Anyone here had any dates/been/or in a relationship with an Asian woman?
I've been acquainted and formed a relationship with an Asian woman, her father is from Nepal and her mother Hong Kong.
She's lived in England now for about 12 years with her parents.. anyway we've been speaking now for a while and got fairly close, her personality is fantastic and she has so much character.
But, she is scared of progressing anywhere, she was forced into an arranged marriage at 14 and but now divorced, she's been with other men since but mostly got bad times with them. (abused etc)
Anyway her mother and father are very strict on their culture etc, and it's a big no for her to see a white man... but she doesn't agree with this obviously but if she was to disobey them they would move back to Asia and abandon her. Well she don't know for sure if they would actually do it, but she thinks they would. She really wants to settle down and form a life for herself with someone. Which is fair enough and everyone is entitled to do what they wish with their life, but I understand the culture side to it too... it's a difficult one.
The girl an absolute stunner, very pretty. She is smart and funny too.
Anyway, anyone here been with any Asians and can give me some tips etc? this is the first foreign woman I've ever gotten close to so it's it a bit different and difficult to determine what to do next.. currently I am just letting it flow and it is going well... apart from the obvious things I've said above.
Thanks
Ok before I start....I am a white guy....and I have only ever exclusively dated Asian woman...culminating in me marrying my Indian wife 12 years ago.
Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Iranian, Vietnamese and Japanese is the breadth of my experience. So while I cant tell you how a white woman operates, I believe I have some experience of Asian women. I do not profess this to be a life hack though, this is something that has worked for me on every occasion aside from the Bangladeshi girl.
White guys are perceived as being the following by a number of Asian cultures :
1)Lacking culture and tradition
2)Not serious about the perception of a relationship. We move on when and as we feel, without any empathy to the damage this can do to a girl/woman. I am aware that I have seen a number of Asian women so I may very well fall into this category.... I managed to work around this.
3)We lack a morale compass. We drink excessively and sleep around excessively.
The general belief is that our values are too far away from theirs. I am sure that TV programmes such as 'Brits Abroad' do nothing to ease these concerns. You need to move yourself away from this as far as possible.
While cultural divergence for a westerner is a non event. Hey what do I care if my wife doesn't eat beef or spends a number of hours a week in the temple room we have at home? For them it is a big deal. The perception is that the man rules the house from a values and a religion perspective so we would move them away from their values, and consequently our children.
In every relationship I have had the parents have been hugely influential in the longevity of the relationship. If they do not approve....the relationship has no staying power. This is FACT. In my experience parental approval was crucial for all of the girls. I made a point of trying to introduce myself to all of them. The key person is the father.
The game plan I had was to be introduced as a 'friend' of the girl, attend a family meal or two etc, then move on to attending a religious/cultural function. Best behaviour etc. Also I made no attempt to have any physical contact with the girls while in front of their parents (no hand holding, hugs etc). Also make it clear that you are serious in your career/business etc. Asian relationships are all about perception (hence the flurry of arranged marriages) so to marry someone at the opposite end of their spectrum is something that the girl's family will have to sell to the extended family (there will be a lot of them) and friends and members of the society. Do not underestimate this.
You cannot be in this for the short game, EVERY Asian girl I dated (ZERO exception) wanted to believe that we were going to marry etc. Genuinely I went into EVERY relationship knowing that this was a perception and I expected that this was on the cards.
In my experience the only relationships that caused me an issue were the ones with Muslim girls. To put it blunty I would have had to change my religion and my name to progress the relationship. I did also consider this with the Pakistani and Iranian girls because the families accepted me on this condition. The Bangladeshi girl? Her father flat out took a dislike to me, so this went nowhere, I became her dirty secret.
So tops tips?
1)Focus on the parents (especially the father - he is the deal maker or breaker)
2)Assure the girl the relationship will be long term, and that this is your goal and not just a bit of fun. The girl will be concerned about her reputation within the community if the relationship is public and breaks down.
3)Be respectful culturally of EVERYTHING she and the family does. Embed yourself with the cultural traditions etc, religion. Get involved in their functions if you can. Show an active interest.
4)Friend zone yourself first as far as her parents are concerned, don't be a boyfriend. Take it slowly with them.
5)Show the parents you are serious about yourself and your career.
As I mentioned earlier, I don't intend this to be a life hack, but this approach this HAS worked for me on EVERY occasion aside from once.
In my experience, Asian women are worth the grind. I am happily married with two kids. My in laws think the sun shines out of my backside and life is currently great.
Best of luck!
I agree with your reflecting on the events that have happened and what you feel/think about them.
) - had to let her down gently but think she took it hard. To be fair it was a dick move by drunken me.
