task like this is irreversible should you have a change of heart. Seek the help you can get and I wish you well for the future.
 
Well, my 1 and half relationship has ended after my now ex met a guy at a night out.
She quickly developed feelings for him and she wanted to be alone to think about her feelings.
The day we took our break she spent all day with him and slept at his apartment and spend the next day at his as well.
And last night they went out and she spent the night at his again.
It just hurts so much thinking of what could be going on between them and trying not to is nearly impossible.
Ive been crying the last couple days just thinking about it.
Talking to my mom really helps but it just brings me to tears everytime.
 
Jony27 said:
Well, my 1 and half relationship has ended after my now ex met a guy at a night out.
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Wow that's cold.

Take up something new - treat it as an opportunity for a new start and to take your life in a new direction. Keeping yourself busy definitely makes things easier.
 
I've started drawing again having enjoyed it in highschool.
Having no classes/lectures doesnt help though :(
Also my gym routine is only M/W/F.
Ill be going home Friday to spend some time with my family and high school friends over the easter so hoping it would be a little easier to move on and forget everything.
 
Jony27 said:
Well, my 1 and half relationship has ended after my now ex met a guy at a night out.
She quickly developed feelings for him and she wanted to be alone to think about her feelings.
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That's disgusting fella. I'm sorry to hear it. If she is the type to do something like this (she must have been indicating to this fella that she was available), then you are definitely better off without her!

I know it sucks now, but there are plenty of other fish in the sea - I would have told her to **** off, once she told me all of that tosh.
 
Well the thing is, she isnt that type of person.
I know her well enough to know this.
She's started drinking and going out in the last couple of months as she feels its the only way she feels good as she suffers from anxiety.
So yeah, Ive just been sitting in my room sobbing every 10 mins in the last few days, but today Im going to apply for some placements for my IT course, so I have that going for me, which is nice.
We've decided to try and stay friends but I wont be holding on to anything for my own good.
 
Don't stay friends - she ended it. Staying friends is (vastly more often than not) basically sticking around for when this new relationship breaks down, and you can be there to catch her fall.

Staying friends will just make you feel worse - at least in my experience.

If she's just lost her head and gone on a mad one, then you still need to break contact and never look back. People need to learn that their actions have consequences.
 
I am not one to get In too deep with emotions online, but I thought I would share this to maybe help someone in need if they read it :)

But to anyone in this thread, especially I think DeltaLinx at the moment. As others have said above I have been through and luckily 95% out of the other side of depression and no matter how bad things get there is ALWAYS someone to listen and help no matter what walk of life you may be in.

I spoke to the MIND group / charity and they were incredible to say the very least and pulled me back from a very dark place and got me back on track 3-4 years ago

http://www.mind.org.uk/?gclid=CJOb96mCwcQCFdQZtAod6lUAoQ

I have nothing but respect and admiration for anyone who does this type of job and no matter what you sometimes may think....they really DO listen

Anyway, enough chuntering from me,

Ta

Ben
 
Jony27 said:
I've started drawing again having enjoyed it in highschool.
Having no classes/lectures doesnt help though :(
Also my gym routine is only M/W/F.
Ill be going home Friday to spend some time with my family and high school friends over the easter so hoping it would be a little easier to move on and forget everything.
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Good stuff. :)

Things didn't quite work out how I planned this most recent time around but it hasn't really bothered me seeing as I have so much stuff to keep me busy. If anything, the extra free time is a bonus as I don't have to plan around someone else! :D
 
Deltalinx, please don't do anything sudden, it may seem like the easiest option right now but you have so much more to live for.

We are all here for you, any time no matter how early or late, this is a great community, let us help you. :)
 
Posted the below two post last year, still have the same problem.

