The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

grudas · 23 May 2015 at 14:43

what ever it is, It's hard to make sense of it

but it sounds like you need to move on because your partner already did.

Dewgy · 23 May 2015 at 18:19

He's decided that his ambition at work is more important to him then you. It sounds like it wouldn't of worked out anyway if he travels a lot and you don't want to be left alone long periods of time.

Abraxaz1 · 24 May 2015 at 18:36

Getting so sick and tired of my girlfriend.

Start of the relationship we'd go out and do stuff on my days off. Not expensive things but spend time outside together.
Now we can't spend more than a hour out of the flat before she claims she's sodding tired, I could understand if she had a full time job but she barely works three days in a week and goes to bed at 12 and wakes up midday the next day.
She's put on two stone and because I do 12 hours she can't be arsed to cook on her nights so we have takeaways so I have put a bloody stone on. So we are both on a diet but she too tired to go for a run or a walk.

Also the sex has completely dropped off since she became so ****ing tired, we've gone from 2-3 a week to once a week if I keep knaging her. I decided last month not to nag and see how long it took to notice and she still bloody hasn't.

And to add insult to injury when she is awake she spends all her time watching sodding Netflix, coming up with ever increasing ways to spend my money or on Pinterest.

Am I being childish wanting a bit of attention or being annoyed that I am putting all the effort in.

P.s. she is currently sleeping on the sofa after 10 hours sleep, forcing us home after a hour in a museum and doing nothing around the house. I have been up since six done 60 hours this week, run 5k this morning and hike 5.7 miles after I dropped her off. Shouldn't the roles be reversed

malachi · 24 May 2015 at 19:06

Abraxaz1 said:
Getting so sick and tired of my girlfriend.

Start of the relationship we'd go out and do stuff on my days off. Not expensive things but spend time outside together.
Now we can't spend more than a hour out of the flat before she claims she's sodding tired, I could understand if she had a full time job but she barely works three days in a week and goes to bed at 12 and wakes up midday the next day.
She's put on two stone and because I do 12 hours she can't be arsed to cook on her nights so we have takeaways so I have put a bloody stone on. So we are both on a diet but she too tired to go for a run or a walk.

Also the sex has completely dropped off since she became so ****ing tired, we've gone from 2-3 a week to once a week if I keep knaging her. I decided last month not to nag and see how long it took to notice and she still bloody hasn't.

And to add insult to injury when she is awake she spends all her time watching sodding Netflix, coming up with ever increasing ways to spend my money or on Pinterest.

Am I being childish wanting a bit of attention or being annoyed that I am putting all the effort in.

P.s. she is currently sleeping on the sofa after 10 hours sleep, forcing us home after a hour in a museum and doing nothing around the house. I have been up since six done 60 hours this week, run 5k this morning and hike 5.7 miles after I dropped her off. Shouldn't the roles be reversed

Talk to her about this and see what progresses from there.

MisChief · 24 May 2015 at 19:13

Maybe she needs to go see a doctor.. Look up hypothyroidism.

Dewgy · 24 May 2015 at 19:39

Yeah I'd definitely check there isn't anything medically wrong before having a go. The problem with getting tired and sleeping so long is that it starts to become the normal amount of energy for you and becomes routine. Could definitely do with some regular exercise sessions together to get her energy up.

ChrisD. · 25 May 2015 at 14:28

Chasing women who are in relationships but want out, worth it?

I know the answer, but it's incredibly frustrating as we get along so well.

Stolly · 25 May 2015 at 14:32

S2KIP said:
Chasing women who are in relationships but want out, worth it?

I know the answer, but it's incredibly frustrating as we get along so well.

She doesn't want you, she just wants not him.

Chris344 · 25 May 2015 at 14:44

Abraxaz1 said:
Getting so sick and tired of my girlfriend.

Start of the relationship we'd go out and do stuff on my days off. Not expensive things but spend time outside together.
Now we can't spend more than a hour out of the flat before she claims she's sodding tired, I could understand if she had a full time job but she barely works three days in a week and goes to bed at 12 and wakes up midday the next day.
She's put on two stone and because I do 12 hours she can't be arsed to cook on her nights so we have takeaways so I have put a bloody stone on. So we are both on a diet but she too tired to go for a run or a walk.

Also the sex has completely dropped off since she became so ****ing tired, we've gone from 2-3 a week to once a week if I keep knaging her. I decided last month not to nag and see how long it took to notice and she still bloody hasn't.