Posted in July 2014
Girl ended it with me about 2 months ago as she wanted to try again with her boyfriend of 7 years. We work together and we are still friends, she text me everyday which are innocent enough. But sometimes in her texts they can be pretty flirty (not filth) and I go along with it. Then I think she wants to try again so I ask her and she tells me were just friends.
Then it repeats itself again the last two days have given me the impression she wants to start again. But its same again were just friends. I really do like her a lot and think about her a lot. I keep getting hurt and I don't know what to do really. I want to be with her, but she doesn't want to be, because she cant?? She wants to be my friend and she would be a very good friend to anyone. But I don't feel like I could just be friends, it would be too hard for me. I can accept we cant be together, but we cant be friends. We work together I can be civil and friendly at work. But that would be it, I don't want to have any contact with her outside of work. Is that a bit extreme? Its just that every text she sends me I hope that she will ask us to try again
I will see her tomorrow and i will have a talk with her. If it doesn't go my way which I think it will, what should I do?

Posted in July 2014
I had a talk with her, and she was quite upset about it, near the end of the shift. I never made anyone cry before
About 30 mins ago I have a text saying that she will talk to the boss on Monday that she is leaving. She says she misses me and that its hard not to talk to me.
Believe me when I say she is a great girl but she is heavily conflicted between me and her long term boyfriend.
People say they regret letting someone go in there life, and this is my one 100%. If there is a god, he's a bit of a prankster
I want her in my life, but it makes me sad when I get my hopes up every so often and not be who I want to be with her.
What the hell do I do?
I just want to get on my motorbike and tell her not to go, maybe ill man up and don't feel sad every so often.

Today
Basically today I texted her does she still have feelings just so I could actually get an answer. I got the answer I was expecting, not the one I wanted. She wants to be with her boyfriend. Im sat here feeling here hurt even though I knew for along time that was the answer. She text me nearly everyday still, because she does want us to be friends. But we have tried not talking to each other a few times in the past but it doesn't last.
Now I know we cant be together, im being stringed along now for a year, which is both our faults I admit that. And it aint fair on here boyfriend either.
 
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bakes0310 said:
Posted the below two post last year, still have the same problem.

Posted in July 2014
Girl ended it with me about 2 months ago as she wanted to try again with her boyfriend of 7 years. We work together and we are still friends, she text me everyday which are innocent enough. But sometimes in her texts they can be pretty flirty (not filth) and I go along with it. Then I think she wants to try again so I ask her and she tells me were just friends.
Then it repeats itself again the last two days have given me the impression she wants to start again. But its same again were just friends. I really do like her a lot and think about her a lot. I keep getting hurt and I don't know what to do really. I want to be with her, but she doesn't want to be, because she cant?? She wants to be my friend and she would be a very good friend to anyone. But I don't feel like I could just be friends, it would be too hard for me. I can accept we cant be together, but we cant be friends. We work together I can be civil and friendly at work. But that would be it, I don't want to have any contact with her outside of work. Is that a bit extreme? Its just that every text she sends me I hope that she will ask us to try again
I will see her tomorrow and i will have a talk with her. If it doesn't go my way which I think it will, what should I do?

Posted in July 2014
I had a talk with her, and she was quite upset about it, near the end of the shift. I never made anyone cry before
About 30 mins ago I have a text saying that she will talk to the boss on Monday that she is leaving. She says she misses me and that its hard not to talk to me.
Believe me when I say she is a great girl but she is heavily conflicted between me and her long term boyfriend.
People say they regret letting someone go in there life, and this is my one 100%. If there is a god, he's a bit of a prankster
I want her in my life, but it makes me sad when I get my hopes up every so often and not be who I want to be with her.
What the hell do I do?
I just want to get on my motorbike and tell her not to go, maybe ill man up and don't feel sad every so often.
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Ignore her - she's playing you for her own confidence boost - simple.

Next.
 
Combat squirrel said:
Ignore her - she's playing you for her own confidence boost - simple.

Next.
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This x 100,000,000 - I was in the same boat with a girl for over two years. Breaking off contact was hard, but I'm a massively better person for it. Had a bit of luck with other ladies (although none in the last few weeks).

The point is - the girl I was hung up on and being played by, has heard that I've been "enjoying" myself over this last year, and now she won't leave me alone. She's calling me the love of her life and soulmate and the lot. It's all falling on deaf ears though, as she's made her bed and can lie in it.

The moral of the story is don't wait for a girl to choose you over someone else. Let another girl treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve. You'll look back eventually and wonder how you ever lived like that...
 
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