And to add insult to injury when she is awake she spends all her time watching sodding Netflix, coming up with ever increasing ways to spend my money or on Pinterest.

Am I being childish wanting a bit of attention or being annoyed that I am putting all the effort in.

P.s. she is currently sleeping on the sofa after 10 hours sleep, forcing us home after a hour in a museum and doing nothing around the house. I have been up since six done 60 hours this week, run 5k this morning and hike 5.7 miles after I dropped her off. Shouldn't the roles be reversed

She might Have depression mate.

Abraxaz1 · 27 May 2015 at 18:39

So came home to find my PC on unable to shutdown due to programme not responding. The programme is Skype, and my girlfriends account is logged on, second conversation is from a guy saying interesting stuff, so I looked and she's been flirting and messaging him since our sexlife jumped of a cliff. She even rang him when I was in the shower.

Just asked her about this and she says he's a computer genius and its old messages he's changed the date on but as far as I can tell Skype is server based messages and you can't change the date.

I think she just lied to my face but I can't prove it

mattyprice4004 · 27 May 2015 at 18:50

Haha, are you even serious? She's banging him, or is about to.
You can't change the date Skype messages have attached to them even if you're Stephen Hawking

RoboCod · 27 May 2015 at 19:05

I would have guessed at cheating with your original post but yeah I would now say she is definitely cheating, or soon to be cheating.

Time to move on.

Elixir · 27 May 2015 at 20:02

Abraxaz1 said:
Just asked her about this and she says he's a computer genius and its old messages he's changed the date on but as far as I can tell Skype is server based messages and you can't change the date.

I think she just lied to my face but I can't prove it

Absolutely not possible, ditch her.

Janesy B · 27 May 2015 at 20:33

Abraxaz1 said:
So came home to find my PC on unable to shutdown due to programme not responding. The programme is Skype, and my girlfriends account is logged on, second conversation is from a guy saying interesting stuff, so I looked and she's been flirting and messaging him since our sexlife jumped of a cliff. She even rang him when I was in the shower.

Just asked her about this and she says he's a computer genius and its old messages he's changed the date on but as far as I can tell Skype is server based messages and you can't change the date.

I think she just lied to my face but I can't prove it

Bin her if you haven't already.

Fuzz · 27 May 2015 at 21:39

A punch to the ovaries and a boot out of the door for that one Abraxaz1.

L1ght · 27 May 2015 at 23:17

Take your time and find out the truth. Don't make a hasty decision you may regret.

A2Z · 28 May 2015 at 00:38

L1ght said:
Take your time and find out the truth. Don't make a hasty decision you may regret.

He shouldn't need to 'find out the truth'. The truth should have been spoken once he asked her about it. It clearly wasn't, and that's a good enough reason to end the relationship.

Tosno · 28 May 2015 at 01:03

L1ght said:
Take your time and find out the truth. Don't make a hasty decision you may regret.

It would only be a hasty decision he would regret if he can't find better than a lying cheater.

savagesam117 · 28 May 2015 at 01:22

This is probably going to sound silly but I have this thing for a girl I dated like 4 years ago and we stopped talking for about 2 years and started again, now and again, nothing to it but I've always had a thing for her. We are now really close, don't see each other that often but tell each other everything and she's one of my best friends. I think about her all the time, she makes me really happy blah blah blah..

Today we went for a drive to a pub and then went for a meal and I slipped up. She was joking about me never texting her/thinking about her that kind of thing and I said I do all the time and all of a sudden it got really awkward and I didn't finish the conversation, now she keeps bugging me about telling her, but I don't want to ruin what we've got.

Here's the catch, she's got a boyfriend.

I don't know what to do

MissChief · 28 May 2015 at 01:37

savagesam117 said:
This is probably going to sound silly but I have this thing for a girl I dated like 4 years ago and we stopped talking for about 2 years and started again, now and again, nothing to it but I've always had a thing for her. We are now really close, don't see each other that often but tell each other everything and she's one of my best friends. I think about her all the time, she makes me really happy blah blah blah..

Today we went for a drive to a pub and then went for a meal and I slipped up. She was joking about me never texting her/thinking about her that kind of thing and I said I do all the time and all of a sudden it got really awkward and I didn't finish the conversation, now she keeps bugging me about telling her, but I don't want to ruin what we've got.

Here's the catch, she's got a boyfriend.

I don't know what to do

Avoid until she is single. Sounds like she's over it and you're not. Also I'm surprised her BF puts up with it.